wanted to punish you for kissing Lucas. I realized I needed to change tactics and make love to you because a child should be born in love, not anger. I knew exactly what I was doing when I didn’t wear any protection. If I don’t end up having a son, I want one with you. A girl would be amazing too. She would have your beautiful brown eyes and I would even love it if she had your temper. The house might be a warzone but I’d love every second of it,” he says smiling.
“I want the life I never had growing up. A family to call my own. One that I can wake up to and go to sleep loving, knowing that I’m loved by them as well. Tell me you want that too, Emma. I don’t want it all without you.”
I do want those things , Aiden. He forgets that I’ve had this conversation before but with Jeremiah. He wanted a family so badly before he passed away. We tried as hard as we could but I just wasn’t able to conceive.
How can Aiden want this with me? After only a week? How can he be so sure that I’m the one , the mother of his future children? Can I truly be with him? What if I lose him? It will be the same as when Jeremiah died. The only difference is that he will permanently break me. I won’t be able to recover if I lose him. I can’t take the chance. At least not right now. Too much is at stake.
“Look, you need to figure this thing out with Jessica and your son. She obviously knows about us and is not too pleased about it. Maybe someone that lives here told her about us, I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t come between you and your son. If I’m in the picture right now, she might get back at you and make things even harder. She seems like she’s capable of anything. I just can’t do this, Aiden,” I say dejectedly.
“So that’s it? You don’t want to be with me anymore?” he asks harshly.
“It’s not that simple and you know it. It’s not just you and me to worry about anymore. I just…” I say frustrated, trying to make him understand.
“You just what?” he says dejected.
“I just don’t fucking trust you, okay?! You kept me in the dark and lied to me, Aiden. I don’t know if I can get past that.”
“You think trust comes easy for me, Emma? You lied to me too, remember? I let it go and forgave you. Fuck, I still think you’re hiding things from me and I’m okay with that because I love you. All I know is that you’re scared and you’re fighting me. You still don’t believe I love you and it’s because all of the shit I’ve put you through,” he says, rubbing his neck roughly. “I take all the blame, you know. My father was right. All these years he was fucking right about me being a pain in the ass. Maybe I’m not worthy of love. Maybe I’m unlovable,” he chuckles bitterly.
“No, Aiden. That’s not true! You are worthy of love and I…I just think we need a break for a while,” I say finally.
He looks at me acutely, his eyes bloodshot and intense. Is he trying to read me? I try to mask my face from his intense stare. If he knows that I love him, he won’t walk away from me. I need him to for his son. I won’t make him choose between us. I know that I’m one of the reasons that Jessica is making things difficult for him.
“That look is you giving up, isn’t it? You don’t need me,” he spit out. “Well, I’ll tell you something, Emma. I’m still not giving up on us. You may think that I’ve completely lost it and I probably have. Everyone in my life has left or rejected me in some way but I won’t let that happen with you. You’re worth the fight, just remember that. You might not see me around for a while but just know that I will never stop loving you. Never think that I’ll hurt you again, because I vow to show you how much I believe in us,” he says, looking away from me.
“Just please tell me if you find out your pregnant, Emma. After all that’s happened to me, I need to know if I have a child on the way,” he says, closing his eyes.
“I
“I want the life I never had growing up. A family to call my own. One that I can wake up to and go to sleep loving, knowing that I’m loved by them as well. Tell me you want that too, Emma. I don’t want it all without you.”
I do want those things , Aiden. He forgets that I’ve had this conversation before but with Jeremiah. He wanted a family so badly before he passed away. We tried as hard as we could but I just wasn’t able to conceive.
How can Aiden want this with me? After only a week? How can he be so sure that I’m the one , the mother of his future children? Can I truly be with him? What if I lose him? It will be the same as when Jeremiah died. The only difference is that he will permanently break me. I won’t be able to recover if I lose him. I can’t take the chance. At least not right now. Too much is at stake.
“Look, you need to figure this thing out with Jessica and your son. She obviously knows about us and is not too pleased about it. Maybe someone that lives here told her about us, I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t come between you and your son. If I’m in the picture right now, she might get back at you and make things even harder. She seems like she’s capable of anything. I just can’t do this, Aiden,” I say dejectedly.
“So that’s it? You don’t want to be with me anymore?” he asks harshly.
“It’s not that simple and you know it. It’s not just you and me to worry about anymore. I just…” I say frustrated, trying to make him understand.
“You just what?” he says dejected.
“I just don’t fucking trust you, okay?! You kept me in the dark and lied to me, Aiden. I don’t know if I can get past that.”
“You think trust comes easy for me, Emma? You lied to me too, remember? I let it go and forgave you. Fuck, I still think you’re hiding things from me and I’m okay with that because I love you. All I know is that you’re scared and you’re fighting me. You still don’t believe I love you and it’s because all of the shit I’ve put you through,” he says, rubbing his neck roughly. “I take all the blame, you know. My father was right. All these years he was fucking right about me being a pain in the ass. Maybe I’m not worthy of love. Maybe I’m unlovable,” he chuckles bitterly.
“No, Aiden. That’s not true! You are worthy of love and I…I just think we need a break for a while,” I say finally.
He looks at me acutely, his eyes bloodshot and intense. Is he trying to read me? I try to mask my face from his intense stare. If he knows that I love him, he won’t walk away from me. I need him to for his son. I won’t make him choose between us. I know that I’m one of the reasons that Jessica is making things difficult for him.
“That look is you giving up, isn’t it? You don’t need me,” he spit out. “Well, I’ll tell you something, Emma. I’m still not giving up on us. You may think that I’ve completely lost it and I probably have. Everyone in my life has left or rejected me in some way but I won’t let that happen with you. You’re worth the fight, just remember that. You might not see me around for a while but just know that I will never stop loving you. Never think that I’ll hurt you again, because I vow to show you how much I believe in us,” he says, looking away from me.
“Just please tell me if you find out your pregnant, Emma. After all that’s happened to me, I need to know if I have a child on the way,” he says, closing his eyes.
“I
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