learning. Another thing is the level of maturityamong the students. Sometimes I feel going to a prep school would be better for me. I think there is much more seriousness about life in those schools. At my school they would call kids at those schools nerds. If that’s the case, nerds are much better off than they are.
I wish I could switch schools. There must be better schools around with better programs and things like that. I didn’t have a choice for this school—it’s closest to me so this is where I have to go. When I get older, I’m going to make sure I give my kids a choice in what they do. Like what school they think is best for themselves and so on. I want to be able to be such a great parent. I want to have really happy kids. All the things I never had, I’ll make sure they have it. I hope my daughter won’t have to complain so much in her diary.
February 13, 1991
Dear Janice
,
I t’s coming around the time for Damon’s birthday. Who’s Damon? Well he’s this babyfaced guy who really liked me once. That’s when I was around nine. He was my first encounter with boys. In those times when I thought of boys I said, “Eeew.” Well, this guy didn’t think of girls that way. He was like eleven then. Now listen to what an eleven-year-old boy got me. He got me a gold chain and a two fingerring that said “I Love You.” It’s hard to believe but it’s true.
He was so cute and so sweet and all that I was scared. I ended up giving back his ring and burying the chain. I couldn’t be seen with them. My mother would hunt him and his mother down and throw the gifts in their faces. I buried the chain and said me and my next door friend Lisa had become soul sisters by burying the things we held most dear.
Anyway, he really wanted to kiss me and no matter what, I wouldn’t let him. Once I went for his cheek to give him a friendly kiss and he went for the lips. I remember wiping and wiping them off after he left. I was so silly.
He’s not around anymore. His mom died and he lives in a foster home now. It’s a tragic story but it’s good to have these memories.
February 16, 1991
Dear Janice
,
R ondah’s deciding to go back to school had me thinking that I shouldn’t waste the opportunity I have now to go to school. I don’t remember mentioning that I’m in a special program at school that skips me from 7th to 9th grade. I never mentioned that at school I’m thought of as smart. Teachers think so, students think, nerd. I don’t think I’m really a nerd, I just understand the work more than most kids do and I remember things well. Anyway, that’s why I’mskipping a grade. The great thing about it is I get out of this dumpy school one year earlier. I can’t say I’m definitely going to Bronx Science but it is a dream of mine. The only thing that I think would stop me is if I don’t pass the admissions test. That’s my one worry. I’ll just have to study hard.
February 18, 1991
Dear Janice
,
S ince Dave’s party Rondah has been seeing a lot of this guy named Phillip Osavio. They met there and since then he’s been over at the house a lot. He seems really sweet. He dresses nice, wears expensive clothes and has a lot of jewelry. I know the first thing people say when they see a young black guy with things like that is that he’s a drug dealer. Phillip is definitely no such thing. He works up in White Plains in this big supermarket. I’m not sure what he does, but Derek used to work for him. That’s how Phillip ended up at that party—through his contacts with Derek’s bigger brother. Anyway, Phillip told me how Derek used to sit in the back and eat ice cream all day. I think it was a cross between Derek being fired and quitting, but however it happened, he doesn’t work there anymore.
February 20, 1991
Dear Janice
,
I realize I haven’t written to you about my big diet I went on. It lasted for a week and that was it. I have no will power whatsoever. I’m thinking back to this diet
I wish I could switch schools. There must be better schools around with better programs and things like that. I didn’t have a choice for this school—it’s closest to me so this is where I have to go. When I get older, I’m going to make sure I give my kids a choice in what they do. Like what school they think is best for themselves and so on. I want to be able to be such a great parent. I want to have really happy kids. All the things I never had, I’ll make sure they have it. I hope my daughter won’t have to complain so much in her diary.
February 13, 1991
Dear Janice
,
I t’s coming around the time for Damon’s birthday. Who’s Damon? Well he’s this babyfaced guy who really liked me once. That’s when I was around nine. He was my first encounter with boys. In those times when I thought of boys I said, “Eeew.” Well, this guy didn’t think of girls that way. He was like eleven then. Now listen to what an eleven-year-old boy got me. He got me a gold chain and a two fingerring that said “I Love You.” It’s hard to believe but it’s true.
He was so cute and so sweet and all that I was scared. I ended up giving back his ring and burying the chain. I couldn’t be seen with them. My mother would hunt him and his mother down and throw the gifts in their faces. I buried the chain and said me and my next door friend Lisa had become soul sisters by burying the things we held most dear.
Anyway, he really wanted to kiss me and no matter what, I wouldn’t let him. Once I went for his cheek to give him a friendly kiss and he went for the lips. I remember wiping and wiping them off after he left. I was so silly.
He’s not around anymore. His mom died and he lives in a foster home now. It’s a tragic story but it’s good to have these memories.
February 16, 1991
Dear Janice
,
R ondah’s deciding to go back to school had me thinking that I shouldn’t waste the opportunity I have now to go to school. I don’t remember mentioning that I’m in a special program at school that skips me from 7th to 9th grade. I never mentioned that at school I’m thought of as smart. Teachers think so, students think, nerd. I don’t think I’m really a nerd, I just understand the work more than most kids do and I remember things well. Anyway, that’s why I’mskipping a grade. The great thing about it is I get out of this dumpy school one year earlier. I can’t say I’m definitely going to Bronx Science but it is a dream of mine. The only thing that I think would stop me is if I don’t pass the admissions test. That’s my one worry. I’ll just have to study hard.
February 18, 1991
Dear Janice
,
S ince Dave’s party Rondah has been seeing a lot of this guy named Phillip Osavio. They met there and since then he’s been over at the house a lot. He seems really sweet. He dresses nice, wears expensive clothes and has a lot of jewelry. I know the first thing people say when they see a young black guy with things like that is that he’s a drug dealer. Phillip is definitely no such thing. He works up in White Plains in this big supermarket. I’m not sure what he does, but Derek used to work for him. That’s how Phillip ended up at that party—through his contacts with Derek’s bigger brother. Anyway, Phillip told me how Derek used to sit in the back and eat ice cream all day. I think it was a cross between Derek being fired and quitting, but however it happened, he doesn’t work there anymore.
February 20, 1991
Dear Janice
,
I realize I haven’t written to you about my big diet I went on. It lasted for a week and that was it. I have no will power whatsoever. I’m thinking back to this diet
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