JJ’s bedroom to check on the baby before going to bed themselves. As they gazed at the boy, she admitted something she’d never mentioned before to anyone: She was so certain that JJ was the most beautiful child in the world that whenever she chatted with the other neighborhood mothers at the playground across the street, she couldn’t help but wonder why someone had never remarked about it.
“It’s so obvious,” she’d said to Jack.
To her surprise, Jack’s response had been to break out in a guffaw so loud she had to caution him not to wake the baby. It wasn’t until they had ducked out into the hall that Jack explained his reaction. By then Laurie was indignant, feeling as if Jack was making fun of her.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Your comment tickles my funny bone. Don’t you realize that all the mothers feel exactly the same?”
Laurie’s indignation faded rapidly, as did her frown.
“A mother’s love must be somewhere in our genome,” Jack had continued.
“Otherwise we as a species would never have made it through the ice age.”
Snapping herself back to the present, Laurie became aware that she wasn’t alone in JJ’s room. Turning her head, she found herself staring into Jack’s shadowed face. All she could really see were the whites of his eyes, although there was enough light to appreciate that he was buck naked.
“You’re up early,” Jack said. He knew Laurie liked to sleep late, and it was part of the Stapleton routine for him to get up first, shower, and then nudge Laurie out of bed. “Are you all right?”
“Nervous,” Laurie admitted. “Very nervous!”
“What on earth about?” Jack questioned. “Leaving JJ with Leticia Wilson?” Leticia 31
Wilson was a cousin of Warren Wilson, one of the local men with whom Jack regularly played basketball. Warren had suggested her to Jack one recent afternoon when Jack had mentioned they were looking for a nanny so that Laurie could go back to work.
“That’s part of it,” Laurie admitted.
“But you said these last few days that you’ve had your so-called dry run and that things had gone terrifically.”
Laurie had asked Leticia to come for two days, take JJ, feed him, take him out to the park, both the local playground and Central Park, and keep him until the time Laurie guessed she’d generally be getting home from OCME. There had been no problems, and best of all, both JJ and Leticia had taken to each other and had demonstrably enjoyed themselves.
“Everything went well,” Laurie admitted, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel guilty about the situation. I know I’m going to suffer the maternal quandary, meaning that when I’m here with JJ, I feel guilty about not working, but today, while I’ll be working, I’m going to feel guilty about not being home. JJ is going to miss his mommy just like Mommy is going to miss JJ. Also, even though he’s been symptom-free for over a year, I’m continually worried he’s going to relapse.
I guess I’m always going to be a little superstitious that the continuance of his recovery has something to do mystically with my presence.”
“I suppose that is understandable,” Jack said. “What’s the other part of your nervousness? It’s not anything about OCME personnel, is it? I mean, everyone is looking forward to your return, and I do mean everyone, from Bingham all the way down to the security personnel. Everyone I run into has said something about looking forward to your return today.”
“Really?” Laurie questioned with disbelief. She thought it had to be a gross exaggeration, especially including Bingham, whom she was aware she addled on occasion with her independence and doggedness.
“Really!” Jack echoed spiritedly. “You are one of the most popular people at OCME. If you are nervous, it can’t be about fitting back into the team. It has to be about something else.”
“Well, maybe you are right,” Laurie admitted reluctantly.
“It’s so obvious,” she’d said to Jack.
To her surprise, Jack’s response had been to break out in a guffaw so loud she had to caution him not to wake the baby. It wasn’t until they had ducked out into the hall that Jack explained his reaction. By then Laurie was indignant, feeling as if Jack was making fun of her.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Your comment tickles my funny bone. Don’t you realize that all the mothers feel exactly the same?”
Laurie’s indignation faded rapidly, as did her frown.
“A mother’s love must be somewhere in our genome,” Jack had continued.
“Otherwise we as a species would never have made it through the ice age.”
Snapping herself back to the present, Laurie became aware that she wasn’t alone in JJ’s room. Turning her head, she found herself staring into Jack’s shadowed face. All she could really see were the whites of his eyes, although there was enough light to appreciate that he was buck naked.
“You’re up early,” Jack said. He knew Laurie liked to sleep late, and it was part of the Stapleton routine for him to get up first, shower, and then nudge Laurie out of bed. “Are you all right?”
“Nervous,” Laurie admitted. “Very nervous!”
“What on earth about?” Jack questioned. “Leaving JJ with Leticia Wilson?” Leticia 31
Wilson was a cousin of Warren Wilson, one of the local men with whom Jack regularly played basketball. Warren had suggested her to Jack one recent afternoon when Jack had mentioned they were looking for a nanny so that Laurie could go back to work.
“That’s part of it,” Laurie admitted.
“But you said these last few days that you’ve had your so-called dry run and that things had gone terrifically.”
Laurie had asked Leticia to come for two days, take JJ, feed him, take him out to the park, both the local playground and Central Park, and keep him until the time Laurie guessed she’d generally be getting home from OCME. There had been no problems, and best of all, both JJ and Leticia had taken to each other and had demonstrably enjoyed themselves.
“Everything went well,” Laurie admitted, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel guilty about the situation. I know I’m going to suffer the maternal quandary, meaning that when I’m here with JJ, I feel guilty about not working, but today, while I’ll be working, I’m going to feel guilty about not being home. JJ is going to miss his mommy just like Mommy is going to miss JJ. Also, even though he’s been symptom-free for over a year, I’m continually worried he’s going to relapse.
I guess I’m always going to be a little superstitious that the continuance of his recovery has something to do mystically with my presence.”
“I suppose that is understandable,” Jack said. “What’s the other part of your nervousness? It’s not anything about OCME personnel, is it? I mean, everyone is looking forward to your return, and I do mean everyone, from Bingham all the way down to the security personnel. Everyone I run into has said something about looking forward to your return today.”
“Really?” Laurie questioned with disbelief. She thought it had to be a gross exaggeration, especially including Bingham, whom she was aware she addled on occasion with her independence and doggedness.
“Really!” Jack echoed spiritedly. “You are one of the most popular people at OCME. If you are nervous, it can’t be about fitting back into the team. It has to be about something else.”
“Well, maybe you are right,” Laurie admitted reluctantly.
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