suggestive of night rather than day. I would have seen them as vestals if they had made me the object of their worship. All dressed in white, their veils barely hiding their gentle hearts, their swaying hips, their bronze backsides.
But theyâre like two hands on a body. They donât need a third. They are free to do whatever they like, whenever they like. Their smiles suggest no need for any boys. Their eyes bind them to each other. We are invisible.
That scares the gang. I can sense something changing in them, even after theyâve tolerated Eveâs escapades for so long, and Savitaâs distant prettiness, and even what drew them together at first. But they donât want these female bodies being dangled in front of them with no hope of a taste. Eve can move from man to man, but when sheâs with Savita, thatâs when she slips away. Weâre not yours, the two of them say. We never will be. On their tiptoes they slip and slide. The cigarettes flare with sharp inhalations and reveal malicious glimmers in the guysâ eyes. Kenny whispers, itâs time to teach those two a real lesson. The others just get hard. Yeah, whatâs their game? A girlsâ game, sure, but no way these sluts have any idea whatâs coming to them.
And they keep talking.
I try my best to calm them down, to change their mind. I have tothink up a hundred different ways to distract them. I say to Clélio, hey Clélio, remember that car you got the license plate number for, yeah, I have the address, my uncle handles vehicle registration stuff. But Clélioâs in his own little world, heâs biting his nails to the quick, and when that happens he doesnât have any time to listen to me. But everyone else is all for it: letâs go slash the tires on that huge four-by-four, they say. Letâs break the windows and give that little lady a scare.
Nobody really wants to go do it, but when youâre a gang, you have to forget that youâre a person, you have to be part of this moving, powerful, hot body that nothing can stop. Once you start moving, you have to go all the way.
Clélio doesnât want to come.
Leave him, says Kenny, heâs got his head in the clouds.
We canât leave him alone, I say.
Leave me alone, says Clélio, as heâs peeling away the dead skin on his soles.
And I do it, because I want to get the rest of them away from Savita and Eve. I want to distract them from the two women.
We leave the cité at the mercy of Clélioâs breakneck fury.
EVE
Savitaâsjust left me in front of my place. I didnât go inside right away, as usual. Tonight, more than ever, everythingâs weighing down on me. The teacherâs thrown me off. He was like a lizard; he seemed to actually be in love with meâas much as a man can actually know how to love. He stares at me for minutes on end and sighs, and then, suddenly, he unleashes a pent-up fury, but that doesnât even make me angry.
Tonight, something weird happened. Something Iâd never experienced before.
Just when he realized it, he seemed shaken, as if he was about to start crying. I canât figure it out. I donât think he just wants my body, the way everyone else does. I think he wants me, too, the soft and warm thing beneath my icy crust. When he puts his hands in me, I feel like heâs trying to find that. To find me right where it hurts so much to be touched. But maybe heâs just like all the others and wants to see me wince in pain, and thatâs all it is. Maybe heâs just a man the same way all the others are men.
Fortunately, Savita waits for me every time in front of the school. When I see her, I forget whatâs just happened. When I see her, I catch a glimpse of the moments to come and I can shut the door on what tears me apart.
I think of Savita tonight, she who saves me from myself.
SAVITA
Iâm afraid tonight. Iâmwalking her home again, but
But theyâre like two hands on a body. They donât need a third. They are free to do whatever they like, whenever they like. Their smiles suggest no need for any boys. Their eyes bind them to each other. We are invisible.
That scares the gang. I can sense something changing in them, even after theyâve tolerated Eveâs escapades for so long, and Savitaâs distant prettiness, and even what drew them together at first. But they donât want these female bodies being dangled in front of them with no hope of a taste. Eve can move from man to man, but when sheâs with Savita, thatâs when she slips away. Weâre not yours, the two of them say. We never will be. On their tiptoes they slip and slide. The cigarettes flare with sharp inhalations and reveal malicious glimmers in the guysâ eyes. Kenny whispers, itâs time to teach those two a real lesson. The others just get hard. Yeah, whatâs their game? A girlsâ game, sure, but no way these sluts have any idea whatâs coming to them.
And they keep talking.
I try my best to calm them down, to change their mind. I have tothink up a hundred different ways to distract them. I say to Clélio, hey Clélio, remember that car you got the license plate number for, yeah, I have the address, my uncle handles vehicle registration stuff. But Clélioâs in his own little world, heâs biting his nails to the quick, and when that happens he doesnât have any time to listen to me. But everyone else is all for it: letâs go slash the tires on that huge four-by-four, they say. Letâs break the windows and give that little lady a scare.
Nobody really wants to go do it, but when youâre a gang, you have to forget that youâre a person, you have to be part of this moving, powerful, hot body that nothing can stop. Once you start moving, you have to go all the way.
Clélio doesnât want to come.
Leave him, says Kenny, heâs got his head in the clouds.
We canât leave him alone, I say.
Leave me alone, says Clélio, as heâs peeling away the dead skin on his soles.
And I do it, because I want to get the rest of them away from Savita and Eve. I want to distract them from the two women.
We leave the cité at the mercy of Clélioâs breakneck fury.
EVE
Savitaâsjust left me in front of my place. I didnât go inside right away, as usual. Tonight, more than ever, everythingâs weighing down on me. The teacherâs thrown me off. He was like a lizard; he seemed to actually be in love with meâas much as a man can actually know how to love. He stares at me for minutes on end and sighs, and then, suddenly, he unleashes a pent-up fury, but that doesnât even make me angry.
Tonight, something weird happened. Something Iâd never experienced before.
Just when he realized it, he seemed shaken, as if he was about to start crying. I canât figure it out. I donât think he just wants my body, the way everyone else does. I think he wants me, too, the soft and warm thing beneath my icy crust. When he puts his hands in me, I feel like heâs trying to find that. To find me right where it hurts so much to be touched. But maybe heâs just like all the others and wants to see me wince in pain, and thatâs all it is. Maybe heâs just a man the same way all the others are men.
Fortunately, Savita waits for me every time in front of the school. When I see her, I forget whatâs just happened. When I see her, I catch a glimpse of the moments to come and I can shut the door on what tears me apart.
I think of Savita tonight, she who saves me from myself.
SAVITA
Iâm afraid tonight. Iâmwalking her home again, but
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