Katherine, make yourself comfortable. Are you sure you don’t want coffee?”
“No, I’m fine,” I answered quickly, showing my impatience with the formalities. I started to spew out all I had learned so fast, she couldn’t keep up on her note pad. I knew she was a little frustrated at the speed of my talking. I hadn’t given her a chance to sit down and open my file before the flood of words began; but she never reprimanded me. She could sense how important it was for me to get it out. When I finished and sat across from her, breathless from my effort, she sat quietly and looked over her notes for a few minutes. I couldn’t help but wonder and worry that this was all news to her as well, and she would be of no help whatsoever. Finally she looked up and met my gaze.
“Katherine, would you like to see the pictures that Evie drew for me?”
I moved closer and nodded like someone trying to get a glimpse at a secret.
“Yes, please.”
Dr. Anna opened her thick folder to the front where I assumed our visits had begun, and she pulled out several pieces of paper that obviously had the drawings of a child on them. I soaked them in, trying to examine every detail for clues. In one, Evie had colored almost the entire page black with the exception of a stick drawing in a box, and there were tears coming from the face. I was positive the stick figure was Evie, and I decided the box was probably the closet from my dreams. Another picture had two bigger stick figures, who I felt were her parents. One seemed like a male and the other I assumed was female because it was slightly smaller than the other one and had a triangle that was possibly a dress. The bigger of them had a circle fist at the end of its arm and was hitting the smaller one, who had tears and I guess blood coming from its face. Tears were blue and blood was red, of course. Some of the pictures I wasn’t sure what they meant yet, but all included tears and most had blood.
“This poor little girl must have had a terrible childhood, I remarked.”
Again, she made notes in the folder, but gave me no hint of her opinion of what I had said. I realized I had spoken of Evie as if she were someone else and not me. Was that what she made a note of? I wondered. When I came to the last three pictures, they seemed to be of Evie when she was a little older. The stick person was longer and had brown hair instead of yellow, but she had the same blue dots for eyes. I just knew it was still Evie. One of the pictures was Evie being held under water by a set of hands, another appeared to be Evie lying down and a monster with big teeth was over her. There were words in that picture. The words were tiny, as if she didn’t really want them seen. “It hurts,” was all it said. The last picture gave me that same sick feeling I had experienced when my mother had mentioned how my parents died. It was a picture of Evie surrounded by fire, and in the flames a pair of blue eyes looked at her. I started to cry without realizing it.
“Do you know why you are crying, Katherine?” Dr. Anna sounded almost pleased at my reaction, as if my crying was what she had hoped for.
“It just seems so sad to me that Evie had to suffer at the hands of her parents.”
Dr. Anna handed me the box of tissues from the table and allowed me a few minutes to gather my thoughts.
“It’s the first time you have wept for Evie in our sessions. When you came to me as a child, you were so filled with anger and sadness you couldn’t put any of it in words, so the drawings helped you tell what happened.”
“What exactly did happen to me, Dr. Anna?”
She seemed to show an expression of sympathy for the first time since we started our sessions. Actually, it was one of the first expressions she had made at all.
“I don’t know what happened to you, Katherine. When the police investigated the fire, there was no evidence to explain why it happened.
“No, I’m fine,” I answered quickly, showing my impatience with the formalities. I started to spew out all I had learned so fast, she couldn’t keep up on her note pad. I knew she was a little frustrated at the speed of my talking. I hadn’t given her a chance to sit down and open my file before the flood of words began; but she never reprimanded me. She could sense how important it was for me to get it out. When I finished and sat across from her, breathless from my effort, she sat quietly and looked over her notes for a few minutes. I couldn’t help but wonder and worry that this was all news to her as well, and she would be of no help whatsoever. Finally she looked up and met my gaze.
“Katherine, would you like to see the pictures that Evie drew for me?”
I moved closer and nodded like someone trying to get a glimpse at a secret.
“Yes, please.”
Dr. Anna opened her thick folder to the front where I assumed our visits had begun, and she pulled out several pieces of paper that obviously had the drawings of a child on them. I soaked them in, trying to examine every detail for clues. In one, Evie had colored almost the entire page black with the exception of a stick drawing in a box, and there were tears coming from the face. I was positive the stick figure was Evie, and I decided the box was probably the closet from my dreams. Another picture had two bigger stick figures, who I felt were her parents. One seemed like a male and the other I assumed was female because it was slightly smaller than the other one and had a triangle that was possibly a dress. The bigger of them had a circle fist at the end of its arm and was hitting the smaller one, who had tears and I guess blood coming from its face. Tears were blue and blood was red, of course. Some of the pictures I wasn’t sure what they meant yet, but all included tears and most had blood.
“This poor little girl must have had a terrible childhood, I remarked.”
Again, she made notes in the folder, but gave me no hint of her opinion of what I had said. I realized I had spoken of Evie as if she were someone else and not me. Was that what she made a note of? I wondered. When I came to the last three pictures, they seemed to be of Evie when she was a little older. The stick person was longer and had brown hair instead of yellow, but she had the same blue dots for eyes. I just knew it was still Evie. One of the pictures was Evie being held under water by a set of hands, another appeared to be Evie lying down and a monster with big teeth was over her. There were words in that picture. The words were tiny, as if she didn’t really want them seen. “It hurts,” was all it said. The last picture gave me that same sick feeling I had experienced when my mother had mentioned how my parents died. It was a picture of Evie surrounded by fire, and in the flames a pair of blue eyes looked at her. I started to cry without realizing it.
“Do you know why you are crying, Katherine?” Dr. Anna sounded almost pleased at my reaction, as if my crying was what she had hoped for.
“It just seems so sad to me that Evie had to suffer at the hands of her parents.”
Dr. Anna handed me the box of tissues from the table and allowed me a few minutes to gather my thoughts.
“It’s the first time you have wept for Evie in our sessions. When you came to me as a child, you were so filled with anger and sadness you couldn’t put any of it in words, so the drawings helped you tell what happened.”
“What exactly did happen to me, Dr. Anna?”
She seemed to show an expression of sympathy for the first time since we started our sessions. Actually, it was one of the first expressions she had made at all.
“I don’t know what happened to you, Katherine. When the police investigated the fire, there was no evidence to explain why it happened.
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