Deep Surrendering: Episode Eleven by Chelsea M. Cameron

knew I’d get sore from waltzing? I feel like I hiked a mountain or something.” He put his book on the bedside table and turned on his side.
    “Would you like some coffee?” I nodded and he went to the kitchen. I seized my moment to have some time alone in the bathroom. I quickly braided my hair back, brushed my teeth and washed my face. By the time Fin was back with coffee and breakfast, I was much more presentable.
    “So I guess I fell asleep in the tub, huh?” I said as he laid out croissants and jam on the table that went over the bed.
    “You did. I didn’t want to move you, but there wasn’t really a choice.” He seemed… distant this morning.
    “You okay?” He gave me a quick smile that didn’t reach his eyes. It was a smile to make me think that he was fine. Nope, that wasn’t going to work anymore.
    “I can tell you’ve been thinking a lot. You have your thinking face on.” He sipped his coffee and then set it down.
    “What is my thinking face?”
    “The one you’re wearing right now. I know you don’t sleep and that gives you more time to think about things you probably shouldn’t be thinking about.” It couldn’t be healthy to sleep as little as he did, but somehow he made it work.
    He opened his mouth and I waited for him to tell me I was wrong, but he didn’t.
    “You’re right. I do think about things too much. And they tend to be the bad things and not the good ones.” That was totally understandable. He’d had a lot of shitty things happen in his life. He wasn’t just going to get over those things in a few days or even a few years.
    “Fin? Have you ever thought about therapy?” I almost cringed when I said it because I wasn’t sure how he would react. Something told me he wouldn’t much like the idea of therapy.
    But he surprised me.
    “Yes. I have. I think it’s something that I’m finally ready to face. I need to learn better coping mechanisms. And I need to start letting go of the damage that my father caused. I don’t want to go back to being the person I was when he controlled me. I can’t go back to that person.”
    “You won’t,” I said, reaching out and taking his hand. “But you need to believe that.”
    “I do. I think.” He laughed softly. “It’s going to take time.”
    “We’ve got plenty of it.”
    “True. So, how would you like to spend our time today?”
    I leaned closer to him and he put his arm around me.
    “This. And definitely some other stuff, if you know what I mean. But I’m so happy to just have you here that I don’t want to go anywhere.” Spending the day in bed with Fin was the perfect Sunday activity.
    “Then that’s what we’ll do.”
    So we did.
    We watched movies and didn’t get dressed and ate whatever food was in the house and it was wonderful. Lazy and sweet and wonderful.
    We were in the middle of watching Big Fish when Fin’s hand (the one not on my shoulder) started creeping over my chest. I pretended to ignore it, but at the same time, I slid my hand down his chest and stroked his boxers. He was already semi-hard and it didn’t take long for him to start pitching a tent. His breathing changed and I could feel his energy shifting into overdrive. Before I could realize what was happening, he was straddling me, pinning me to the bed.
    “Oh, hello,” I said, smiling up at him.
    “You cant’ start something and then not follow through, Mari Cherry.”
    “I’m definitely planning on following through,” I said, squeezing him so he moaned a little. Ha. I got so much satisfaction from having him like this.
    I squeezed again and he glared at me. I started stroking with my hand.
    “If you let me move then I’ll follow through with my mouth,” I said and instantly the pressure was let off me.
    “Good boy,” I said as I shimmied down the bed so I was level with the bulge in his boxers. I slid them down and pinched his ass before I took him in my mouth.
    “Shit,” he said, throwing his head back. I smiled as I