not that naive.
“At first I believed her wholeheartedly and then I started having my doubts. I was able to think clearly after the shock of it, and I think she noticed my wavering. She pulled out a picture of him and…fuck, Emma, he looks just like me when I was a kid. He’s practically my double,” he says, his eyes tearing up.
“Yeah, maybe she just found a picture of some child that looked like me but if it isn’t? What if he’s mine, Emma? Don’t you think I should do everything in my power to find out? If he is , I’ll take care of him. My mom always wanted grandchildren and now I can give her this. She may not be alive to see me as a dad but I have to do this, for her and for him,” he says.
I sigh loudly, aggravated by the turn of events but equally proud that he’s stepping up to the plate. He’s doing the right thing by trying to find out the truth. It just fucking sucks that I’m caught in the middle of all of this. I’m still pissed that he never said he was married . I get why he hid it but still. How can I ever trust him again?
“You’re totally right, Aiden. You ne ed to find out if he’s your son,” I say truthfully.
Aiden was right when he told me that I would feel foolish. I feel like the biggest fucking bitch ever. I never gave him a chance to explain or defend himself. I should have known. Deep down in my heart I should have known that he would never hurt me intentionally. He promised he wouldn’t and I didn’t have the faith I should have. He still doesn’t know my little secret and that makes me feel guilty.
“What are you going to do? Just wait until she doesn’t want anything more from you? We both know that she won’t ever stop,” I say exasperated.
“Fuck no. I got in contact with a private detective this morning and talked to my lawyer. They know the whole story and will fight with me to get him. She underestimates me. She remembers the old me, the one who never fought for anything. I would just give in and not give a shit about anything. I have things to fight for now. You and my…my son,” he says, his voice thick with emotion.
I move my hand up to his cheek, feeling the coarse stubble already growing back on his face. I smile, remembering only a few days ago that he shaved off his beard. Only a few days ago when times were much simpler. Oh, how the times have changed. He has a little boy to worry about and he doesn’t need me to mess anything up. His son is his first priority and I need to step aside. I frown, realizing what I have to do for him and for me.
“What Emma? What ’s that look, baby?” he asks, genuinely concerned.
“This. Us. Ugh, I’ve never been in a situation like this and you’re right,” I say to him.
He looks confused and realize that I’ll have to explain myself.
“You said that it’ s not our time right now and you’re right. It may never be our time, Aiden. Do you see how much shit has happened to both of us? Ever since we’ve known each other, things have crumbled down around us. It’s almost as if the universe is telling us that we’re not meant to be. You need to find out if you have a son and you don’t need me in the background waiting for you. Let’s say you do find him and everything works out. What about us? We’re toxic together and we can’t bring a child into all of our bullshit,” I say truthfully.
“ I was wrong, Emma. It will always be our time. You think that it doesn’t freak me the fuck out, taking care of another human being? I’ll have to love him and teach him about the world when I can barely survive in it. I can’t do this without you. Don’t do this to me, to us. Don’t push me away because you’re scared of the unknown. We can be scared together. You’d be a wonderful mother, Emma. You have so much love to give if you would just let go of your fear. Life is too short. If you're afraid of falling, then you're afraid of living. Fight with me, Emma. ”
“I hurt you earlier because I
“At first I believed her wholeheartedly and then I started having my doubts. I was able to think clearly after the shock of it, and I think she noticed my wavering. She pulled out a picture of him and…fuck, Emma, he looks just like me when I was a kid. He’s practically my double,” he says, his eyes tearing up.
“Yeah, maybe she just found a picture of some child that looked like me but if it isn’t? What if he’s mine, Emma? Don’t you think I should do everything in my power to find out? If he is , I’ll take care of him. My mom always wanted grandchildren and now I can give her this. She may not be alive to see me as a dad but I have to do this, for her and for him,” he says.
I sigh loudly, aggravated by the turn of events but equally proud that he’s stepping up to the plate. He’s doing the right thing by trying to find out the truth. It just fucking sucks that I’m caught in the middle of all of this. I’m still pissed that he never said he was married . I get why he hid it but still. How can I ever trust him again?
“You’re totally right, Aiden. You ne ed to find out if he’s your son,” I say truthfully.
Aiden was right when he told me that I would feel foolish. I feel like the biggest fucking bitch ever. I never gave him a chance to explain or defend himself. I should have known. Deep down in my heart I should have known that he would never hurt me intentionally. He promised he wouldn’t and I didn’t have the faith I should have. He still doesn’t know my little secret and that makes me feel guilty.
“What are you going to do? Just wait until she doesn’t want anything more from you? We both know that she won’t ever stop,” I say exasperated.
“Fuck no. I got in contact with a private detective this morning and talked to my lawyer. They know the whole story and will fight with me to get him. She underestimates me. She remembers the old me, the one who never fought for anything. I would just give in and not give a shit about anything. I have things to fight for now. You and my…my son,” he says, his voice thick with emotion.
I move my hand up to his cheek, feeling the coarse stubble already growing back on his face. I smile, remembering only a few days ago that he shaved off his beard. Only a few days ago when times were much simpler. Oh, how the times have changed. He has a little boy to worry about and he doesn’t need me to mess anything up. His son is his first priority and I need to step aside. I frown, realizing what I have to do for him and for me.
“What Emma? What ’s that look, baby?” he asks, genuinely concerned.
“This. Us. Ugh, I’ve never been in a situation like this and you’re right,” I say to him.
He looks confused and realize that I’ll have to explain myself.
“You said that it’ s not our time right now and you’re right. It may never be our time, Aiden. Do you see how much shit has happened to both of us? Ever since we’ve known each other, things have crumbled down around us. It’s almost as if the universe is telling us that we’re not meant to be. You need to find out if you have a son and you don’t need me in the background waiting for you. Let’s say you do find him and everything works out. What about us? We’re toxic together and we can’t bring a child into all of our bullshit,” I say truthfully.
“ I was wrong, Emma. It will always be our time. You think that it doesn’t freak me the fuck out, taking care of another human being? I’ll have to love him and teach him about the world when I can barely survive in it. I can’t do this without you. Don’t do this to me, to us. Don’t push me away because you’re scared of the unknown. We can be scared together. You’d be a wonderful mother, Emma. You have so much love to give if you would just let go of your fear. Life is too short. If you're afraid of falling, then you're afraid of living. Fight with me, Emma. ”
“I hurt you earlier because I
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