get me wrong, whatever it was came in handy in his work, ‘cos that’s what set him apart from the other hard men, the chib men, the gun men. And the more it took over, the stronger it got. See, when I knew your dad, he never drank, never touched a drop. Maybe a beer now and then, he wasn’t fuckin temperance, but the hard stuff wasn’t for him. So, what I think is, he drank to keep whatever it was inside him down, you know what I’m saying? Shit, it’s no like he was possessed or anything like that…’
But Davie thought differently. He had seen something inhuman in Danny McCall’s eyes the night he had beaten his mother to death. Something cold. Something not quite right. He was drunk, it seemed he had been drunk every night for weeks, but it wasn’t just the liquor. Something had taken hold of him that night and possession is as good a word as any, even if he wasn’t vomiting pea soup or spinning his head.
Sammy concluded, ‘… but I always knew there was something eating away at him. And the drink didn’t keep it down, didn’t help at all, just made it worse. Fed it. So sure, it was your dad that did it, that killed your maw, but it wasn’t really him, you know what I’m sayin? It was this dark thing that had finally taken over.’
Davie nodded. He agreed with Sammy, but it did not make him feel any better about it. ‘So why you telling me this, Sammy?’
Sammy stopped and shook a cigarette from a packet of Benson and Hedges. He struck a match against the stone wall beside him and cupped the flame in his hands as he lit up. Davie waited as Sammy took a deep drag and blew a cloud of smoke upwards. The older man looked at him then blinked, and Davie knew that though some of this was difficult for him to listen to, it wasn’t easy for Sammy to say either.
Sammy sucked at the cigarette once more. ‘Because I’ve been talking to some people about you, son, people that knew you, or knew of you, on the outside. You’re a good mate, a good man to have at your back, just like him. But you know what worries me? That you’ve got the dark thing inside you, too. I’ve spoken to boys that have seen you in action, son. They say that something happens to you, they saw it. And what they told me, I’ve seen, too. In your dad.’
‘I’m not like him. I’ll never be like him.’
‘I hope you’re right, Davie, I really do. That’s why I’m saying this. You need to watch out for it. It’s a sneaky bastard, this dark thing. You think it’s your pal, but it’s not. You think it’s a handy tool, but it’s not. It’s like fuckin heroin: once it gets a hold of you, you’re lost. Unless you’re stronger than it is. So here’s what I’m sayin. You’re getting out tomorrow and like as not you’ll go right back to your pals and The Life. And because you’re Danny McCall’s boy, they’ll find a use for you, just like Joe Klein did… oh, I know he was an okay guy and he taught you all they rules an’ that – don’t hurt women, or animals, don’t involve civilians – and they’re all well and good but see, it’s a different world out there now. Drugs have changed it. Used to be there was a focus to the violence, but now? Now anyone’s fair game. And a boy like you, with what I think is inside you? They’re going to want you, they’re gonnae want what’s inside you. And the more you tap into the darkness, the stronger it becomes. It happened to your dad, it can happen to you. Don’t let it. You have a choice, son. You’ve already lost that lassie to it, that one I hear you muttering about in your sleep. Don’t lose everything else.’
Sammy paused to let his words sink in, but he wasn’t finished. ‘When the devil comes knocking, you get two choices. You either let him in, or you tell that red-skinned, horned fucker to get the hell away.’
As Davie lay in his bunk on his last night inside, he thought about Sammy’s words. He knew the world had changed in the ten years he had been
But Davie thought differently. He had seen something inhuman in Danny McCall’s eyes the night he had beaten his mother to death. Something cold. Something not quite right. He was drunk, it seemed he had been drunk every night for weeks, but it wasn’t just the liquor. Something had taken hold of him that night and possession is as good a word as any, even if he wasn’t vomiting pea soup or spinning his head.
Sammy concluded, ‘… but I always knew there was something eating away at him. And the drink didn’t keep it down, didn’t help at all, just made it worse. Fed it. So sure, it was your dad that did it, that killed your maw, but it wasn’t really him, you know what I’m sayin? It was this dark thing that had finally taken over.’
Davie nodded. He agreed with Sammy, but it did not make him feel any better about it. ‘So why you telling me this, Sammy?’
Sammy stopped and shook a cigarette from a packet of Benson and Hedges. He struck a match against the stone wall beside him and cupped the flame in his hands as he lit up. Davie waited as Sammy took a deep drag and blew a cloud of smoke upwards. The older man looked at him then blinked, and Davie knew that though some of this was difficult for him to listen to, it wasn’t easy for Sammy to say either.
Sammy sucked at the cigarette once more. ‘Because I’ve been talking to some people about you, son, people that knew you, or knew of you, on the outside. You’re a good mate, a good man to have at your back, just like him. But you know what worries me? That you’ve got the dark thing inside you, too. I’ve spoken to boys that have seen you in action, son. They say that something happens to you, they saw it. And what they told me, I’ve seen, too. In your dad.’
‘I’m not like him. I’ll never be like him.’
‘I hope you’re right, Davie, I really do. That’s why I’m saying this. You need to watch out for it. It’s a sneaky bastard, this dark thing. You think it’s your pal, but it’s not. You think it’s a handy tool, but it’s not. It’s like fuckin heroin: once it gets a hold of you, you’re lost. Unless you’re stronger than it is. So here’s what I’m sayin. You’re getting out tomorrow and like as not you’ll go right back to your pals and The Life. And because you’re Danny McCall’s boy, they’ll find a use for you, just like Joe Klein did… oh, I know he was an okay guy and he taught you all they rules an’ that – don’t hurt women, or animals, don’t involve civilians – and they’re all well and good but see, it’s a different world out there now. Drugs have changed it. Used to be there was a focus to the violence, but now? Now anyone’s fair game. And a boy like you, with what I think is inside you? They’re going to want you, they’re gonnae want what’s inside you. And the more you tap into the darkness, the stronger it becomes. It happened to your dad, it can happen to you. Don’t let it. You have a choice, son. You’ve already lost that lassie to it, that one I hear you muttering about in your sleep. Don’t lose everything else.’
Sammy paused to let his words sink in, but he wasn’t finished. ‘When the devil comes knocking, you get two choices. You either let him in, or you tell that red-skinned, horned fucker to get the hell away.’
As Davie lay in his bunk on his last night inside, he thought about Sammy’s words. He knew the world had changed in the ten years he had been
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