Come Undone by Jessica Hawkins

and looked over my shoulder to find
the man filling the doorway, his hands fixed against the jamb and his head
slightly cocked as he watched me. David .
He appeared roguishly sexy in dark jeans and an open black pea coat.
    I nervously checked the smokers, who had stopped talking to gawk
at him. He stepped out onto the concrete and stuck his hands in his pockets before
gaiting over. As he neared, I turned my attention back to the skyline. My mouth
dried and my heart thumped, but I wouldn’t let him know the effect he had on
me. He came close enough that I caught a whiff of something familiar. It wasn’t
natural, but it wasn’t cologne.
    “You’re married,” he said to my back.
    “Mhm.” I drew a breath. “Happily,” I added airily. I glanced back
again and his face was solemn. Marveling at the believability of his act, I twisted
to face him. Squaring my shoulders, I lifted my hands to the railing behind me
in an attempt to appear casual. “And you’re quite the Don Juan.”
    He seemed taken aback by my tone, but then an ever so slight smile
touched his lips. “You look cold, take my jacket.”
    “I’m fine,” I said, shaking my head definitively as he moved to
take it off. Never mind that I was wearing a coat of goosebumps. He paused a
moment, silent, before shrugging it back on.
    “Actually, I don’t have much time for gallivanting,” he said
finally.
    I scoffed to myself. Yeah,
right. And who says ‘gallivanting’? In an effort to show my indifference, I
shrugged. “It’s not really my business.”
    “I suppose it’s not, but . . .”
    From my gut, I yearned for him to finish his sentence, but he
looked as though he thought better of it and shook his head. “I have to run.”
    My heart fell a millimeter before I stopped it. I glimpsed over
his shoulder again at the women in the corner. They had resumed their
conversation but Andrew’s secretary – I searched to remember her name -
glanced at us warily.
    “I’d like to see you again.”
    My eyes whipped back to his and my jaw fell. “What?” I exclaimed.
Lowering my voice to a whisper, I motioned at the others on the balcony. “There
are plenty of women here – single women,” I hissed, although I had no
idea. “If you’re looking for company, I’m sure they would be much obliged.” With
the change of his expression, I regretted my tone.
    “I didn’t mean anything romantic,” he said, “just a casual thing.
You’re clearly spoken for. But believe me when I say, if that weren’t the case,
we’d be having a different conversation.” His words burned into me. The
intensity between us had never left, but it grew thicker in that moment. The
truth was that I wanted to see him again. The thought of this being our last
meeting sent a wave of dread through me, and I gripped the railing. “I should
warn you Olivia, I don’t really take rejection well. I can be very persistent.”
    I looked him over, inhaling that intoxicating scent. I wasn’t sure
if he meant it as a threat, but his words thrilled me more than anything. “A
conversation,” I repeated blankly, as though it were a new concept.
    “No funny business, I promise,” he said, offering his palms.
    Without warning, emotions that I’d been purposefully suppressing
for years surfaced, threatening to fight back. Something was tugging at the
locked door behind my ribcage. I’d never encountered an intensity like this,
and my response was foreign to me.
    If I could anticipate our meeting, at least I could manage it, I
reasoned. Overcoming him would pose a challenge, a challenge that would earn me
a gold medal in my Olympic games of self-domination. The image had me lift my
chin in anticipated glory, and I quickly swallowed the rising pang of guilt
like a pesky pill.
    “Tomorrow night,” I relented, knowing Bill would be leaving for
New York in the morning to prepare for his latest round of depositions.
    His broad chest visibly puffed as his lips crooked into a smile.
“Come to