predatory assholes. I told her about Johnny confronting his
friends, about him carrying Claire home, about her suicide and his testimony
against the people he had played hockey with, who he had been close to. And I
told her about how he still blamed himself. I closed my eyes. “Okay,” Georgia
said when I finished. “That…I can’t really argue with you. So what are you
going to do now?” I thought about it for a long moment.
“I have to go find him.”
Chapter
Nine
I felt myself starting to panic again and told myself
I had to rein it in. I wasn’t going to be able to do anything for Johnny if I
went off like a crazy person. I found my phone and went into my bedroom in the
dorm and tried to call him; there was no answer. I bit my bottom lip. I could
understand that Johnny was probably getting a lot of phone calls just then. His
phone was probably ringing off the hook. But I had no idea where he might be on
the campus. I tried calling him again; again no answer.
I decided to change tactics. Even if he wasn’t
answering his phone, he might see a text. Hey
babe, it’s me — I wanted to make sure you’re okay. Get back to me, please? I found myself pulling up the news on my laptop, reading with my stomach in
knots as more and more articles came out about the situation with Claire White,
about Johnny’s possible involvement, and a rehash of all of the details that
had been published before. The comments sections on all of the articles were
absolutely vile, with people saying that Johnny should have been shot, that no
jury on the planet would convict Claire’s parents for killing him.
I was trembling. I tried to call Johnny a third time;
this time it went straight to voicemail. His phone was off. I didn’t know what
to do. I knew I had to talk to him and soon, but I couldn’t imagine how I was
going to find him on the campus. I remembered everything he had said to me
about the situation, I remembered how he had cried. I remembered that he blamed
himself for what had happened to Claire. Wasn’t it bad enough that he was
taking the blame for something he didn’t even do, that he was carrying around
the pain of what had happened to a girl he loved?
I started to feel angry. This was all because of my
parents and their stupid private investigator, I knew it was; if they had just
left well enough alone, Johnny wouldn’t be getting hounded and wouldn’t have to
relive the whole terrible situation. He might actually live in peace. I had
already told my mom off; I found myself picking up my phone again and finding
my dad’s number in my contacts. I hit the call icon before I could even
hesitate and rethink what I was doing.
“What’s going on, sweetie?” Dad said the moment the
call connected.
“How could you?” I shouted. “How could you do this to
him?”
“What do you mean, Becky? What are you talking about?”
I nearly screamed in frustration.
“What am I talking about? You and mom hiring some
incompetent private investigator to look into Johnny’s past, that’s what I’m
talking about.”
“Sweetie, slow down. What’s going on?” I took a deep
breath, realizing that I couldn’t keep up the momentum of my rapidly-escalating
anger forever.
“A bunch of news companies are writing about Johnny
being involved in — in that terrible mess with Claire White — all because your
stupid private investigator dug into him. Johnny had nothing to do with that.”
“How do you know, Becky? If the private investigator
was able to turn something up, that’s a real cause for concern. Your mother and
I are really worried about you with that boy.”
“Why didn’t you think to ask me about it? Why not ask
Johnny? Why not do anything other than drag out a tragedy that he still blames
himself for and get him into a huge mess with the whole fucking world?”
“Becky, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“What I’m talking about is that Johnny wasn’t even
there when that attack
friends, about him carrying Claire home, about her suicide and his testimony
against the people he had played hockey with, who he had been close to. And I
told her about how he still blamed himself. I closed my eyes. “Okay,” Georgia
said when I finished. “That…I can’t really argue with you. So what are you
going to do now?” I thought about it for a long moment.
“I have to go find him.”
Chapter
Nine
I felt myself starting to panic again and told myself
I had to rein it in. I wasn’t going to be able to do anything for Johnny if I
went off like a crazy person. I found my phone and went into my bedroom in the
dorm and tried to call him; there was no answer. I bit my bottom lip. I could
understand that Johnny was probably getting a lot of phone calls just then. His
phone was probably ringing off the hook. But I had no idea where he might be on
the campus. I tried calling him again; again no answer.
I decided to change tactics. Even if he wasn’t
answering his phone, he might see a text. Hey
babe, it’s me — I wanted to make sure you’re okay. Get back to me, please? I found myself pulling up the news on my laptop, reading with my stomach in
knots as more and more articles came out about the situation with Claire White,
about Johnny’s possible involvement, and a rehash of all of the details that
had been published before. The comments sections on all of the articles were
absolutely vile, with people saying that Johnny should have been shot, that no
jury on the planet would convict Claire’s parents for killing him.
I was trembling. I tried to call Johnny a third time;
this time it went straight to voicemail. His phone was off. I didn’t know what
to do. I knew I had to talk to him and soon, but I couldn’t imagine how I was
going to find him on the campus. I remembered everything he had said to me
about the situation, I remembered how he had cried. I remembered that he blamed
himself for what had happened to Claire. Wasn’t it bad enough that he was
taking the blame for something he didn’t even do, that he was carrying around
the pain of what had happened to a girl he loved?
I started to feel angry. This was all because of my
parents and their stupid private investigator, I knew it was; if they had just
left well enough alone, Johnny wouldn’t be getting hounded and wouldn’t have to
relive the whole terrible situation. He might actually live in peace. I had
already told my mom off; I found myself picking up my phone again and finding
my dad’s number in my contacts. I hit the call icon before I could even
hesitate and rethink what I was doing.
“What’s going on, sweetie?” Dad said the moment the
call connected.
“How could you?” I shouted. “How could you do this to
him?”
“What do you mean, Becky? What are you talking about?”
I nearly screamed in frustration.
“What am I talking about? You and mom hiring some
incompetent private investigator to look into Johnny’s past, that’s what I’m
talking about.”
“Sweetie, slow down. What’s going on?” I took a deep
breath, realizing that I couldn’t keep up the momentum of my rapidly-escalating
anger forever.
“A bunch of news companies are writing about Johnny
being involved in — in that terrible mess with Claire White — all because your
stupid private investigator dug into him. Johnny had nothing to do with that.”
“How do you know, Becky? If the private investigator
was able to turn something up, that’s a real cause for concern. Your mother and
I are really worried about you with that boy.”
“Why didn’t you think to ask me about it? Why not ask
Johnny? Why not do anything other than drag out a tragedy that he still blames
himself for and get him into a huge mess with the whole fucking world?”
“Becky, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“What I’m talking about is that Johnny wasn’t even
there when that attack
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