now,” I gave him a sad smile.
“I’m so sorry. What happened next?”
“They literally threw me out the door by my hair and told me to kill myself like my parents did. Maybe I should have gone to the police station or back to the social worker, but they hadn’t helped me to that point, why would they care after that? Anyway, I ran. I scavenged as much as I could for food and tried to find shelter as often as I could.”
“How did you ever manage to survive?” He sounds shocked.
“I did a lot of things that I didn’t like to survive. Many things that others would look down on me for, but it was life or death sometimes. I’m not proud of them, but,” I shrug, “I had to do it.”
“You had to do what you had to do to survive. I’ve come across many people who have no other choice to steal food to feed their family because times were hard. It doesn’t…”
“I gave men my body for money, food or a warm safe place to sleep.” Climbing off his lap, I collected our dishes and carried them into the kitchen.
Resting on the counter with my head hanging between my arms, I try to control the disgust that ran through me every time I thought about the things I’ve done to get to this point. River touches my back and I jerk away from him.
“Don’t. Don’t touch me,” I say as I move out of the room and quickly put my suit and shorts back on.
River had just walked into the bedroom as I walked out. My head was jumbled with all the times, all the men, every piece of me lost in the wind because I was unloveable, unwanted. I tell myself that it was all necessity in order to survive, but it never made the disgust go away.
I walked out of the kitchen doors and off the deck. Going into the trees would be my best way to hide as I broke down for the first time in all the years I’ve been alone.
“Hey pretty girl. What are you doing?”
“Trying to find some food. Do you have some?”
“I do. Would you like some, maybe even a place to sleep for the night?”
It was cold. I heard some people say that the temperature tonight was going to be below zero. Even at my age, I knew I wouldn’t survive. Shelter for the night is exactly what I needed. This man, who looked about as old as my last foster parents, so maybe forty ish, was offering me both food and a warm place to sleep. It’s been almost a week since I’ve had something more than a few slices of bread. Honestly, I don’t remember the last time I had enough to eat that I felt full. I’m not even sure I know what full is anymore.
“You would do that for me? No one else seems to care.”
“Well I do. Come on sweetie, let’s get you warm.”
He led me to a car and we drove for a while before we arrived at this huge house. I’ve never seen a house so big before. This man would not only have food, but lots of it. Excitement started to build inside of me. I was going to be able to eat.
He opened my door and walked next to me as we walked up the steps and into the house.
“Wow,” I breathed as I looked at the entry way of this house.
The man chuckled. “Let me show you where you’ll be sleeping. Then we can get your food. Okay?”
“Yes, please.”
We walked up the staircase that lead in two different directions. He turned left. I’m trying to remember this so I could make it back when I was finished eating. Soon we arrived at a door, he opened it and let me walk inside.
It was huge with a big bed in the center of the room. I wandered around looking in the doors and touching all the nice things.
“Why don’t you take a shower. I’m sure you haven’t been able to bathe properly in a while.”
Looking down in shame, “I don’t have anything else to change into,” I whispered softly.
“I’ll give you one of my shirts. It’ll be really big, but should be good until we can wash these. Right?”
I nodded my head. He told me to go ahead and get in the shower. He’d leave the shirt on the bed for me when I got out. So, I climbed
“I’m so sorry. What happened next?”
“They literally threw me out the door by my hair and told me to kill myself like my parents did. Maybe I should have gone to the police station or back to the social worker, but they hadn’t helped me to that point, why would they care after that? Anyway, I ran. I scavenged as much as I could for food and tried to find shelter as often as I could.”
“How did you ever manage to survive?” He sounds shocked.
“I did a lot of things that I didn’t like to survive. Many things that others would look down on me for, but it was life or death sometimes. I’m not proud of them, but,” I shrug, “I had to do it.”
“You had to do what you had to do to survive. I’ve come across many people who have no other choice to steal food to feed their family because times were hard. It doesn’t…”
“I gave men my body for money, food or a warm safe place to sleep.” Climbing off his lap, I collected our dishes and carried them into the kitchen.
Resting on the counter with my head hanging between my arms, I try to control the disgust that ran through me every time I thought about the things I’ve done to get to this point. River touches my back and I jerk away from him.
“Don’t. Don’t touch me,” I say as I move out of the room and quickly put my suit and shorts back on.
River had just walked into the bedroom as I walked out. My head was jumbled with all the times, all the men, every piece of me lost in the wind because I was unloveable, unwanted. I tell myself that it was all necessity in order to survive, but it never made the disgust go away.
I walked out of the kitchen doors and off the deck. Going into the trees would be my best way to hide as I broke down for the first time in all the years I’ve been alone.
“Hey pretty girl. What are you doing?”
“Trying to find some food. Do you have some?”
“I do. Would you like some, maybe even a place to sleep for the night?”
It was cold. I heard some people say that the temperature tonight was going to be below zero. Even at my age, I knew I wouldn’t survive. Shelter for the night is exactly what I needed. This man, who looked about as old as my last foster parents, so maybe forty ish, was offering me both food and a warm place to sleep. It’s been almost a week since I’ve had something more than a few slices of bread. Honestly, I don’t remember the last time I had enough to eat that I felt full. I’m not even sure I know what full is anymore.
“You would do that for me? No one else seems to care.”
“Well I do. Come on sweetie, let’s get you warm.”
He led me to a car and we drove for a while before we arrived at this huge house. I’ve never seen a house so big before. This man would not only have food, but lots of it. Excitement started to build inside of me. I was going to be able to eat.
He opened my door and walked next to me as we walked up the steps and into the house.
“Wow,” I breathed as I looked at the entry way of this house.
The man chuckled. “Let me show you where you’ll be sleeping. Then we can get your food. Okay?”
“Yes, please.”
We walked up the staircase that lead in two different directions. He turned left. I’m trying to remember this so I could make it back when I was finished eating. Soon we arrived at a door, he opened it and let me walk inside.
It was huge with a big bed in the center of the room. I wandered around looking in the doors and touching all the nice things.
“Why don’t you take a shower. I’m sure you haven’t been able to bathe properly in a while.”
Looking down in shame, “I don’t have anything else to change into,” I whispered softly.
“I’ll give you one of my shirts. It’ll be really big, but should be good until we can wash these. Right?”
I nodded my head. He told me to go ahead and get in the shower. He’d leave the shirt on the bed for me when I got out. So, I climbed
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