HAVE TO DO IS PUT EACH OF THE THINGS UNDER THE HEADING ’MARINADE’ IN THE WHITE DISH. THEN PUT THE CHICKEN PIECES IN IT, AND COVER IT, AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE. THE CHICKEN PIECES ARE IN THE FRIDGE ALREADY, SO THEY HAVE HAD EXPERIENCE BEING THERE.
I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN DOING THIS.
YOUR MUM
Mum,
The chicken is in the marinade. I had more fun than I ever thought possible.
I’m taking Lochie to the park for a run, and then I have to do a proper run myself. I want to do 10k today, so I won’t be back until around seven. See you then.
Love from Elizabeth
PS I got some new soy sauce on page 124 of your recipe book. You can identify it because it’s kind of in the shape of a cow.
ELIZABETH!!!
THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH FOR MAKING THE MARINADE. IT LOOKS PERFECT. I HAVE PUT IT IN THE OVEN AND IT WILL BE READY AROUND SEVEN THIRTY. HELP YOURSELF (MAKE SOME RICE TO GO WITH IT? THERE ARE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE PACKET) AND SAVE SOME FOR ME.
I HAD TO GO OUT TO AN EMERGENCY MEETING OF THE POETRY CLUB. I’LL BE BACK SOON.
LOVE,
YOUR MUM
Dear Ms Clarry,
You followed that recipe for Oriental Chicken perfectly. The speed with which you grated that ginger, not even really sure whether it was ginger or not! The strength in your wrist when you squeezed the orange!
The rice was a little gluggy but you’ll soon get the knack! Your presentation was magnificent – a sea of rice with the chicken scattered artistically over the top! Perfect! (A glass of cold apple juice was a really thoughtful accompaniment, too.)
Most of all, however, we are impressed by how well you packed that dishwasher after you had finished. Moving the knife-and-fork holder to the far left corner was a stroke of genius – and the way you nestled the plastic dishes underneath the saucepan!!! Heavenly! Blissful!
One day you are sure to join our ranks!
With our Kindest Best Wishes,
Housewives of the World United
PS We are concerned about the Housewifeliness of your mother, though. Imagine dashing out while the Oriental Chicken was cooking! The marinade could have been ruined! How did she know whether you’d be back from your run in time to stop it burning – frizzling into nothing! Maybe you could ask her just what sort of emergency a poetry club has anyway?
Music that catches your soul in a fishnet – The Seaweed Savages play their latest album: Serve up the Shark Bait Platter, Hon.
Friday, July 23rd – Riverside Rathouse, Bundagai,
Saturday, July 24th – Bluemoon Newmoon, Newcatle
Sunday, July 25th – Coogee All-Nighter, Coogee
Monday, July 26th – Kirribilli Fun Parlour
Tuesday, July 27th – Randwick Workers Club
Wednesday, July 28th – Avoca Beach RSL
Thursday, July 29th – Terrigal Surf Lifesaving Club
HEY LIZZY. If the Seaweed Savages hadn’t done so many bloody shows, there’d be room on this postcard to write to you. They played the opening number at the circus last week. The drummer bought Pat and me Orgasms all night, I was sick as a dog . Sorry, no more room, love, Celia.
Dear Elizabeth,
It has come to our attention that, in Celia’s absence from school, you have been hanging around Daniella and Flick. It has also come to our attention that Flick brought a home-waxing kit to school today, and started waxing her legs at lunch-time, and both she and Daniella were hysterical with laughter.
You might not have found it even slightly funny, Elizabeth, but that is no excuse. The idea is to join in laughing anyway: not sit there frowning like a boring bullfrog.
Furthermore, we do not believe that you are going to make much progress in a friendship with that girl called Christina, from Brookfield. Your only hope is to offer her some excellent advice about sex.
Now, how exactly are YOU, of all people, going to manage that?
Perhaps you ought to buy a book?
Yours sincerely,
Handy Hints on How to Make Friends
(A Division of the Best Friends Club)
Click-on, click-off: The Occult
I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN DOING THIS.
YOUR MUM
Mum,
The chicken is in the marinade. I had more fun than I ever thought possible.
I’m taking Lochie to the park for a run, and then I have to do a proper run myself. I want to do 10k today, so I won’t be back until around seven. See you then.
Love from Elizabeth
PS I got some new soy sauce on page 124 of your recipe book. You can identify it because it’s kind of in the shape of a cow.
ELIZABETH!!!
THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH FOR MAKING THE MARINADE. IT LOOKS PERFECT. I HAVE PUT IT IN THE OVEN AND IT WILL BE READY AROUND SEVEN THIRTY. HELP YOURSELF (MAKE SOME RICE TO GO WITH IT? THERE ARE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE PACKET) AND SAVE SOME FOR ME.
I HAD TO GO OUT TO AN EMERGENCY MEETING OF THE POETRY CLUB. I’LL BE BACK SOON.
LOVE,
YOUR MUM
Dear Ms Clarry,
You followed that recipe for Oriental Chicken perfectly. The speed with which you grated that ginger, not even really sure whether it was ginger or not! The strength in your wrist when you squeezed the orange!
The rice was a little gluggy but you’ll soon get the knack! Your presentation was magnificent – a sea of rice with the chicken scattered artistically over the top! Perfect! (A glass of cold apple juice was a really thoughtful accompaniment, too.)
Most of all, however, we are impressed by how well you packed that dishwasher after you had finished. Moving the knife-and-fork holder to the far left corner was a stroke of genius – and the way you nestled the plastic dishes underneath the saucepan!!! Heavenly! Blissful!
One day you are sure to join our ranks!
With our Kindest Best Wishes,
Housewives of the World United
PS We are concerned about the Housewifeliness of your mother, though. Imagine dashing out while the Oriental Chicken was cooking! The marinade could have been ruined! How did she know whether you’d be back from your run in time to stop it burning – frizzling into nothing! Maybe you could ask her just what sort of emergency a poetry club has anyway?
Music that catches your soul in a fishnet – The Seaweed Savages play their latest album: Serve up the Shark Bait Platter, Hon.
Friday, July 23rd – Riverside Rathouse, Bundagai,
Saturday, July 24th – Bluemoon Newmoon, Newcatle
Sunday, July 25th – Coogee All-Nighter, Coogee
Monday, July 26th – Kirribilli Fun Parlour
Tuesday, July 27th – Randwick Workers Club
Wednesday, July 28th – Avoca Beach RSL
Thursday, July 29th – Terrigal Surf Lifesaving Club
HEY LIZZY. If the Seaweed Savages hadn’t done so many bloody shows, there’d be room on this postcard to write to you. They played the opening number at the circus last week. The drummer bought Pat and me Orgasms all night, I was sick as a dog . Sorry, no more room, love, Celia.
Dear Elizabeth,
It has come to our attention that, in Celia’s absence from school, you have been hanging around Daniella and Flick. It has also come to our attention that Flick brought a home-waxing kit to school today, and started waxing her legs at lunch-time, and both she and Daniella were hysterical with laughter.
You might not have found it even slightly funny, Elizabeth, but that is no excuse. The idea is to join in laughing anyway: not sit there frowning like a boring bullfrog.
Furthermore, we do not believe that you are going to make much progress in a friendship with that girl called Christina, from Brookfield. Your only hope is to offer her some excellent advice about sex.
Now, how exactly are YOU, of all people, going to manage that?
Perhaps you ought to buy a book?
Yours sincerely,
Handy Hints on How to Make Friends
(A Division of the Best Friends Club)
Click-on, click-off: The Occult
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