Crow Bait by Douglas Skelton

she saw and his voice breathing her name that she heard.

9
    DAVIE KNEW HE wouldn’t sleep again that night, the dream had seen to that. He knew what had prompted it.
    ‘I knew your faither, you know that?’ Sammy had piped up that day as they walked round the exercise yard for the final time, each enjoying the weak sunlight.
    The words always froze Davie’s blood, especially now, when his mind automatically flicked first to that face in the crowd then the photograph of his mother. But Davie liked Sammy – more than that, he respected him. He respected the way he held himself, the way he dealt with people. The only other man Davie had known who held himself in the same way, who dealt with people in the same way, was Joe Klein. Even so, he felt a tightening in his chest at the mention of Danny McCall and he did not know how to respond.
    ‘Didn’t know whether I should tell you, after what happened, like. With your maw. Wrestled with it all these years, whether to tell you.’
    Davie kept walking, staring intently at the backs of two other inmates ahead of them, just to give his eyes a focus. He was aware Sammy was studying him carefully, looking for signs of encouragement, but Davie could not let his expression betray his feelings. A small, childlike part of him desperately wanted the older man to tell him about his father, but another part wanted to hear nothing more. Finally, Sammy decided to press on. ‘He wasn’t always like that, the way he was at the end there. You know that, don’t you?’
    Davie gave a barely imperceptible nod. His dream of the day in the country was, in part, a reminder of the way Danny McCall used to be. There was another memory that Davie cherished: holidays on the Ayrshire coast, when Danny took them to a small house in Ballantrae. They were good times, happy times, bathed in Davie’s mind with the warm glow of summer. Other people saw the violent side of Danny McCall’s nature, for the work he did for Joe the Tailor was far from gentle, but in those days Mary McCall and Davie saw his loving side.
    But that was then.
    ‘He was a good man to have at your back, was Danny McCall. And a good friend. I see those qualities in you, son. Oh, he was hard, no doubt about it, and he did things that straight arrows just don’t understand. But The Life is like that, you know, eh? Makes you do things you shouldn’t, things you know are wrong, but you do them all the same. Take me, I knew I shouldn’t’ve gone on that job with that bloke tooled up, but I did. Look what happened. It was my decision, nobody forced me, and a fella lost his life. And I ended up in here, away from my wife, away from my lassie. She was thirteen when I was banged up. Went off the rails a wee bit. She’s got two kids of her own now, had the first when she was sixteen. I missed all that. I shouldn’t have missed all that. Maybe her life wouldn’t have turned out that way if I’d been there, you know? I couldn’t accept it at first, which is why I was a fuckwit in here, but eventually I realised that it was all my own fault, you know? Danny, your da, chose The Life, chose to work for Joe Klein, chose to do the things he did. Nobody forced him.’
    They walked in silence for a few moments and Davie sensed Sammy was struggling with himself over going further. Then…
    ‘And he loved your maw. Never seen a guy more loved up…’
    Davie could contain himself no longer. ‘He killed her, Sammy.’
    Sammy sighed. ‘Aye, he did. And it was terrible, we all thought so. I was inside by that time, but I read about it and guys talked about it. But see, here’s what I’m saying, or trying to say anyway – it wasn’t really him…’
    ‘It was the drink,’ said Davie, dully.
    ‘Aye, maybe. But something more, I think. Something else, deep inside him. I don’t know what you’d call it – rage, depression, evil maybe, I don’t know. I’d see it come over him, like something taking control, you know? A darkness. Don’t