was always smoking hot. I bet he looks great in uniform.”
Belle’s heart skipped a beat. “So what? Good looking guys are a dime a dozen.”
Actually, guys as good looking as Jackson were about as rare as polar bears in the desert, but admitting that wouldn’t help Belle’s case or soothe her hurt feelings. She and Mariah were different, no doubt about it, but she’d told Mariah everything when she’d come back to the island – every soul-crushing detail.
Mariah shrugged. “You deserve a little fun, after what you’ve been through. And you’ve already been with him, so you know it’d be good. Seems ideal to me.”
“Casual sex isn’t my idea of fun.”
Mariah arched a brow. “Not even with a hot cop like Jackson? You were into him for years. Don’t you think it’d be fun to sleep with him again now that you’re more experienced? I bet it’d be even better than before.”
“ Especially not with Jackson. If I slept with him and things went bad after that, my only good memories with a guy would be ruined.”
“So you’re going to avoid the only guy who’s ever made you happy just so he can’t have the chance to mess up?” Mariah’s brow rose even higher.
Belle bit her lip. “No, not necessarily. But before I sleep with anyone, I want to be sure they’re worth taking the risk on – that it means something to them.”
Mariah dropped her gaze. “Right – I can see that.”
Belle fidgeted in her seat, shifting to an even less comfortable position on the couch cushion. She hated talking about her last relationship. Any feelings she’d had for her ex-fiancé were long dead, but it seemed as if the embarrassment would never die.
Sometimes, when she closed her eyes at night, she remembered the sting of calling her parents and telling them the wedding was off. It’d been the single most humiliating conversation of her life – even worse than the one where she’d confronted her unfaithful fiancé.
Kyle. Belle had dated him for over a year back in Atlanta. She’d also agreed when he’d asked her to marry him, only to later find out that he’d been screwing other women regularly throughout their entire relationship. When she’d confronted him he hadn’t seemed sorry, only annoyed that she’d found out.
She’d been a joke to him, and she’d taken it so seriously. Meanwhile, he’d been getting casual on a regular basis.
How could she have been so blind?
“I know you hate talking about it,” Mariah said.
“Wouldn’t you?” Bell’s reply came out sharper than she’d meant it to.
Mariah blinked. “Well, yeah—”
Remorse started to creep in, and Belle shook her head. “Never mind. Sorry I snapped.”
“It’s okay. I’d have my panties in a bunch too if I was being stalked.” Mariah grinned.
“Right – the big green dildo is to blame for my bitchiness.” Belle couldn’t help grinning back.
“Seriously though, you’re right – you’ve been messed around with too much. I don’t blame you for not wanting anything casual.”
Belle nodded. “I think He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named soured me on casual, probably for life.”
Mariah agreed, though neither of them spoke his name – they had a standing agreement not to.
“You dodged a bullet anyway,” Mariah said. “Who wants to be married to a product developer? I don’t even know what that means, but it makes me think of pastel shirts and dorky ties. Give me a hot man in uniform any day.”
Belle smiled despite herself. She had dodged a bullet. As humiliating and hurtful as breaking off her engagement with Kyle had been, marrying him and finding out afterward would’ve been a thousand times worse.
“Jackson is hot,” she admitted, “but we never had anything more than sex, and casual just isn’t for me anymore.”
“You were friends, too. And how do you know his feelings for you are casual?”
Belle shrugged. “We had sex twice in one night. That was it. Not exactly a foundation for the kind of love that
Belle’s heart skipped a beat. “So what? Good looking guys are a dime a dozen.”
Actually, guys as good looking as Jackson were about as rare as polar bears in the desert, but admitting that wouldn’t help Belle’s case or soothe her hurt feelings. She and Mariah were different, no doubt about it, but she’d told Mariah everything when she’d come back to the island – every soul-crushing detail.
Mariah shrugged. “You deserve a little fun, after what you’ve been through. And you’ve already been with him, so you know it’d be good. Seems ideal to me.”
“Casual sex isn’t my idea of fun.”
Mariah arched a brow. “Not even with a hot cop like Jackson? You were into him for years. Don’t you think it’d be fun to sleep with him again now that you’re more experienced? I bet it’d be even better than before.”
“ Especially not with Jackson. If I slept with him and things went bad after that, my only good memories with a guy would be ruined.”
“So you’re going to avoid the only guy who’s ever made you happy just so he can’t have the chance to mess up?” Mariah’s brow rose even higher.
Belle bit her lip. “No, not necessarily. But before I sleep with anyone, I want to be sure they’re worth taking the risk on – that it means something to them.”
Mariah dropped her gaze. “Right – I can see that.”
Belle fidgeted in her seat, shifting to an even less comfortable position on the couch cushion. She hated talking about her last relationship. Any feelings she’d had for her ex-fiancé were long dead, but it seemed as if the embarrassment would never die.
Sometimes, when she closed her eyes at night, she remembered the sting of calling her parents and telling them the wedding was off. It’d been the single most humiliating conversation of her life – even worse than the one where she’d confronted her unfaithful fiancé.
Kyle. Belle had dated him for over a year back in Atlanta. She’d also agreed when he’d asked her to marry him, only to later find out that he’d been screwing other women regularly throughout their entire relationship. When she’d confronted him he hadn’t seemed sorry, only annoyed that she’d found out.
She’d been a joke to him, and she’d taken it so seriously. Meanwhile, he’d been getting casual on a regular basis.
How could she have been so blind?
“I know you hate talking about it,” Mariah said.
“Wouldn’t you?” Bell’s reply came out sharper than she’d meant it to.
Mariah blinked. “Well, yeah—”
Remorse started to creep in, and Belle shook her head. “Never mind. Sorry I snapped.”
“It’s okay. I’d have my panties in a bunch too if I was being stalked.” Mariah grinned.
“Right – the big green dildo is to blame for my bitchiness.” Belle couldn’t help grinning back.
“Seriously though, you’re right – you’ve been messed around with too much. I don’t blame you for not wanting anything casual.”
Belle nodded. “I think He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named soured me on casual, probably for life.”
Mariah agreed, though neither of them spoke his name – they had a standing agreement not to.
“You dodged a bullet anyway,” Mariah said. “Who wants to be married to a product developer? I don’t even know what that means, but it makes me think of pastel shirts and dorky ties. Give me a hot man in uniform any day.”
Belle smiled despite herself. She had dodged a bullet. As humiliating and hurtful as breaking off her engagement with Kyle had been, marrying him and finding out afterward would’ve been a thousand times worse.
“Jackson is hot,” she admitted, “but we never had anything more than sex, and casual just isn’t for me anymore.”
“You were friends, too. And how do you know his feelings for you are casual?”
Belle shrugged. “We had sex twice in one night. That was it. Not exactly a foundation for the kind of love that
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