Fighting the Flames by Leslie Johnson

especially her happiness. “So what’s the plan for today?” she asked, pulling away.
    “There’s this great little bistro down in the business district. I thought we could go get some breakfast, then wander around downtown, do some shopping, maybe catch a movie.”
    She smiled. “That sounds great. Let me grab a sweater, it’s always cold in the theater.”
    Half an hour later, they were seated at a small wrought iron table outside of Le Bistro. The atmosphere was cozy and welcoming. She liked it immediately. Ryan took her hand and brought it to his mouth, giving her knuckles a light kiss. He smiled. “You look beautiful, Jess.”
    “Thank you.” She blushed, but held his gaze. His eyes were so green, so vibrant and intense… and completely focused on her. There could be naked women parading around their tables, and she wondered if he’d even notice. The waitress arrived, and they placed their orders. “This place is great,” Jessie said, looking around.
    “There’s no reason to be nervous,” he said.
    Jessie laughed. He had nailed it: She was nervous. She didn’t know why. Maybe it was because this was the first time in three years they’d spent time together outside the bedroom. Or maybe it was because she knew she had to tell him what she’d failed to say last night. It was going to break his heart, and she hated that. But she vowed to stay true to herself, and getting involved with Ryan wouldn’t accomplish that.
    “You look like you’re lost,” Ryan said, giving her hand a squeeze. “What’s on your mind?”
    “Nothing, really.” She shrugged. “I was just wondering what you’ve been up to these past few years.”
    “Thinking about you, wondering if I’d ever see you again,” he said.
    “Why didn’t you look for me?” Shit, the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. She looked down at the table, wishing she could take them back.
    “Jess, you left me…”
    “I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
    “Is that what you wanted, for me to go looking for you? Was it a test?”
    Was it? She wasn’t really sure but shook her head in denial anyway. “No, of course not. It’s really best that you didn’t. I was pretty messed up at the time.”
    “Why were you messed up?” The look in his eyes were so earnest, Jessie nose began to burn with building tears. She blinked rapidly and looked around.
    “Not here. Please. I don’t want to talk about all that in public. Just know I thought about you too.” There was no use lying to him. In fact, she wanted to be completely honest with him. It was time to put the past behind them so they could both move on.
    Ryan took a deep breath and looked like he was going to press the point but then he exhaled and asked, “Then what do you want to talk about?”
    Relieved, she went for a neutral subject. “What have you been up to?”
    “I’ve kept busy with work.” He said, his eyes boring into hers, still waiting for her to answer the questions that lingered between them.
    “I’m surprised you’re not married with a couple kids by now.” She took a sip of her tea and waited for him to answer. Not that she really wanted to hear about his past relationships, but if it meant she didn’t have to explain why she left, she’d listen to anything.
    His forehead wrinkled and he shifted in his seat, suddenly looking very uncomfortable. “I’ve dated a few women on and off, but there’s never been anything serious with any of them.” He grazed his thumb across her knuckles. “What about you?”
    It was now or never. Her heart raced and her palms were sweating. She was suddenly rethinking her decision to be honest. Yeah, she was chicken shit. “There was a guy, Derrick; he and I were pretty serious with for a while. We were talking marriage.”
    “What happened?”
    “He cheated on me.” She averted her gaze for a moment. “No, he didn’t just cheat. He had an entire relationship with the other woman. I loved