Cure for the Common Universe by Christian McKay Heidicker Page A

what everyone in that circle thought about themselves.
    â€œMiles,” Fezzik said, “do you want to tell us the tale of how you came to Video Horizons?”
    Aurora and Soup turned to me.
    â€œMy name is, um . . . Miles Prower. I’ve been a gamer my entire life, but I’ve been playing Arcadia for about two years.” Fezzik gave a grunt of acknowledgment. “Sometimes as much as, uh, five hours a day. But I’m done with that now. Because . . . well . . .”
    I studied my guildmates. The non-player characters who would help me escape. If I could make it out of there in time for my date, then I could show G-man, my dad, and all of the girls at my school that I wasn’t like these weirdo gamer inmates. That I actually did deserve to go out with someone as lovely as Serena.
    â€œI need to get out of here as soon as possible,” I said. “See, I made a girl laugh for the first time today. My stepmom asked me to wash her Xterra, so I went to the car wash, and I met this cute girl there. Apparently some dickhead had sprayed her with one of the, um, sprayers, so . . .”
    I told them the story. Or, at least, a version of the story.
    When I finished, Meeki looked up from her cross-stitch and gave me a poisonous look. “So, what, your princess is in another castle, and you gotta go save her?”
    What the hell? Did Meeki have to eat someone’s heart every day in order to survive or something?
    â€œIt wasn’t like that,” I said. “She was interesting . . . and interested. And she wasn’t wearing a pink dress.”
    Soup laughed. A little too hard.
    Meeki crossed her arms tight and narrowed her eyes.
    â€œAnd what was this fair maiden’s name?” Fezzik asked.
    Meeki cleared her throat. “We don’t know if she’s fair or a maiden.”
    Fezzik chuckled uncomfortably.
    â€œUh . . .” I thought about patient confidentiality. I thought about my exaggerated story of how she and I had met. I thought about how she had drawn me in. . . .
    â€œHer name was Gravity,” I said.
    Meeki snorted.
    â€œGravity,” Fezzik said. “Excellent. Thanks for sharing, Miles.”
    He didn’t say anything about trying to get me out of there as quickly as possible so that I could get to my date. Instead he tried to nudge some life into the electric warlock. “Greetings, Zxzord! I think that’s what you said your name was. Heh-heh. Would you like to share the tale of what brought you to Video Horizons?”
    Zxzord rubbed his face like he was just waking up. He wiped his nose, cleared his throat, and spoke for the first time. “Heroin.”
    Meeki laughed so hard, it made Soup jump. The sound made Zxzord cradle his head again. Meeki’s laughter trailed off. In the ensuing silence Zxzord dropped his hands andtook in our shocked expressions with raw eyes. He spoke in his undead warlock voice. “Every time I went into my room to shoot up, I told my parents I was playing video games.” He sniffed. “So they sent me here.”
    Everyone in the circle shifted their limbs, as if one of his frayed wire tattoos could lash out and electrocute us. Holy shit. While we’d all chased digital dragons, Zxzord had actually been chasing the dragon .
    â€œMaybe Mario mushrooms are a gateway drug,” Meeki said, and snorted.
    Zxzord pressed his palms into his eyes. “I don’t know why more people don’t just kill themselves.”
    Fezzik grew red and made a sound like a Wookiee. “Heh-heh. Sounds like someone needs a health potion! Um, uh, let’s get you to G-man’s office, shall we?”
    He helped Zxzord to his feet while the Fury Burds dispersed around the Nest. Meeki worked the punching bag, Aurora continued cross-stitching what looked like a dog with leprosy, and Soup whipped sheets off two of the bunks.
    Again, I stood there like