Breaking Free: A Living Again Novella by L.L. Collins

be too tight and a polo shirt. He normally hated polo shirts, but this one was extra soft, just like he liked it. She had encouraged him to go all out tonight and break all the molds. He wasn’t sure if he could do it, but he would try. For her. And for Alexis.
    His eyes traveled down his chest and across his broad shoulders. The muscles he worked hard for rippled with his movement. He knew that girls liked muscular guys, but that wasn’t why he did it. He worked out because he knew that it was good for him to keep him healthy.
    He had spent a lot of time over the last several weeks talking to Dr. Sharon about Alexis. She and his mom both thought that for the first time in his life, he was serious about a girl. At first he had vehemently denied it, saying that Alexis was his lab partner. But when Dr. Sharon had gone through scenarios with him, including one where Alexis started dating someone, Greer had gotten angry. After several sessions, he had started understanding what they meant.
    It was hard for him to read other people’s emotions and feelings, so he wasn’t sure what Alexis thought of him. He knew by the way she linked her fingers with his instead of pushing him for full contact that she understood him. He also knew that when she looked at him, she smiled a lot. And she didn’t push him to talk on the phone; she was okay with texting because he preferred it. Greer could count on one hand the number of ‘friends’ that had ever come over to his house in his nineteen (almost twenty, he was going to be twenty in 77 days) years. And he had only ‘liked’ a girl once, and that was Evie Callum in eighth grade. That hadn’t worked well when he asked her to the eighth grade prom and she laughed in his face. He had thought they were friends, too.
    Greer flexed in the mirror, turning back and forth to try to see what Alexis might see in him. He was terrified to try to find out if she liked him that way or not. Dropping the rest of his clothes and stepping into the shower, his brain went through every scenario imaginable. He closed his eyes, the water soothing the anxiousness building in him at the thoughts he was having. Alexis’ face came to mind, and his heart rate sped up. As he thought of her lips, curled into that smile she always gave him, he wondered what it might feel like to kiss her. Would he even like kissing? Touching was always a trigger for him, but with her it had been different to this point.
    Greer the Queer , that nasty little voice reminded him. Can’t even get excited for hot cheerleaders . No one wants you. You’re a freak. He shook his head, trying to rid those thoughts from his head. Once he started down that path, it was hard to stop it. His phone vibrated from the counter, and he turned off the shower, drying himself quickly.
    I’m on my way. I’ll be there in thirty minutes . She had ended her text with a smiley face. Grinning, Greer wiped the condensation off the mirror and looked at himself in the mirror again. Touching his fingers to his lips, he imagined his fingers were her lips. Maybe he could handle it, after all.
     

     
    Greer looked out the front window, looking for Alexis’ black Honda Civic. It had been 27 minutes since she had texted him, and she was never late. He had the movie all picked out, and he was going to pop some popcorn and get sodas and candy out. You couldn’t have a movie without those things. His mom and dad were getting ready to go out to dinner with friends, leaving him and Alexis alone.
    He tried not to think about that too much. He was going to enjoy his night with her and not worry about the rest.
    Greer heard a gasp from behind him and he turned, seeing his mom and dad standing in the hallway, their mouths agape. “What?” He looked down to make sure he hadn’t left his fly open or something.
    His mom put her hands over her mouth, which he knew meant that she was trying not to cry. What was making her cry? His dad put his hands on her shoulders,