Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness by Edward T. Welch

evidence that the psalmist’s sin caused his suffering. How is he going to take hope in the fact that he is forgiven? How will that rescue him? It seems like a pat spiritual answer to a life or death predicament. If you heard that from a friend, you might say “thanks,” but you certainly wouldn’t turn in that direction for help again. On the hierarchy of needs, physical survival seems more basic than spiritual encouragement. But the psalmist is clear on this. He is, without apology, presenting forgiveness of sins as the deepest answer of all. From his perspective, with forgiveness of sins he has hit the mother lode.
    To appreciate the psalm’s guidance on this, we have to believe that sin is a problem in our lives. In fact, to really be led by the psalm, we must realize that sin is our deepest problem, even deeper than our depression. Robert Fleming, a persecuted Scottish minister who lived from 1630–94, said, “In the worst of times, there is still more cause to complain of an evil heart than of an evil world.” In a culture where sin is not part of our normal public discourse, to adopt such a perspective will take some work.
    Here are some questions to help you get started.
    Do you believe that seeing sin in yourself is a good thing? Here you are, feeling like your self-worth couldn’t be lower, and the discussion turns to sin. Why not just pound the final nail into the coffin? But, contrary to popular opinion, sin is a good thing. More specifically, when we see sin in ourselves it is a good thing. It is good on two counts. First, sin might feel natural, but we were originally created to live without it. True humanness—blessed humanness—is sinless humanness. Of course, on this side of heaven perfection is impossible, but as we battle with sin we get tastes of how we were intended to live.
    Second, when we see sin, it is evidence that God is close. It is the Holy Spirit who reveals sin (John 16:8). We don’t have the acumen for it. If you see it, have hope—the Holy Spirit is at work in your life. It is tangible evidence of God’s love.
    Do you believe that sin is against God? To go one step further, while it may be easy to acknowledge that you sin—who doesn’t?—it is tougher to acknowledge that your sin is against God.
    We don’t think of most wrongdoing as personal. If we break a law, we are not thinking that we violated city council, Congress or whatever body made the law. But biblical law-breaking is much more personal. It is more like adultery than speeding. Adulterers may feel like they are just doing what they want, but when they are exposed, they realize that their wrongdoing was highly personal. Yes, they are doing what they want, but they are also doing it against the spouse. In a similar way, we don’t always realize that sin is conscious rebellion against God. We don’t immediately see that every command arises out of God’s character, and each violation dishonors him. The entire process is much more covert. Only when the Holy Spirit shines his light on our hearts do we realize that sin is personal.
    Do you believe that sin is found in imaginations, motives, thoughts, and deeds? Although we may go through a day without other people actually seeing our sin, we can’t go through an hour without sinning at the level of our thoughts and imaginations. It is there, at the level of the human heart, that you will find selfishness, pride, a desire to be loved rather than love, anger and lack of forgiveness, jealousy, complaining, grumbling, and thanklessness to the God who forgives. All these might be hidden from everyone else, but they are apparent to God.
    Can you pinpoint, right now, a handful of sins? Now for the acid test: What sins do you see right now in your own life? Don’t list ways you have not always succeeded in life; list ways you presently sin against God. Start with the obvious ones: you don’t love deeply from the heart; you are concerned with your own success more than God