our darkest dreams.
You belong in the darkness with me.
All I See Is Your Absence
When I awake each morning,
I do not see the sunrise.
I do not see autumn leaves
Swirling around in the breeze.
All I see is your absence.
My ears, deaf to the birds’ song,
Deaf to the wind in the trees.
They cannot hear the music
Of the life surrounding me.
All they hear is your silence.
My mind returns to your lips,
But I no longer feel them.
My skin, longing for your touch,
Has forgotten your caress.
All it feels is your distance.
I start a new empty day
Hoping to fill it with you
Hoping to find a way back
To see the heat in your eyes,
But all I see is your absence.
If I Had Known...
If I had known it would be the last
I would have held you longer,
Slipping my arms around you,
Pulling you close to me, too,
Placing my cheek on your chest,
Stroking your hair, watching you rest.
If I had only known.
If I had known it would fade so fast
I would have kissed you deeper,
Absorbing your lips’ softness,
Losing myself in your kiss.
Drinking in all your desire,
Refusing to quench the fire.
If I had only known.
If I had known it would be the last
I would have stayed through the night,
Holding on to every breath
As if it would mean my death
To let you go.
If I had only known.
Reality.
No more dreams.
This is my reality now.
Alone. In the dark
Crouching in the driveway
Night after night at 3am
With only a cigarette and the cold wind
To keep me company.
The loss consumes me.
This is my reality now.
No note or text or email or message
To say “I miss you” or “Let’s find a way.”
Nothing but the dark and the cold,
Nothing but my shame and regret
To keep me company.
He has been over me for weeks
Cuddled up, asleep with her
But I cannot sleep.
My pain wakes me
Night after night at 3am.
This is my reality.
Love’s Unrelenting Claw
Love’s unrelenting claw
Gripped tightly around my heart
Squeezing out the life
Suffocating
Pounding
Ripping
Tearing
Its fervent fingers refusing to let go,
Forcing my weakened heart to beat & pulse within its grasp
Bulging out between bony knuckles
Struggling to survive
Bleeding
Weeping
Begging to be released.
The Pain You Caused
Do you feel the pain you caused?
Do you cry. Do you crumple into a ball?
Grasping at the wall?
Shaking, shivering, cutting?
Remember how you said
To get used to being pleased by you?
To get used to catching my breath?
No pleasure. Only pain, emptiness, gasping for breath.
Breakdown.
After Breakdown.
After Breakdown.
Remember my thighs?
The ones you said you would kill for?
The ones you lay between to taste me?
Their longing is now revealed in long, bloody cuts.
Do you feel the pain you caused?
Relationship Articles
These articles were originally posted on O. M. Grey’s blog “Caught in the Cogs” at http://omgrey.wordpress.com . More relationship articles can be found there.
Polyamory as an Alternative to Infidelity
“That doesn’t work.”
No doubt, if you have heard someone talk about “polyamory,” or any of the terms describing open marriage or non-monogamous relationships, and especially if you have suggested it to your spouse or girlfriend, you likely heard those words.
“That doesn’t work.”
Discussion over. Next.
The harsh truth about marriages in today’s society is that nearly 50% of them end in divorce, largely due to infidelity. Second marriages, in which one would thought they had avoided the pitfalls that ended their first marriage, have a 60% divorce rate. Third marriages? 75% divorce rate.1
Perhaps monogamy doesn’t work. Certainly not for everybody. That said, alternative lifestyles like Polyamory don’t work for everyone either. Couples are like snowflakes: no two are alike. What works for
You belong in the darkness with me.
All I See Is Your Absence
When I awake each morning,
I do not see the sunrise.
I do not see autumn leaves
Swirling around in the breeze.
All I see is your absence.
My ears, deaf to the birds’ song,
Deaf to the wind in the trees.
They cannot hear the music
Of the life surrounding me.
All they hear is your silence.
My mind returns to your lips,
But I no longer feel them.
My skin, longing for your touch,
Has forgotten your caress.
All it feels is your distance.
I start a new empty day
Hoping to fill it with you
Hoping to find a way back
To see the heat in your eyes,
But all I see is your absence.
If I Had Known...
If I had known it would be the last
I would have held you longer,
Slipping my arms around you,
Pulling you close to me, too,
Placing my cheek on your chest,
Stroking your hair, watching you rest.
If I had only known.
If I had known it would fade so fast
I would have kissed you deeper,
Absorbing your lips’ softness,
Losing myself in your kiss.
Drinking in all your desire,
Refusing to quench the fire.
If I had only known.
If I had known it would be the last
I would have stayed through the night,
Holding on to every breath
As if it would mean my death
To let you go.
If I had only known.
Reality.
No more dreams.
This is my reality now.
Alone. In the dark
Crouching in the driveway
Night after night at 3am
With only a cigarette and the cold wind
To keep me company.
The loss consumes me.
This is my reality now.
No note or text or email or message
To say “I miss you” or “Let’s find a way.”
Nothing but the dark and the cold,
Nothing but my shame and regret
To keep me company.
He has been over me for weeks
Cuddled up, asleep with her
But I cannot sleep.
My pain wakes me
Night after night at 3am.
This is my reality.
Love’s Unrelenting Claw
Love’s unrelenting claw
Gripped tightly around my heart
Squeezing out the life
Suffocating
Pounding
Ripping
Tearing
Its fervent fingers refusing to let go,
Forcing my weakened heart to beat & pulse within its grasp
Bulging out between bony knuckles
Struggling to survive
Bleeding
Weeping
Begging to be released.
The Pain You Caused
Do you feel the pain you caused?
Do you cry. Do you crumple into a ball?
Grasping at the wall?
Shaking, shivering, cutting?
Remember how you said
To get used to being pleased by you?
To get used to catching my breath?
No pleasure. Only pain, emptiness, gasping for breath.
Breakdown.
After Breakdown.
After Breakdown.
Remember my thighs?
The ones you said you would kill for?
The ones you lay between to taste me?
Their longing is now revealed in long, bloody cuts.
Do you feel the pain you caused?
Relationship Articles
These articles were originally posted on O. M. Grey’s blog “Caught in the Cogs” at http://omgrey.wordpress.com . More relationship articles can be found there.
Polyamory as an Alternative to Infidelity
“That doesn’t work.”
No doubt, if you have heard someone talk about “polyamory,” or any of the terms describing open marriage or non-monogamous relationships, and especially if you have suggested it to your spouse or girlfriend, you likely heard those words.
“That doesn’t work.”
Discussion over. Next.
The harsh truth about marriages in today’s society is that nearly 50% of them end in divorce, largely due to infidelity. Second marriages, in which one would thought they had avoided the pitfalls that ended their first marriage, have a 60% divorce rate. Third marriages? 75% divorce rate.1
Perhaps monogamy doesn’t work. Certainly not for everybody. That said, alternative lifestyles like Polyamory don’t work for everyone either. Couples are like snowflakes: no two are alike. What works for
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