Mrs. Houchens for English Lit and Mr. Regan for Science. He’s a crotchety old guy but knows his stuff.”
“Thanks! Not that I have any control over it, but at least I know what I’m headed into,” I tell him as I refill our drinks.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he says with a wink. I wish he wouldn’t do that. I had been uncomfortable with Will at first, but all that has been disappearing. Those giddy butterflies have migrated and no longer take residence in the pit of my stomach. When he looks at me that way, the butterflies start flying back.
Will and I are becoming friends and that makes me happier than I would have expected. Will is smart and funny , and he’s a legitimately nice guy. He makes me feel at ease. I’m not concerned with impressing him…not that I could begin to have the first clue as to how to do that. Will isn’t at all like I thought he was going to be. He doesn’t act rich, and he’s been doing manual labor for Luke – a very un rich thing to do in my mind. I did to him what I accuse his class of people of doing to me: I judged him, and feel badly about that. I’m glad I’ve had a chance to see this side of him. Perhaps I won’t be so alone at Heyward after all.
I finished reading my book during my first week here, but still haven’t picked out anything new. I find myself sitting at the edge of the dock for hours at a time most days. I take in the beauty of the lake, breathe deeply, lie back on the dock, and close my eyes. In all my life I have never known a more peaceful place, geographically or mentally. I feel…alive…which makes me feel guilty. Didn’t I feel alive and at peace in Florida with Mom and Dad, or Gram and Gramps? No…well, yes and no. Living with Mom and Dad was truly living. Living with Gram and Gramps? I wasn’t meant to feel alive then. That was Gram’s point. Penance.
This is so different. This is the first time I’ve ever really thought about me. What am I feeling? What do I want? Mom and dad always supported any activity I wanted to participate in, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I flew wherever the wind blew them . Dad’s units on kinesthesia volleyed me into soccer, lacrosse, and tennis. Mom’s semester of Shakespeare and play adaptations led to my auditioning for every local play I could. I was never cast into anything – I was terrible, but mom joyfully helped me prepare and took me to each audition. If it was an election year, well…Dad and Mom were more passionate about politics than anyone I knew. They had strong opinions about everything and never hesitated to make them known. They rallied and joined campaigns to support both local and national candidates, and they were the first ones at the polls on voting day. Naturally, I ran for class president during the 2004 election. I lost to Amber Riley.
Reading, though…that was a shared activity that was genuinely mine. Mom always said that reading a book was far better than watching any movie. I loved going to the movies, but she was right. A book can tell you all the emotions and subtext that are so rarely aptly portrayed in film. You understand the nuances of each character. You breathe every breath with them and cry every tear. Yes, reading. That is something special that I shared with my mother, but something I owned totally and completely in my own heart.
Chapter 5
I’ve put it off long enough. It’s time to appease Claire and give her some girl time and go shopping. She has been so patient with me and seems to have really been looking forward to it. She was definitely disappointed when I shot her down the day after I arrived. She’s been so kind and generous to me in the time she’s given me to be alone. I don’t feel like I can deny her any longer and she is thrilled when I make the suggestion.
We make our way through the neighborhood and I finally see how beautiful it is. The streets are lined with maple trees, flowering bushes, and sidewalks. I
“Thanks! Not that I have any control over it, but at least I know what I’m headed into,” I tell him as I refill our drinks.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he says with a wink. I wish he wouldn’t do that. I had been uncomfortable with Will at first, but all that has been disappearing. Those giddy butterflies have migrated and no longer take residence in the pit of my stomach. When he looks at me that way, the butterflies start flying back.
Will and I are becoming friends and that makes me happier than I would have expected. Will is smart and funny , and he’s a legitimately nice guy. He makes me feel at ease. I’m not concerned with impressing him…not that I could begin to have the first clue as to how to do that. Will isn’t at all like I thought he was going to be. He doesn’t act rich, and he’s been doing manual labor for Luke – a very un rich thing to do in my mind. I did to him what I accuse his class of people of doing to me: I judged him, and feel badly about that. I’m glad I’ve had a chance to see this side of him. Perhaps I won’t be so alone at Heyward after all.
I finished reading my book during my first week here, but still haven’t picked out anything new. I find myself sitting at the edge of the dock for hours at a time most days. I take in the beauty of the lake, breathe deeply, lie back on the dock, and close my eyes. In all my life I have never known a more peaceful place, geographically or mentally. I feel…alive…which makes me feel guilty. Didn’t I feel alive and at peace in Florida with Mom and Dad, or Gram and Gramps? No…well, yes and no. Living with Mom and Dad was truly living. Living with Gram and Gramps? I wasn’t meant to feel alive then. That was Gram’s point. Penance.
This is so different. This is the first time I’ve ever really thought about me. What am I feeling? What do I want? Mom and dad always supported any activity I wanted to participate in, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I flew wherever the wind blew them . Dad’s units on kinesthesia volleyed me into soccer, lacrosse, and tennis. Mom’s semester of Shakespeare and play adaptations led to my auditioning for every local play I could. I was never cast into anything – I was terrible, but mom joyfully helped me prepare and took me to each audition. If it was an election year, well…Dad and Mom were more passionate about politics than anyone I knew. They had strong opinions about everything and never hesitated to make them known. They rallied and joined campaigns to support both local and national candidates, and they were the first ones at the polls on voting day. Naturally, I ran for class president during the 2004 election. I lost to Amber Riley.
Reading, though…that was a shared activity that was genuinely mine. Mom always said that reading a book was far better than watching any movie. I loved going to the movies, but she was right. A book can tell you all the emotions and subtext that are so rarely aptly portrayed in film. You understand the nuances of each character. You breathe every breath with them and cry every tear. Yes, reading. That is something special that I shared with my mother, but something I owned totally and completely in my own heart.
Chapter 5
I’ve put it off long enough. It’s time to appease Claire and give her some girl time and go shopping. She has been so patient with me and seems to have really been looking forward to it. She was definitely disappointed when I shot her down the day after I arrived. She’s been so kind and generous to me in the time she’s given me to be alone. I don’t feel like I can deny her any longer and she is thrilled when I make the suggestion.
We make our way through the neighborhood and I finally see how beautiful it is. The streets are lined with maple trees, flowering bushes, and sidewalks. I
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