reasons, then go home, trash,” another said.
“Oh my god,” I said. “Everyone hates me now!” I looked wide-eyed between Megan and Ben. Ben looked grim, but Megan just shrugged.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “It’ll blow over.”
But I wasn’t so sure. “Ben…what do I do?” I asked. “You’re in communications. How do I handle this?”
He pressed his lips together. “Reality TV viewers do make quick judgments.”
“Hey, did you choose your own outfits for the show?” Megan asked suddenly, and I whipped my attention back to her, not sure how this could help but ready to listen to whatever she had to offer.
“Yes, why?”
“Will you help me choose what to bring on my trip to Dallas tomorrow?”
I sucked in a deep breath. I was so screwed.
“Well,” Ben said later, as we walked toward his car and my bus stop from Megan’s house, “I guess you have two options.” I hung on his every word, ready to try anything. “You can choose not to care and not to get involved. That’s what I would do if…for some reason…I’d gone on a reality TV show and had this happen.”
“No,” I said. “I do care. I do desperately want a job from him, but they’re making me look like a monster for it.”
“Well, you didn’t play by the rules,” he pointed out. “Reality TV is all about the rules.”
“I tried!” I protested. “I tried a lot harder than a lot of those women to play by the rules. Our contract said we couldn’t talk about our one-on-one dates with Andrew with each other, and everyone else did. I never did.”
“There are certain rules that can be broken, and certain rules that can’t.”
“And you’re saying that I broke the wrong rule.”
“It does look bad,” he admitted. “I mean, I don’t know how many people in this country would actually believe you can fall in love with someone over the course of eight weeks starting as total strangers, but that is the premise of the show.”
“What about the people who went on because they wanted to be famous?” I demanded. “What about them?”
“Did they admit that’s why they went on, or did they play along?” he asked, and I sighed.
“I guess you’re right.” It all felt so patently unfair, especially since that offhanded comment didn’t even show how I actually felt about Andrew — not later, at least. I’d fallen for him, whether I intended to or not. I may have started out by applying when the only thing I knew about him was his ability to advance my career, but by the end I really did want to be with him. By the end, it legitimately hurt like hell when The Horrible Day happened. It still did. It had been the worst day of my life, without a doubt.
“So what’s option two?” I asked.
He looked at me. “If you really can’t get past the idea that strangers whom you’ll never meet don’t think highly of you…”
“Which I can’t,” I can’t flatly. It was partly the strangers, and partly the fact that I didn’t want Andrew to see what I’d said, couldn’t stand the thought of him knowing that I’d gone on the show for the wrong reasons. If there was still the smallest fragment of a chance he could want me back, this was only going to change his mind forever. Besides, love or no love, villain or no villain, I desperately wanted to be on his good side if a job opened up.
“Then you can start a PR campaign of sorts,” he said. “Get on Twitter and make your case. Be polite and professional when people are mean to you. But January —” He peered even more intently at me now. “They will be mean to you. At least if this thread on the show continues.”
“So what do I say?” I asked. “I don’t even know where to start.”
He gave me a few suggestions, but I was terrified. I couldn’t believe the massive shift in direction that had taken place, the total 180 the show had made from portraying me as the sweet, innocent frontrunner to the manipulative bitch who was
“Oh my god,” I said. “Everyone hates me now!” I looked wide-eyed between Megan and Ben. Ben looked grim, but Megan just shrugged.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “It’ll blow over.”
But I wasn’t so sure. “Ben…what do I do?” I asked. “You’re in communications. How do I handle this?”
He pressed his lips together. “Reality TV viewers do make quick judgments.”
“Hey, did you choose your own outfits for the show?” Megan asked suddenly, and I whipped my attention back to her, not sure how this could help but ready to listen to whatever she had to offer.
“Yes, why?”
“Will you help me choose what to bring on my trip to Dallas tomorrow?”
I sucked in a deep breath. I was so screwed.
“Well,” Ben said later, as we walked toward his car and my bus stop from Megan’s house, “I guess you have two options.” I hung on his every word, ready to try anything. “You can choose not to care and not to get involved. That’s what I would do if…for some reason…I’d gone on a reality TV show and had this happen.”
“No,” I said. “I do care. I do desperately want a job from him, but they’re making me look like a monster for it.”
“Well, you didn’t play by the rules,” he pointed out. “Reality TV is all about the rules.”
“I tried!” I protested. “I tried a lot harder than a lot of those women to play by the rules. Our contract said we couldn’t talk about our one-on-one dates with Andrew with each other, and everyone else did. I never did.”
“There are certain rules that can be broken, and certain rules that can’t.”
“And you’re saying that I broke the wrong rule.”
“It does look bad,” he admitted. “I mean, I don’t know how many people in this country would actually believe you can fall in love with someone over the course of eight weeks starting as total strangers, but that is the premise of the show.”
“What about the people who went on because they wanted to be famous?” I demanded. “What about them?”
“Did they admit that’s why they went on, or did they play along?” he asked, and I sighed.
“I guess you’re right.” It all felt so patently unfair, especially since that offhanded comment didn’t even show how I actually felt about Andrew — not later, at least. I’d fallen for him, whether I intended to or not. I may have started out by applying when the only thing I knew about him was his ability to advance my career, but by the end I really did want to be with him. By the end, it legitimately hurt like hell when The Horrible Day happened. It still did. It had been the worst day of my life, without a doubt.
“So what’s option two?” I asked.
He looked at me. “If you really can’t get past the idea that strangers whom you’ll never meet don’t think highly of you…”
“Which I can’t,” I can’t flatly. It was partly the strangers, and partly the fact that I didn’t want Andrew to see what I’d said, couldn’t stand the thought of him knowing that I’d gone on the show for the wrong reasons. If there was still the smallest fragment of a chance he could want me back, this was only going to change his mind forever. Besides, love or no love, villain or no villain, I desperately wanted to be on his good side if a job opened up.
“Then you can start a PR campaign of sorts,” he said. “Get on Twitter and make your case. Be polite and professional when people are mean to you. But January —” He peered even more intently at me now. “They will be mean to you. At least if this thread on the show continues.”
“So what do I say?” I asked. “I don’t even know where to start.”
He gave me a few suggestions, but I was terrified. I couldn’t believe the massive shift in direction that had taken place, the total 180 the show had made from portraying me as the sweet, innocent frontrunner to the manipulative bitch who was
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