Christy Miller's Diary by Robin Jones Gunn Page B

forward to is the possibility of seeing Paula. I haven’t had any communication with her for so long. It’s going to be very strange seeing her again.
July 3
    Dear SF.
    What is love? How does a person know if they are truly in love? What makes love last? I think it’s important to think through some of these things and decide what’s important to me.
    Tonight my grandparents celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary at the church where I grew up. I asked them how they knew they were in love and how they knew who was the right person to marry. They gave me several answers. Grandma says love is a one-time decision followed by lots of everyday small choices that build on that original decision. Grandpa was kind of funny. He said it has to do with what you have in common.
    Here are two words I want to think about when it comes to relationships: Commitment and Intimacy.
    I think commitment needs to be the foundation for any lasting relationship, just like I didn’t have a deep and growing relationship with Christ until I first made a commitment to Him. With intimacy I don’t mean physically. I mean knowing the heart of the other person in a special way so that you share and treasure the same things that are important to them.
    I never realized it before but I want that kind of intimacy more in my relationship with the Lord. I want to share and treasure the things He values. I want to know what’s in His heart.
    God wants to have that kind of intimacy with me. I know He does. He knows everything I’ve ever tucked away in this secret corner of my heart and He wants to share it with me.
    Wow! I just had one of those moments when everything seemed clear. I realized that Almighty God has chosen to be committed and intimate with me. Love is a choice, just like Grandma said. And God chose to love me. Not only one time, but over and over again, even when I do things He can’t stand. Wow. God chose me and He chooses me over and over again every day, regardless of what I do or don’t do right. That’s amazing.
July 6
    Greetings, my Silent One,
    We’re back from Wisconsin already and I wanted to write about something that happened there. I didn’t see Paula, but I saw Matthew Kingsley. He’s a boy I grew up with and had a huge crush on all through elementary school. Matt came to see me the first day I got to my grandparents’. We spent a lot of time together, and talked a lot. We both were sort of trying to figure out if we still had anything left of our childhood crushes. He knew I had a crush on him. This weekend was the first time I found out that he had a bit of a crush on me, too.
    We were able to talk about our feelings and thoughts openly, which I thought was great. We decided that even though we sort of feel a little something for each other, that doesn’t mean we have to act on those feelings. We were childhood friends and we can now be old friends.
    Our talk was all wise and mature and nice. But now that I’m home, I’m having these funny little waves of second thoughts. I mean, what if there could have been something of a long-distance romance that could have budded there if we encouraged it along?
    I’ve been thinking about it a lot today and I guess my conclusion is that when we walk with the Lord and trust Him along the way, He makes our path clear. If something was supposed to start up between Matt and me, then I believe God would have worked it out. I didn’t miss any important clue along the way.
    Do you want to know something I just thought of? I think I’m stuck in a pattern of “summer love.” Ever since I met Todd on the beach the summer I turned fifteen, I’ve subconsciously looked for a summer romance each year. The summer I turned sixteen was when we went to Maui and I was expecting much more “romance” from Todd. The next summer I was a counselor at camp and I soaked up every bit of attention I got from Jaeson as if that was supposed to be my heart fling for that summer.
    This summer,