hug – but then he held me at arm’s length and looked into my eyes. ‘Are you sure you know what you’re saying, Floss? I think maybe you’d be much better off in Australia with your mum. You don’t have to stay with your old dad, you know. I’ll miss you heaps and heaps but I’ll manage fine, I promise.’
‘
I
won’t manage, Dad,’ I said. ‘I want to stay with you.’
‘Well you
can’t
, so you can stop this silly act right now,’ Mum said. ‘You’re my daughter and you’re coming to live with me.’
‘No I’m not.’
‘Yes you are.’
‘No I’m
not
.’
‘Yes you
are
.’
‘Oh no I’m NOT.’
‘Hey hey hey, you two! You sound like a bad pantomime act,’ said Dad.
‘Don’t you tell me what to do,’ said Mum. ‘I’m sure this is all your fault. You put Floss up to this. I tell you, she was absolutely thrilled to be going to Australia, as anyone in their right mind would be.’
‘Well, she seems in her right mind now to me – and it’s clear what she wants to do,’ said Dad. ‘She wants to stay with me.’
‘She can’t! A daughter’s place is with her mother,’ Mum insisted. She turned to me. ‘Floss?’ Her voice cracked as if she was going to cry. ‘You do really want to be with me, don’t you, darling?’
She waited. Dad waited. I waited too.
I didn’t
know
what I really wanted.
Yes I did. I wanted Steve and Tiger to disappear in a puff of smoke. I wanted our family to be just Mum and Dad and me. It would be like it used to be long ago, when Dad called Mum his big princess and she laughed at all his silly jokes and we had breakfast in bed on Sunday mornings and cuddles all together on the big sofa in the living room.
I shut my eyes for a second and wished for what I wanted.
I knew my wish couldn’t possibly come true. I opened my eyes again. There was Mum, her forehead pinched with two sharp lines above her nose, her carefully outlined shiny lips pressed hard together in a straight line. There was Dad, gnawing at a piece of loose skin on his thumb, his hair sticking up sideways, his sweatshirt too tight over his tummy. I could wish and wish until I blew up like a giant balloon, but Mum and Dad weren’t ever going to get back together.
Tiger started grizzling because Mum was holding him too tightly. Steve reached over and took him, swinging him up onto his broad shoulders. Tiger chuckled with delight. He loved his dad.
I loved
my
dad. I loved him even more because he wasn’t tall and fit and handsome and clever like Steve. Mum had Steve and Tiger. Dad didn’t have anyone but me.
‘I really want to stay here with Dad,’ I said quietly to Mum. ‘Please please please let me.’
Mum’s face screwed up. Her glossy lips disappeared as her mouth contorted. Tears started rolling down her cheeks. ‘All right,’ she whispered. She clutched her stomach as if she’d just been punched.
Steve pulled her close, Tiger still perching on his shoulders.
Dad put his arms right round me. I could feel him shaking. I think he was crying too.
It would have been easier if we could have all split up there and then, but I stayed with Mum and Steve and Tiger until they went to Australia.
It was awful. Mum and I didn’t know how to act with each other. One day Mum would act all cold and distant, and whenever I looked up she’d be staring at me reproachfully. The next day she would be brisk and bossy, telling me she was damned if I was going to mess up all their plans and if I didn’t want to go to Australia it was my loss, not hers. But the day after that she suddenly burst into floods of tears and I did too. I sat on Mum’s lap and cuddled in close and she rocked me as if I was as tiny as Tiger.
‘I’m going to miss you so, my baby,’ said Mum.
‘I’m going to miss you too, Mum,’ I said.
‘
Please
come with us,’ she murmured into my curls.
I wanted to so much. Mum looked like she’d really really miss me, maybe even as much as Dad. I didn’t see how I
‘
I
won’t manage, Dad,’ I said. ‘I want to stay with you.’
‘Well you
can’t
, so you can stop this silly act right now,’ Mum said. ‘You’re my daughter and you’re coming to live with me.’
‘No I’m not.’
‘Yes you are.’
‘No I’m
not
.’
‘Yes you
are
.’
‘Oh no I’m NOT.’
‘Hey hey hey, you two! You sound like a bad pantomime act,’ said Dad.
‘Don’t you tell me what to do,’ said Mum. ‘I’m sure this is all your fault. You put Floss up to this. I tell you, she was absolutely thrilled to be going to Australia, as anyone in their right mind would be.’
‘Well, she seems in her right mind now to me – and it’s clear what she wants to do,’ said Dad. ‘She wants to stay with me.’
‘She can’t! A daughter’s place is with her mother,’ Mum insisted. She turned to me. ‘Floss?’ Her voice cracked as if she was going to cry. ‘You do really want to be with me, don’t you, darling?’
She waited. Dad waited. I waited too.
I didn’t
know
what I really wanted.
Yes I did. I wanted Steve and Tiger to disappear in a puff of smoke. I wanted our family to be just Mum and Dad and me. It would be like it used to be long ago, when Dad called Mum his big princess and she laughed at all his silly jokes and we had breakfast in bed on Sunday mornings and cuddles all together on the big sofa in the living room.
I shut my eyes for a second and wished for what I wanted.
I knew my wish couldn’t possibly come true. I opened my eyes again. There was Mum, her forehead pinched with two sharp lines above her nose, her carefully outlined shiny lips pressed hard together in a straight line. There was Dad, gnawing at a piece of loose skin on his thumb, his hair sticking up sideways, his sweatshirt too tight over his tummy. I could wish and wish until I blew up like a giant balloon, but Mum and Dad weren’t ever going to get back together.
Tiger started grizzling because Mum was holding him too tightly. Steve reached over and took him, swinging him up onto his broad shoulders. Tiger chuckled with delight. He loved his dad.
I loved
my
dad. I loved him even more because he wasn’t tall and fit and handsome and clever like Steve. Mum had Steve and Tiger. Dad didn’t have anyone but me.
‘I really want to stay here with Dad,’ I said quietly to Mum. ‘Please please please let me.’
Mum’s face screwed up. Her glossy lips disappeared as her mouth contorted. Tears started rolling down her cheeks. ‘All right,’ she whispered. She clutched her stomach as if she’d just been punched.
Steve pulled her close, Tiger still perching on his shoulders.
Dad put his arms right round me. I could feel him shaking. I think he was crying too.
It would have been easier if we could have all split up there and then, but I stayed with Mum and Steve and Tiger until they went to Australia.
It was awful. Mum and I didn’t know how to act with each other. One day Mum would act all cold and distant, and whenever I looked up she’d be staring at me reproachfully. The next day she would be brisk and bossy, telling me she was damned if I was going to mess up all their plans and if I didn’t want to go to Australia it was my loss, not hers. But the day after that she suddenly burst into floods of tears and I did too. I sat on Mum’s lap and cuddled in close and she rocked me as if I was as tiny as Tiger.
‘I’m going to miss you so, my baby,’ said Mum.
‘I’m going to miss you too, Mum,’ I said.
‘
Please
come with us,’ she murmured into my curls.
I wanted to so much. Mum looked like she’d really really miss me, maybe even as much as Dad. I didn’t see how I
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