Deep by Bates A.L.

through his panic attack. He rubbed Sean’s back, trying to encourage him to calm down. Slowly, it worked. He felt Sean’s body surrender into him. His sobbing stopped, but he was still teetering on the edge of another breakdown.
    “That’s it, you’re doing great. You’re doing great, Sean.”
    “I’m sorry, Captain,” Sean said between sobs. “I’m so, so sorry.”
    “Hey, you’ve got nothing to be sorry about.” He rested his forehead on Sean’s. “I should be the one apologizing.”
    Tenderly, Joel touched the bruising on Sean’s neck. He didn’t need to ask how he got it. How many of Sean’s whimpers had been in pain? All that noise, all that time, and Joel had ignored it.
    “I’ll be fine,” Sean said—a transparent lie. “I just need a moment. It’s difficult and I... I’ll go back in a minute.”
    “Over my dead body. You hear me, Sean? You’re not going back to him.”
    “I have to.”
    “I won’t let you. I don’t need you to do this. I never needed you to do this.”
    Sean glanced away; there was something detached about his focus. “You don’t understand. I know him, and if I don’t he’ll....” Sean stopped.
    “He’ll what? Try to back me into a corner? Well, let him. I’m a fight he’s not going to win.”
    “It’s not just you. He’ll go after someone else if he doesn’t get what he wants.”
    “Let him; I’ll make sure he regrets it. You stay here. I’m going to have a chat with our unwelcome guest.”
    Sean grabbed him. “No, please don’t.” He closed his eyes, his body starting to tremble again.
    “What is it, Sean? What’s he got on you?” Joel was getting frustrated.
    Sean shook his head.
    “Look, I don’t care what you did. I don’t care what happened before you got on this boat. Nobody does. If you tell me now, then that asshole has no hold over you and we can sort this out together.”
    Sean wiped his face. “If I tell you, there’s no way you’ll keep me on board.”
    “Try me. I feel a rare moment of reason and understanding might be about to overtake me.”
    Sean pulled out of Joel’s grip and huddled his knees to his chest. He kept his eyes fixed on the door, as if he couldn’t bring himself to look at Joel.
    “Honestly, you can tell me anything and I promise it will change nothing between us. You will always have a place on this boat.”
    It took a moment, but eventually Sean opened up. “The money I took. It wasn’t stolen, exactly. It was payment. Payment for services. My services. My father had debts; he always said it was because he put me through medical school, but he was a gambler, and I, well, I was a pretty face. The first time it happened it was by chance. I met a guy at a party my father was hosting. We slept together, and the next day the money my father owed him was forgotten about.”
    “He whored you out.” Joel ground his teeth—another reason to add to his dislike of rich Earth folk.
    “Not at first, but then it was like it was expected of me. My father was an opportunist. He realized he could get all the power, anything he ever wanted. And, well, I got... I got a reputation. A bad reputation. I was expected to just lay down, even when I didn’t want to. I couldn’t fight. I couldn’t stop. Whoever wanted me paid my father and I was theirs for the night, then up for my shift the following morning. He made so much money off me. There was no way I could live a normal life, so I figured that, given the money should have been mine in the first place, I should take everything I could. It took two months to get everything I needed. Not just money but favors, too. David helped.”
    “And I bet you paid him well for his troubles.”
    “With more than money. When I was my father’s whore I had no control, but then I started doing those things myself. Things I’m so ashamed of. I let things happen to me that still haunt me. There were men, powerful men, and I targeted them especially, knowing they’d pay so much if