use him as a decoy if they ever catch on. Part of me is actually glad he’s gone right now so I can make sure I take my time to get it all right. I don’t want to make a mistake and all of this have been for nothing. I’m growing really antsy, though. I want to feel him around me and feel him in my arms. The vessels will suffice for now, but I know it won’t be too long before even they aren’t enough. I want him. I want to feel his body against mine. I know that it will take a little time for him to grow strong enough, but I wish it could just happen now. I just hope it doesn’t take too long.
1/11/09- I found the next vessel. It was strange. I took the list I made of potentials out with me today to see if I could find any of them. He was the first man on the list, a guy named Brad Palmer. He was actually a cop before he retired last year. I almost skipped him, because I was considering the possibility that only younger men would have the energy to make Justin stronger. I’m glad I didn’t! He may be forty but he doesn’t look it. He actually looks younger now than he did when we worked together a few years back. I guess he’s decided to use his retirement to get out there and do stuff. He was carrying his bike out of the front door of his house when I pulled up. I knew as soon as I saw him that he was the one. It wasn’t just a feeling that I had; he had a glow around him. It was like Justin was around him, making sure I knew that he was the perfect one.
Now I’m even more excited! I have to say, I’m actually enjoying this part of things more than I thought. I had assumed this would just be like work and the time with them would be the part that I liked. Following them and getting to know their routines and habits is great, though! I know it’s a little silly, but I feel almost like a hunter, or maybe a spy. It’s so exciting to watch them while making sure they don’t see me.
1/14/09- Work sucks! That’s all I have to say.
1/17/09- I went to the bar again last night. After listening to Wilcome talk about only having a few months to catch “this guy” before another man was taken, I almost left work and grabbed the vessel. I wanted more than anything to make him look like a fool. I was actually on my way out of the station when I stopped myself. I can’t act out of emotion like that. When people are emotional, they make mistakes. I can’t risk making one and leaving something behind. Justin isn’t even close to strong enough yet. I have to remain hidden until he is.
I decided to hit the bar after leaving to try and calm myself. As I did last week, I walked in and gravitated toward a random guy. It didn’t really calm me at all, but I have to make sure that I appear unattached. This time I started making out with him. I felt like I was going to throw up and cry at the same time. The bar was pretty full, though, so I wanted to make sure enough people saw it. It definitely drew a crowd. After a few minutes I acted like I was getting a phone call and walked out to take it. I went straight to my car and drove home. I barely made it through the front door when I broke down. I know that it’s important to keep up appearances, but I don’t think I can go that far again. I can flirt and stuff, but that was just too hard. Oh, I can’t wait to have Justin back. I just wanted to curl up in his arms last night and cry. I miss him so much.
1/18/09- I got called out to this gas station robbery today. Oh lord, criminals are so stupid. This guy, some nineteen year old kid, walked into the gas station with a water gun. It did actually resemble a real gun, but come on! That’s not even the worse part. After he walked around the entire store and grabbed some snacks and a case of beer, he proceeded to put on a mask and walk to the register. What on earth was he thinking! What was
1/11/09- I found the next vessel. It was strange. I took the list I made of potentials out with me today to see if I could find any of them. He was the first man on the list, a guy named Brad Palmer. He was actually a cop before he retired last year. I almost skipped him, because I was considering the possibility that only younger men would have the energy to make Justin stronger. I’m glad I didn’t! He may be forty but he doesn’t look it. He actually looks younger now than he did when we worked together a few years back. I guess he’s decided to use his retirement to get out there and do stuff. He was carrying his bike out of the front door of his house when I pulled up. I knew as soon as I saw him that he was the one. It wasn’t just a feeling that I had; he had a glow around him. It was like Justin was around him, making sure I knew that he was the perfect one.
Now I’m even more excited! I have to say, I’m actually enjoying this part of things more than I thought. I had assumed this would just be like work and the time with them would be the part that I liked. Following them and getting to know their routines and habits is great, though! I know it’s a little silly, but I feel almost like a hunter, or maybe a spy. It’s so exciting to watch them while making sure they don’t see me.
1/14/09- Work sucks! That’s all I have to say.
1/17/09- I went to the bar again last night. After listening to Wilcome talk about only having a few months to catch “this guy” before another man was taken, I almost left work and grabbed the vessel. I wanted more than anything to make him look like a fool. I was actually on my way out of the station when I stopped myself. I can’t act out of emotion like that. When people are emotional, they make mistakes. I can’t risk making one and leaving something behind. Justin isn’t even close to strong enough yet. I have to remain hidden until he is.
I decided to hit the bar after leaving to try and calm myself. As I did last week, I walked in and gravitated toward a random guy. It didn’t really calm me at all, but I have to make sure that I appear unattached. This time I started making out with him. I felt like I was going to throw up and cry at the same time. The bar was pretty full, though, so I wanted to make sure enough people saw it. It definitely drew a crowd. After a few minutes I acted like I was getting a phone call and walked out to take it. I went straight to my car and drove home. I barely made it through the front door when I broke down. I know that it’s important to keep up appearances, but I don’t think I can go that far again. I can flirt and stuff, but that was just too hard. Oh, I can’t wait to have Justin back. I just wanted to curl up in his arms last night and cry. I miss him so much.
1/18/09- I got called out to this gas station robbery today. Oh lord, criminals are so stupid. This guy, some nineteen year old kid, walked into the gas station with a water gun. It did actually resemble a real gun, but come on! That’s not even the worse part. After he walked around the entire store and grabbed some snacks and a case of beer, he proceeded to put on a mask and walk to the register. What on earth was he thinking! What was
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