Boys for Beginners by Lil Chase

I reckon.’
    I laugh. ‘It needs work.’ With all our movement we’re sitting even closer than we were before. I give him a
Ffffffffbrrrrrrrrrrp
, just to show off.
    He’s nodding his head in approval. ‘OK, I bow to your leather blow-off prowess, but I bet you can’t beat my armpit farting extraordinaire!’He puts his hand under one arm and brings the other arm down fast.
    Bppprrrrfllllp
. Comes from his armpit.
    Is there anything this boy can’t do? ‘Wow!’
    I try the same and put my hand under my arm.
Bprflp
.
    â€˜Not bad, not bad,’ he says. ‘Try cupping your hand a bit more.’
Bppprrrrfllllp
. He shows me.
    â€˜Oh cool!’ I try again, using his brilliant cupping technique.
Bpprrflp
.
    â€˜Good!’
Bppprrrrfllllp
.
Bppprrrrfllllp
.
Bppprrrrfllllp
. He’s flapping his arm like a demented, one-winged chicken.
    I join in.
Bppprrrrfllllp
.
Bppprrrrfllllp
.
Bppprrrrfllllp
.
    We’re flapping and farting in unison. I bring in the leather farts to the mix.
Bppprrrrfllllp
.
Fffbrrrrrrrrrrrp
.
Bppprrrrfllllp. Fffbrrrrrrrrrrrp
.
Bppprrrrfllllp
.
    He flops over towards me because he’s laughing so hard. ‘Gwynnie, you’re so—’ Our heads are about a millimetre away from each other.
    I interrupt him with a
Fffbrrrrrrrrrrrp
.
    He laughs again.
    â€˜What’s going on?’ Jenny and Paul have justwalked back in from the other room and they look completely perplexed. Which only makes me and Charlie laugh harder.
    â€˜We could hear you from next door.’
    â€˜Hahahahahaha!’
    Jenny looks disgusted. ‘What the heck are you two doing?’ she asks.
    â€˜We’re starting a band,’ I say, through the tears. ‘The Loud and Prouds,’ and Charlie looks like he’s in pain.
    â€˜I didn’t know you could play an instrument, Gwynnie,’ says Paul.
    â€˜Stop!’ cries Charlie. ‘Please stop!’ He grabs my arm as if he might fall off the sofa. Then he does fall off the sofa and he pulls me with him.
    Jenny scowls as she looks down at us. ‘You two are weird.’
    I don’t care if I’m weird. Charlie’s weird too and we’re rolling round on the floor together. We’re just two weirdos that fancy each other like crazy.

    Two hours after Charlie Notts and me were rolling around the floor together I realize that there is no way he will ever fancy me the way I am. This happens when me, Charlie and Jenny areall standing outside Paul’s house about to go home. Charlie says, ‘Hey, Gwynnie, I don’t have your number.’
    OK, it’s not the completely romantic way that I’d hoped he’d ask for my number, but he’s still asked for my number.
    He gets out his phone. ‘Call me and I’ll save it.’
    â€˜Er, I don’t have a mobile yet.’ This is why I need a mobile phone. Mobile phones were invented exactly for moments like these.
    â€˜Oh.’ Charlie, like everyone, is shocked by this fact.
    Jenny cuts in as if she’s trying to be helpful. ‘It’s OK, Charlie, Gwynnie can always get you on my phone.’
    â€˜Nah, that’s cool,’ says Charlie. ‘I’ll take your home phone.’ He starts tapping at his keypad. ‘Hang on a sec, I’ll add you to my “Mates” group.’
    Charlie Notts has just said that I’m his mate! This is fantastic. I wonder if he means
mates
like friends, or
mates
like mates on nature shows.
    He gives me his phone to type in my number. There don’t seem to be any girls’ names in his phone. This is great! I am the only girl who Charlie wants in his phone.
    Hang on a minute. Doesn’t he have Jenny’s number?
    â€˜Do you want to enter Jenny’s number after I put in mine?’ I ask.
    â€˜I already have it,’ he says.
    â€˜But it’s not here,’ I say.
    Something about the way Charlie sort of blushes and looks at