Facing the Music And Living To Talk About It by Nick Carter

determine the course of his or her life.
    I never want to be the victim again. I am so lucky to be out of that mindset. I broke free of it after finally becoming aware that I had to change some things. I had to accept that I needed help, that what I’d been doing wasn’t working. Blaming wasn’t working. I needed to get in position to take control. If I hadn’t made changes and if I don’t stick with them, my life could easily become a tragedy like Leslie’s or like so many others who’ve fallen to drugs, alcohol or despair.
    A key point for me came when I asked a few simple but critical questions:
         •  Is this really who I am?
         •  How did I get to be this way?
         •  Who do I really want to be?
         •  How do I become that person?
    A VICTIM CAN’T SEE BETTER DAYS AHEAD.
    You and I can choose the lives we want. Each of us has that power, but we have to act upon it. We can’t put it to use if we are caught up in the blame game. Sure, maybe we’ve had some bad breaks. Maybe you’ve been abused, or neglected, or have been subjected to violence. Terrible things may have happened to you and I’m sorry for what you’ve suffered and endured. But remember, whatever has happened to you does not define you . You still have the ability to write your own story. It may not come easy. You may have a lot of work to do. But many, many people have overcome terrible events and gone on to do great things. If you want to have a better life, you have to dedicate yourself to pursuing it. That may mean admitting that you don’t have all the answers. You may have to educate yourself, just as you are doing by reading this book, or may have to ask for help.
    LIVING THE DREAM
    Challenges pop up now and then for all of us—sometimes they even occur daily. There may be times when you feel like troubles are just coming at you one right after the other. One positive way to look at this is to keep in mind that dealing with tough times is part of life. In fact, it’s part of being alive .
    Think about it: The only time you won’t have some sort of challenge is when you are dead and buried. As long as we are alive and breathing, we’re going to have to deal with bills, sickness, tough jobs, and relationship troubles. Those challenges are just part of life so you might as well accept them, deal with them, and move on.
    Stuff happens. The good news is that when bad stuff happens, you have a choice in how you deal with it. You can let it send you into a downward spiral, throwing you into that dreaded black hole of despair, or you can rise to the occasion and handle it in a positive way that may very well lead to the best days you’ve ever known.
    Remember the opening scene I described in the introduction? I was standing on stage in Central Park singing with the reunited Backstreet Boys to kick off our 20 th reunion tour. Thousands of people were cheering. The sun was shining. Kevin was with us again. The harmony was back, LOL , (no pun intended).
    YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH.
    I wanted to drop to my knees and scream with joy and gratitude. That great moment would never have happened if I had not finally stopped to examine my life and ask myself what was making me put my entire future at risk. It’s sad that I had to hit bottom before I asked myself the tough questions and made the changes that were truly necessary in my life. But sometimes you have to learn where the bottom is so you can recognize that you don’t want to stay there. Hopefully you will bounce back quicker than I did. I really do believe the best way to learn is through experience, but you should learn in a safe and healthy, non-destructive manner.
    You don’t have to go through what I went through. And believe me, you don’t want to.
    You may have heard it said that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over while expecting different results. If you don’t examine your past, acknowledge