Crashing Down by Kate McCaffrey

other, and then her mum, as Lucy knew she would, swings into action.
    â€˜You did a test?’ she asks, almost clinically.
    â€˜I did — but it was negative. I thought that was good. But nothing since. And my boobs are huge and they hurt. And I’ve been vomiting.’
    â€˜If you are, then how far along do you think you might be?’ Her mum pulls out a calendar.
    â€˜Must be six weeks. I did the test yesterday, my period was then a week late.’
    â€˜Okay’ — her mum makes some calculations — ‘we should do another one.’
    â€˜Can you get a false negative?’ Lucy feels totally despondent.
    â€˜I think so.’ Her mum shrugs. ‘I’m pretty sure you can’t get a false positive, but the other, yes, I think it happens.’
    They go to the bathroom and her mum waits outside the door. Lucy pulls out the remaining test. When she’s finished, her mum comes in and sees it sitting on the foil wrapper on the vanity.
    â€˜I see you’ve done this before,’ she says lightly.
    â€˜Only the once.’ Lucy sits on the toilet lid, her eyes already puffy from crying. ‘You must think I’m some huge slut.’
    â€˜No,’ her mum says, grabbing her hand. ‘I know you’re not. Never think that. I did wonder if you and Carl were …’ She nods her head. ‘But I didn’t want to ask. I thought if you were, you’d be using protection.’
    â€˜We were, Mum,’ Lucy says, suddenly glad to be telling someone. She hadn’t even told Lydia any of this; Lydia had guessed they’d done it but Lucy hadn’t gone into any details about her sex life. It was just too personal. ‘We only did it a few times — five — but obviously something went wrong.’
    â€˜I wish …’ her mum says, and then shakes her head. ‘Doesn’t matter now. Okay, is it time?’
    They both eye the pregnancy test warily.
    â€˜One more minute,’ Lucy says, even though she knows it’s time. But she wants one more minute of being a kid, talking to her mum like a kid, before everything changes forever. She looks away. The situation is surreal. ‘I’d been thinking I should be more careful — go on the pill.’
    Her mum frowns, thinking it through. ‘So Carl doesn’t know anything about this.’
    â€˜No. Although I’m pretty sure I know what he’d want if I was pregnant.’
    â€˜Marriage and babies?’ her mum offers.
    â€˜Yeah — that’s freaking me out too. I guess, I was feeling trapped and the idea of being with him forever was like a reality check. I knew I didn’t want that future. But then he left and I didn’t get to say any of that. And now …’ Lucy wipes her eyes. ‘This sounds like an episode of
Offspring.’
    Her mum picks up the stick.
    â€˜Mum?’ Lucy says, pleading.
    Her mum drops her bottom lip. ‘Positive.’
    They talk into the early hours of the morning. And Lucy begins to feel lighter. She has options, there are choices she can make. She knew that, but to have them spelled out for her makes the future seem possibly brighter.
    â€˜The way I see it, there are three possible decisions. Keep it.’ Her mum is ticking off her fingers. ‘Never thought I’d be a granny at forty-four — but there you go. I’ll help you financially, we’ll look at school options later. I don’t see any reason why you can’t still go to uni — maybe a little later than expected. Adoption. There are plenty of childless couples desperate for a baby. A closed adoption, so that’s it. Or abortion.’
    Lucy bites her lip. ‘I don’t know — what’s the right thing to do?’
    â€˜There’s no right thing, babe. It’s a matter of figuring out what’s really best for you and the baby. Not Carl. You have to be the priority.’
    â€˜It’s a