dreams they could be together again. She knew
it was irrational but it got her through some tough days. She wasn’t
eating enough as she had no appetite or energy. At work she would stay at
her desk, attempting to eat a sandwich as she couldn’t go through the pretence
of sitting in the canteen with the others. She didn’t want to hear how
well all their lives were or holidays booked or even marital disputes.
She wanted to scream at them appreciate everything that you have and not take
it for granted. But she didn’t. The words were unsaid. In the
past she would sit at lunch exchange stories or talk about what they had
watched the night before on TV. Now she had no interest and she knew they
were relieved she didn’t join them. Oh a few times they would press her
to join them but after her negative shake of the head and maybe next time
reply, they stopped asking. It was awkward. What would her reply be
to watching TV or what did she do at the weekend? The TV was on for the
background noise at home but she didn’t know what program was on. Oh the
weekend, mmm what did I do? Well after crying herself to sleep, crying at
the supermarket over a carton of orange juice or even just crying because his
favourite rugby team was playing she could guess their responses. A quick
turnabout and retreat.
The answer machine was bleeping when she got home
from another rough and bruising day. She pressed the button intending to delete
without listening. If she didn’t listen to the messages the machine would
continue to bleep announcing, listen to me, listen to me!
“You have 7 messages,” Great, I’m popular,
“Message 1” she kicked off her shoes, flung her bag
and keys down and let the messages play out. “This is Parkville dental practice
and a message for Robert Davies we-“DELETE she couldn’t listen to any more of that.
“Message 2 .. Great News you are entered into
a prize draw to win” DELETE
“Message 3 .. Hi its Mum, just calling to see if
everything is okay, call me when you get this, love you” DELETE.
“Message 4 ..Carrie, pick up the phone, Carrie I
know you are screening your calls … Ah bugger, call me ” DELETE Claire had
sounded impatient but she couldn’t remember ‘avoiding’ the call. Well this time
she didn’t.
“Message 5 .. This is Donna from Dazzle Me. You
missed your last appointment “DELETE.
“Message 6 .. Good Morning, this is a call for Mrs
Reynolds-Davies. Can you please return our call to discuss your banking
requirements?” DELETE.
“Message 7 .. Hello … Hello oh I hate speaking on
these things … Carrie darling ... its Auntie Belle I’ve been thinking why don’t
you come and visit? I’ve been talking with your Mum and she’s worried
about you, you know how she does.. Anyway how about” and the message ran
out. Typical Auntie Belle carrying on a conversation when she wasn’t
there!
Oh exciting microwave penne pasta dish for dinner.
She wasn’t hungry but knew if her Mum popped over later she would check
that Carrie had been eating. Her Mum would even check the rubbish bin for
evidence. The microwave began its countdown and she set the table for one
taking some cutlery from the drawer, a napkin and finally a glass of
wine. All these tasks accomplished before the final ping of the
microwave. Auntie Belle was a character and Carrie had always enjoyed
staying with her in the past. She was her Mums younger sister and Carrie
idolised her. Her job in the hospitality industry gave her the
opportunity to travel the world consulting on ailing hotels that needed a
revamp. As a child Carrie had thought it very exciting and they would
holiday wherever Auntie Belle was working. Sometimes the locations
glamorous and then the not so glamorous but it was fun ordering room service
and travelling up and down in the elevators. It was no surprise that
Carries education had continued in the same vein and she had
it was irrational but it got her through some tough days. She wasn’t
eating enough as she had no appetite or energy. At work she would stay at
her desk, attempting to eat a sandwich as she couldn’t go through the pretence
of sitting in the canteen with the others. She didn’t want to hear how
well all their lives were or holidays booked or even marital disputes.
She wanted to scream at them appreciate everything that you have and not take
it for granted. But she didn’t. The words were unsaid. In the
past she would sit at lunch exchange stories or talk about what they had
watched the night before on TV. Now she had no interest and she knew they
were relieved she didn’t join them. Oh a few times they would press her
to join them but after her negative shake of the head and maybe next time
reply, they stopped asking. It was awkward. What would her reply be
to watching TV or what did she do at the weekend? The TV was on for the
background noise at home but she didn’t know what program was on. Oh the
weekend, mmm what did I do? Well after crying herself to sleep, crying at
the supermarket over a carton of orange juice or even just crying because his
favourite rugby team was playing she could guess their responses. A quick
turnabout and retreat.
The answer machine was bleeping when she got home
from another rough and bruising day. She pressed the button intending to delete
without listening. If she didn’t listen to the messages the machine would
continue to bleep announcing, listen to me, listen to me!
“You have 7 messages,” Great, I’m popular,
“Message 1” she kicked off her shoes, flung her bag
and keys down and let the messages play out. “This is Parkville dental practice
and a message for Robert Davies we-“DELETE she couldn’t listen to any more of that.
“Message 2 .. Great News you are entered into
a prize draw to win” DELETE
“Message 3 .. Hi its Mum, just calling to see if
everything is okay, call me when you get this, love you” DELETE.
“Message 4 ..Carrie, pick up the phone, Carrie I
know you are screening your calls … Ah bugger, call me ” DELETE Claire had
sounded impatient but she couldn’t remember ‘avoiding’ the call. Well this time
she didn’t.
“Message 5 .. This is Donna from Dazzle Me. You
missed your last appointment “DELETE.
“Message 6 .. Good Morning, this is a call for Mrs
Reynolds-Davies. Can you please return our call to discuss your banking
requirements?” DELETE.
“Message 7 .. Hello … Hello oh I hate speaking on
these things … Carrie darling ... its Auntie Belle I’ve been thinking why don’t
you come and visit? I’ve been talking with your Mum and she’s worried
about you, you know how she does.. Anyway how about” and the message ran
out. Typical Auntie Belle carrying on a conversation when she wasn’t
there!
Oh exciting microwave penne pasta dish for dinner.
She wasn’t hungry but knew if her Mum popped over later she would check
that Carrie had been eating. Her Mum would even check the rubbish bin for
evidence. The microwave began its countdown and she set the table for one
taking some cutlery from the drawer, a napkin and finally a glass of
wine. All these tasks accomplished before the final ping of the
microwave. Auntie Belle was a character and Carrie had always enjoyed
staying with her in the past. She was her Mums younger sister and Carrie
idolised her. Her job in the hospitality industry gave her the
opportunity to travel the world consulting on ailing hotels that needed a
revamp. As a child Carrie had thought it very exciting and they would
holiday wherever Auntie Belle was working. Sometimes the locations
glamorous and then the not so glamorous but it was fun ordering room service
and travelling up and down in the elevators. It was no surprise that
Carries education had continued in the same vein and she had
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