Sadie. I canât tell what Lucyâs into. Nothing, most likely. Sheâs just a girl, just a person. She wakes up, goes to school, goes home, watches TV. I donât know who sheâs friends with. I feel sorry for her in some vague way but I donât know why.
But if she would have sex with me, what difference does it make what sheâs into?
Gabe had a thought: âWhy do guys worry about what to say to girls? If they like you, whatever you say is going to work. And if they donât like you, nothing you say is going to make any difference.â
That still leaves out the crucial part: How do they decide they like you?
February 27
Saw Lucy in the hall talking to a guy today. I was instantly jealous. Why do I like her so much? I donât even know her. I want her physically. Thatâs really it. Iâve never wanted someone like that before. I ache when I see her.
With Sadie it was never about the physical. It was totally above that. But maybe thatâs what happens. You hit that late adolescent period and all thinking ends. You come right down to earth, right down to beast level. You become that thing girls talk about: a typical male being led around by his lower extremities.
Itâs hard to imagine talking to Lucy. But I can imagine sleeping with her. I have been imagining it quite regularly. I canât stop imagining it. Maybe itâs time for my first Lucy Branch, my first truly physical relationship. And why do I assume it would be a bad thing? Maybe itâs better with someone different from you. I could teach her how fluorocarbons affect the ozone. She could teach me about oral sex.
We would both become better people.
February 28
Saw Sadie after school today. She was talking with two of her Activist Club comrades.
Sadie sort of looked in my direction as I passed. She didnât say anything, though. Weird how I thought after our library conversation that something would happen. Nothing did.
Anyway, I am too busy contemplating the possibilities with Lucy Branch to think about anything else.
âYes, Lucy, it is hot in this broken-down car in the middle of the desert, maybe we should take off our clothesâ¦â
âOf course you can stay in my tent here in the rain forest, Lucy. Weâll just have to share my sleeping bagâ¦â
âI know it sucks that weâre snowed in at this mountain cabin, Lucy, but at least thereâs two of us and lots of blanketsâ¦â
And yet, no matter how much I obsess over Lucy Branch, Sadie remains, lurking in the back of my mind. My first girlfriend, my first love, my first everything. And the worst part: the impossibly high standard Iâll measure everyone else against the rest of my life.
Thanks a lot, Sadie, for making every other girl seem like a brainless slug.
THE ROBOT SHOW
Jessica Carlucci and I went to the New Technologies Convention last night with her dad. There werenât as many robots as there have been in past years, though there were some dancing robots and some robots that fly and some nanobots that they put in your bloodstream that can tell if you have cancer or not.
There was other stuff, too. New cars, new games, new battery-operated clothing. There was a personal submarine with drink holders, which might come in handy in the future. Everything says âgreenâ on it now, regardless of whether it actually is. That was kind of annoying.
The worst was a Chevy Avalanche they had right in the middle of the convention center. For those who donât know what a Chevy Avalanche is, it is a Deluxe Luxury Pickup Truck built in the shape of a penis. I think one could safely say it is one of the stupidest vehicles ever invented.
This particular Chevy Avalanche was painted green, and on the hood was a big sign that said THE NEW GENERATION OF ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY CARS. There were smaller signs on the different parts of it. On the wheels it said FRICTION RESISTANT FREE-ROLLING TIRES.
But if she would have sex with me, what difference does it make what sheâs into?
Gabe had a thought: âWhy do guys worry about what to say to girls? If they like you, whatever you say is going to work. And if they donât like you, nothing you say is going to make any difference.â
That still leaves out the crucial part: How do they decide they like you?
February 27
Saw Lucy in the hall talking to a guy today. I was instantly jealous. Why do I like her so much? I donât even know her. I want her physically. Thatâs really it. Iâve never wanted someone like that before. I ache when I see her.
With Sadie it was never about the physical. It was totally above that. But maybe thatâs what happens. You hit that late adolescent period and all thinking ends. You come right down to earth, right down to beast level. You become that thing girls talk about: a typical male being led around by his lower extremities.
Itâs hard to imagine talking to Lucy. But I can imagine sleeping with her. I have been imagining it quite regularly. I canât stop imagining it. Maybe itâs time for my first Lucy Branch, my first truly physical relationship. And why do I assume it would be a bad thing? Maybe itâs better with someone different from you. I could teach her how fluorocarbons affect the ozone. She could teach me about oral sex.
We would both become better people.
February 28
Saw Sadie after school today. She was talking with two of her Activist Club comrades.
Sadie sort of looked in my direction as I passed. She didnât say anything, though. Weird how I thought after our library conversation that something would happen. Nothing did.
Anyway, I am too busy contemplating the possibilities with Lucy Branch to think about anything else.
âYes, Lucy, it is hot in this broken-down car in the middle of the desert, maybe we should take off our clothesâ¦â
âOf course you can stay in my tent here in the rain forest, Lucy. Weâll just have to share my sleeping bagâ¦â
âI know it sucks that weâre snowed in at this mountain cabin, Lucy, but at least thereâs two of us and lots of blanketsâ¦â
And yet, no matter how much I obsess over Lucy Branch, Sadie remains, lurking in the back of my mind. My first girlfriend, my first love, my first everything. And the worst part: the impossibly high standard Iâll measure everyone else against the rest of my life.
Thanks a lot, Sadie, for making every other girl seem like a brainless slug.
THE ROBOT SHOW
Jessica Carlucci and I went to the New Technologies Convention last night with her dad. There werenât as many robots as there have been in past years, though there were some dancing robots and some robots that fly and some nanobots that they put in your bloodstream that can tell if you have cancer or not.
There was other stuff, too. New cars, new games, new battery-operated clothing. There was a personal submarine with drink holders, which might come in handy in the future. Everything says âgreenâ on it now, regardless of whether it actually is. That was kind of annoying.
The worst was a Chevy Avalanche they had right in the middle of the convention center. For those who donât know what a Chevy Avalanche is, it is a Deluxe Luxury Pickup Truck built in the shape of a penis. I think one could safely say it is one of the stupidest vehicles ever invented.
This particular Chevy Avalanche was painted green, and on the hood was a big sign that said THE NEW GENERATION OF ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY CARS. There were smaller signs on the different parts of it. On the wheels it said FRICTION RESISTANT FREE-ROLLING TIRES.
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