Deep Surrendering: Episode Eleven by Chelsea M. Cameron Page B

mean, I hadn’t done anything wrong, but it was just an awkward situation.
    “Hey, long time no see. Where have you been?” he asked. He smiled at me brightly and I felt like crap.
    “Just busy.” Ugh, I didn’t want to do this. “Um, there’s no other way to say this, but remember that guy I told you about?” He nodded and I could tell he wasn’t pleased, but he put on a huge smile anyway. Oh, he was going to make some girl out there so happy. It just wasn’t me.
    “Well, he came back and we’re together again. I wish I could explain the whole thing, but it’s a really long and insane story.” He probably wouldn’t believe a lot of it.
    “That’s great,” he said. “Are you happy? You look happy.”
    Now it was my turn to beam.
    “I am happy. So much that I want to yell on rooftops and run around skipping and I can’t stop smiling. That kind of love.”
    “Good, I’m really happy for you.” He seemed to start pulling away.
    “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I was just so wrapped up in him that I forgot about everything else for a few days. But I definitely need my study buddy.” It sounded juvenile to call him that, but I didn’t know what else to call him.
    “Awesome. What about Thursday night?”
    “Sure, that sounds great. Five? Our usual table?” He nodded and then leaned forward to envelope me in a hug. I hugged him back, and he let go quickly. Like he was worried about hugging me too long. How sweet.
    “I’ll see you then. Oh, and I’m happy for you. Really.” Chase didn’t sound totally convinced and I hated myself a little inside.
    “Thanks,” I said, giving him another smile. “See you on Thursday?”
    “See you on Thursday,” he said before he headed back to his table. Maybe I could find someone for him. If only Chloe was straight. Speaking of her, she texted me just as I was leaving the library.
    Have you gotten out of bed yet, or are your legs still wrapped around Fin?
    I snorted and called her instead of replying.
    “No, my legs are not still wrapped around him. I’m just headed home. Where are you?”
    “At work. Or hell. They’re the same thing.”
    “I’m sorry.”
    “Whatever. I just wanted to check in and see if your lady bits had been rubbed raw yet.” I made a face. Sometimes I hated the way she described things.
    “No. I’m good. But thanks for your concern.”
    “You’re welcome. How are things going?” I told her about Fin being back for good and that he’d asked me to move in with him.
    “Are you going to?”
    “I want to. But it’s way too soon. Way too soon. He just got back.”
    “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Damn her. I hated when she was perceptive.
    “It’s crazy, Chlo. We haven’t been together long-term yet. Long-distance isn’t the same as being with someone every day.”
    “You’re scared,” she said.
    “Obviously. This could all blow up in my face.” I hailed a cab and told him my address.
    “Look, I’ll be out of work in ten minutes. I’m coming over and we’re going to talk about his. Okay?” She was going to come over whether I liked it or not.
    “Sounds good. I’ll get the wine out.” She laughed.
    “You know me so well.”
     

     
    I had a glass of wine waiting for Chloe when she buzzed me to let her in. It was the first thing she reached for when she walked through the door.
    “Dear God, I need this today. I’ll tell you about it later, but right now we need to talk about you and Fin.” She dragged me over to the couch and forced me to sit down.
    “I pretty much told you everything.” Well, not everything. She didn’t know about Sapphire. Or his insane father. Or a lot of things. I hated keeping secrets from her, but they weren’t my secrets to tell. They belonged to Fin.
    “So what’s holding you back from moving in with him?” I couldn’t exactly put it into words, but I was going to try.
    “He’s so wonderful and I love him so much and I guess I’m afraid it’s too good