say something you know is true, but you don’t feel it yet, like a déjà vu in your head before your heart feels it, too.
Kate looked up, hopeful. But then a cloud of doubt entered her face. “Mom told me about what happened with Grandma. I’m really sorry. Grandma can be such a bitch.” Unlike our mother, my sister had no problem with her
f
and
b
words. “Anyhow, I just want you to know that you’re my sister and nobody but nobody can take that away.” The hug she gave me was a serious bone cruncher.
“Hey,” I said smiling when we broke away. “Remember? Joined for life?”
“You said it,” Kate said, giving me a firm nod. But her gaze faltered when it fell on The Box.
Every time Pablo came over, Nate appropriated him. For years, Nate had been asking Mom and Dad for a brother, and finally he had gotten what he asked for—or even better, an
older
brother who played video games much better than his sisters.
“Poor Pablo,” Em commiserated one afternoon. She and Meredith and I were sitting at the kitchen table. From the family room came sounds of some video explosion.
“Poor us, you mean,” Meredith added. Em had told me—though I was not to let on that I knew—that Meredith had a crush on Pablo. Big secret. Why else was Meredith always hanging out with us these days?
“Ay, ay, ay,” Pablo cried out as if mortally wounded. He was letting Nate clobber him, we could tell. He had to be sick of spending hours playing video games with an eight-year-old. I mean, Pablo was almost seventeen. His birthday was in April. He was a Taurus. Meredith and Em had been quizzing him on his life story.
“I won, I won!” Nate shouted.
Meredith sighed for the umpteenth time. Her next comment caught me by surprise. “So is everyone from your country good-looking?”
“
This
is my country,” I said, flashing Em a look. I had asked her to keep my adoption story private. Why had she told her friend?
Meredith stiffened. “I mean . . . you know what I mean.”
Em was capping and uncapping her water bottle nervously. The cap fell and rolled across the room—we followed it with our gaze to where Pablo was standing at the doorway. We all kind of jumped. Had he heard us talking about his native country?
“Hey, Pablo!” Em waved him over. She sounded relieved.
“So, did Donkey Kong getcha?” Meredith flirted as he sat down.
“Donkey Kong, Spider-Man, Zelda—I was defeated in every game,” Pablo announced loudly. Then casting a glance over his shoulder, he lowered his voice. “I have finally won my freedom. Nate says that I play as bad as a girl!”
“Hey!” Em, Meredith, and I shouted together. It was the tension breaker we all needed. Everyone laughed.
Later that night, Em called. “I’m sorry, Mil. But Meredith’s my friend and I didn’t think it would matter.”
“I wish you’d at least have asked first,” I said, like protocol was the problem, not Em’s big mouth.
“It’s not like it’s some awful, shameful secret. And this is a small town, you know?” Em argued.
“So does
everyone
know?” I asked. Is that what she was trying to tell me by saying Ralston was small?
“I swear I only told Meredith, and I guess I told Jake—”
“Em!” What a fool I’d been to think my secret was safe with Em! She had always been a blabbermouth, but still, I couldn’t help feeling betrayed.
“I said I was sorry, okay?” Em pleaded. “Mil?”
“It’s okay,” I finally told her, wishing I meant it. “I’ve gotta go.” I hung up before she could apologize again.
Even though I was seeing Pablo more now, we weren’t ever together, just the two of us. People were always around, friends at school, my family. But then one afternoon, I found myself riding home alone on the bus with him. It was a Thursday, Mrs. Bolívar was working late; Kate had chorus; Nate, his hockey practice; and Em, well, I admit, things hadn’t been the same since the afternoon with Meredith. We were still friendly
Kate looked up, hopeful. But then a cloud of doubt entered her face. “Mom told me about what happened with Grandma. I’m really sorry. Grandma can be such a bitch.” Unlike our mother, my sister had no problem with her
f
and
b
words. “Anyhow, I just want you to know that you’re my sister and nobody but nobody can take that away.” The hug she gave me was a serious bone cruncher.
“Hey,” I said smiling when we broke away. “Remember? Joined for life?”
“You said it,” Kate said, giving me a firm nod. But her gaze faltered when it fell on The Box.
Every time Pablo came over, Nate appropriated him. For years, Nate had been asking Mom and Dad for a brother, and finally he had gotten what he asked for—or even better, an
older
brother who played video games much better than his sisters.
“Poor Pablo,” Em commiserated one afternoon. She and Meredith and I were sitting at the kitchen table. From the family room came sounds of some video explosion.
“Poor us, you mean,” Meredith added. Em had told me—though I was not to let on that I knew—that Meredith had a crush on Pablo. Big secret. Why else was Meredith always hanging out with us these days?
“Ay, ay, ay,” Pablo cried out as if mortally wounded. He was letting Nate clobber him, we could tell. He had to be sick of spending hours playing video games with an eight-year-old. I mean, Pablo was almost seventeen. His birthday was in April. He was a Taurus. Meredith and Em had been quizzing him on his life story.
“I won, I won!” Nate shouted.
Meredith sighed for the umpteenth time. Her next comment caught me by surprise. “So is everyone from your country good-looking?”
“
This
is my country,” I said, flashing Em a look. I had asked her to keep my adoption story private. Why had she told her friend?
Meredith stiffened. “I mean . . . you know what I mean.”
Em was capping and uncapping her water bottle nervously. The cap fell and rolled across the room—we followed it with our gaze to where Pablo was standing at the doorway. We all kind of jumped. Had he heard us talking about his native country?
“Hey, Pablo!” Em waved him over. She sounded relieved.
“So, did Donkey Kong getcha?” Meredith flirted as he sat down.
“Donkey Kong, Spider-Man, Zelda—I was defeated in every game,” Pablo announced loudly. Then casting a glance over his shoulder, he lowered his voice. “I have finally won my freedom. Nate says that I play as bad as a girl!”
“Hey!” Em, Meredith, and I shouted together. It was the tension breaker we all needed. Everyone laughed.
Later that night, Em called. “I’m sorry, Mil. But Meredith’s my friend and I didn’t think it would matter.”
“I wish you’d at least have asked first,” I said, like protocol was the problem, not Em’s big mouth.
“It’s not like it’s some awful, shameful secret. And this is a small town, you know?” Em argued.
“So does
everyone
know?” I asked. Is that what she was trying to tell me by saying Ralston was small?
“I swear I only told Meredith, and I guess I told Jake—”
“Em!” What a fool I’d been to think my secret was safe with Em! She had always been a blabbermouth, but still, I couldn’t help feeling betrayed.
“I said I was sorry, okay?” Em pleaded. “Mil?”
“It’s okay,” I finally told her, wishing I meant it. “I’ve gotta go.” I hung up before she could apologize again.
Even though I was seeing Pablo more now, we weren’t ever together, just the two of us. People were always around, friends at school, my family. But then one afternoon, I found myself riding home alone on the bus with him. It was a Thursday, Mrs. Bolívar was working late; Kate had chorus; Nate, his hockey practice; and Em, well, I admit, things hadn’t been the same since the afternoon with Meredith. We were still friendly
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