cannot acknowledge we
hold them,” said the spider commander. “There would be too many
repercussions.”
“ Word of failure will leak
out,” said Mr. Kennworth. “It always does. You had better start
thinking of an exit strategy, should your deprogramming plans fail.
You promised to negotiate with the Legion to get Carlos back. I did
my part. I am holding you to your promise.”
“ Don’t even think about
killing them as an exit strategy,” warned the commando. “I won’t
let that happen. This has to end soon.”
* * * * *
Four days into his hunger strike, Private
Krueger went into shock due to dehydration. Spider doctors, using
the database as a reference, did the best they could to force-feed
Private Krueger nutrients through tubes. Strapped to a table,
Private Krueger could no longer resist. Dawn’s hunger strike
progressed more slowly. She could go a month without eating or
drinking. Dawn gave her tormentors the silent treatment. That had
more of an effect.
After about a week, an anonymous caller
informed the Legion and the news media of Dawn and Willie’s fate.
Armored Legion reinforcements and air support were rushed to New
Gobi City. I called the spider commander on the phone to discuss
the matter. “The Legion is prepared to go to war over the abduction
of Private Krueger,” I threatened. “You can keep Dawn.”
“ That won’t work,”
interrupted Major Lopez, behind me. “Dawn is an American citizen.
We must demand her return, too.”
“ Fine,” I said, turning my
attention back to the spider commander on the phone. “We want Dawn
back, too – or else!”
“ I will release both those
young fools only if you release your hostage Carlos O’Neil,”
replied the spider commander.
“ I want the name of the spy
the terrorist O’Neil was delivering the explosives to,” I
demanded.
“ They want iced tea in
Hell,” replied the spider commander. “How does it feel to
want?”
“ Fine,” I said. “In the
interest of peaceful coexistence, I will agree to the trade. But I
am warning you. No more alien abductions.”
* * * * *
“ Do you Dawn, take this
man, to honor and cherish, in sickness and in health, for as long
as you both shall live?” asked Pastor Jim.
“ I do,” gushed
Dawn.
“ And do you Private Willie
Krueger, take Dawn, an old-fashioned traditional female, to love
and cherish, in sickness and in health, on probation or in custody,
and promise to measure up to the best of your ability under the
threat of painful death, for as long as you are allowed to live?”
asked Pastor Jim.
“ Yes, I do,” promised
Private Krueger.
“ Then under the power
granted by almighty God, and the United States Galactic Federation
Foreign Legion, and the Church of Scientology, and Hell’s Angles
Club #24, and The New Gobi County Probation and Parole Board /
Narcotics Task Force, I pronounce you husband and wife,” said
Pastor Jim. “You may kiss.”
Dawn and Willie ran under the crossed swords
of a Legion honor guard to a waiting Legion armored car. Channel
Five World News Tonight with Phil Coen broadcast the wedding event
across the galaxy. Donations, big and small, for their
happy-ever-after fairytale marriage poured in from sponsors on both
Earth and Arthropoda. Guido handled the accounting. The lovely
couple honeymooned at Harrah’s Casino & Hotel Resort on Mars.
All expenses were paid by General Daly and the Legion.
The spider commander attended the Kruegers’
wedding after receiving an invitation card. He declined to comment
to Channel Five World News Tonight with Phil Coen regarding rumors
of Dawn and Willie being abducted by the Arthropodan military. The
spider commander insisted Dawn voluntarily participate in free
marriage counseling similar to that offered by human pestilence
cult leader, Pastor Jim. The military commander publicly announced
his personal best wishes and nothing but happiness for the
newlyweds, forever after.
back to
hold them,” said the spider commander. “There would be too many
repercussions.”
“ Word of failure will leak
out,” said Mr. Kennworth. “It always does. You had better start
thinking of an exit strategy, should your deprogramming plans fail.
You promised to negotiate with the Legion to get Carlos back. I did
my part. I am holding you to your promise.”
“ Don’t even think about
killing them as an exit strategy,” warned the commando. “I won’t
let that happen. This has to end soon.”
* * * * *
Four days into his hunger strike, Private
Krueger went into shock due to dehydration. Spider doctors, using
the database as a reference, did the best they could to force-feed
Private Krueger nutrients through tubes. Strapped to a table,
Private Krueger could no longer resist. Dawn’s hunger strike
progressed more slowly. She could go a month without eating or
drinking. Dawn gave her tormentors the silent treatment. That had
more of an effect.
After about a week, an anonymous caller
informed the Legion and the news media of Dawn and Willie’s fate.
Armored Legion reinforcements and air support were rushed to New
Gobi City. I called the spider commander on the phone to discuss
the matter. “The Legion is prepared to go to war over the abduction
of Private Krueger,” I threatened. “You can keep Dawn.”
“ That won’t work,”
interrupted Major Lopez, behind me. “Dawn is an American citizen.
We must demand her return, too.”
“ Fine,” I said, turning my
attention back to the spider commander on the phone. “We want Dawn
back, too – or else!”
“ I will release both those
young fools only if you release your hostage Carlos O’Neil,”
replied the spider commander.
“ I want the name of the spy
the terrorist O’Neil was delivering the explosives to,” I
demanded.
“ They want iced tea in
Hell,” replied the spider commander. “How does it feel to
want?”
“ Fine,” I said. “In the
interest of peaceful coexistence, I will agree to the trade. But I
am warning you. No more alien abductions.”
* * * * *
“ Do you Dawn, take this
man, to honor and cherish, in sickness and in health, for as long
as you both shall live?” asked Pastor Jim.
“ I do,” gushed
Dawn.
“ And do you Private Willie
Krueger, take Dawn, an old-fashioned traditional female, to love
and cherish, in sickness and in health, on probation or in custody,
and promise to measure up to the best of your ability under the
threat of painful death, for as long as you are allowed to live?”
asked Pastor Jim.
“ Yes, I do,” promised
Private Krueger.
“ Then under the power
granted by almighty God, and the United States Galactic Federation
Foreign Legion, and the Church of Scientology, and Hell’s Angles
Club #24, and The New Gobi County Probation and Parole Board /
Narcotics Task Force, I pronounce you husband and wife,” said
Pastor Jim. “You may kiss.”
Dawn and Willie ran under the crossed swords
of a Legion honor guard to a waiting Legion armored car. Channel
Five World News Tonight with Phil Coen broadcast the wedding event
across the galaxy. Donations, big and small, for their
happy-ever-after fairytale marriage poured in from sponsors on both
Earth and Arthropoda. Guido handled the accounting. The lovely
couple honeymooned at Harrah’s Casino & Hotel Resort on Mars.
All expenses were paid by General Daly and the Legion.
The spider commander attended the Kruegers’
wedding after receiving an invitation card. He declined to comment
to Channel Five World News Tonight with Phil Coen regarding rumors
of Dawn and Willie being abducted by the Arthropodan military. The
spider commander insisted Dawn voluntarily participate in free
marriage counseling similar to that offered by human pestilence
cult leader, Pastor Jim. The military commander publicly announced
his personal best wishes and nothing but happiness for the
newlyweds, forever after.
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