toastie, or not?’
‘No thanks, I had a big smoothie in the deli round the corner before I came in.’
Unable to resist Jack smirked and said, ‘I usually have one of them after a good night out on the Guinness.’
‘ Pull … eeeese, that’s way too much information.’
‘Sorry Annie, my ex tells me I’m at a difficult age. Look it’s really nice outside, why don’t you put your jacket on and we’ll combine a walk with some more training.’
Chapter 9
As Jack and Annie walked into a nearby city centre park, Jack paused briefly to tickle the ears of a small dog, whose lead was tethered to a bench at the entrance. ‘Okay, an essential skill for any private detective is the ability to conduct effective covert surveillance and part of that skill is the classic foot pursuit, which sounds simple but isn’t, especially if you’re working on your own. So that’s what you’re going to be practicing this morning, Annie. I’ll be the target, so you give me exactly one minute of a start and then try to tail me along the main path through the park, without me seeing you. Got it?’
Annie was quietly confident and said, ‘Yes boss, I’ll be like a shadow flitting across the sun.’
‘Of course, if your target is anyone under thirty, doing this is a piece of cake. The way young people wander around like zombies, looking at their mobile phones all the time, you don’t need to do anything terribly clever when you’re tailing them. In fact you could be walking two feet behind them stark naked, with a bright flashing light strapped to your head and an ostrich feather sticking out of your arse, and they wouldn’t even notice.’
‘Lady Gaga beat you to it, boss. I’m sure she did that one on her last tour.’
‘Okay then, listen up. I’m well over thirty and I won’t be staring at my phone, so you wait one minute, then begin. And remember, no cheating.’
Jack walked briskly away and, once out of sight round a bend, he left the main path and concealed himself in the middle of a patch of dense undergrowth, to observe how his protégé would deal with an unexpected change of plan, and then muttered to himself, ‘Okay, let’s see if Ms bloody WiFi Bluetooth can find me in here .’ After the required one minute interval, Annie quickly followed along the path, but Jack was nowhere to be seen. Anxious not to fail such an apparently simple test, she began to jog while scanning the numerous small trails leading off from either side of the main path.
After several minutes of searching she paused, frustrated, with hands on hips and looked around a full three hundred and sixty degrees and exclaimed, ‘He can’t have come this far, no way. He’s either been mugged, or the old fool’s fallen down a hole somewhere.’
Resigned to going back to the car and waiting, she began to retrace her steps along the path when she heard the sound of breaking branches and Jack’s raised voice, clearly in some distress. Thinking that her boss was either being robbed, or having a heart attack, Annie ran round to the other side of a thick clump of bushes, following Jack’s voice, where she found him frantically hopping around in circles, as a small wiry mongrel enthusiastically dry-humped his leg.
Feigning embarrassment at catching Jack in flagrante delicto, Annie sensed that this was perfect payback time for Jack’s constant teasing. ‘Boss … I’m so sorry. I know that you said every man’s got to have a hobby. Look, I’ll come back later, okay. When you two are finished.’
Red faced and sweating profusely, Jack squealed, ‘Get this bastard dog … off my leg.’
Thoroughly enjoying winding Jack up, Annie merely simpered and said, ‘Oh look, it’s sooo cute. What’s his name?’
‘I don’t fucking know, we haven’t been introduced.’
Anniethen s hrugged and said, straight-faced, ‘Okay, I get it, for you it’s just quick anonymous sex in the park. Hey, whatever , I’m not, like, judging anyone here.’ Taking out her
‘No thanks, I had a big smoothie in the deli round the corner before I came in.’
Unable to resist Jack smirked and said, ‘I usually have one of them after a good night out on the Guinness.’
‘ Pull … eeeese, that’s way too much information.’
‘Sorry Annie, my ex tells me I’m at a difficult age. Look it’s really nice outside, why don’t you put your jacket on and we’ll combine a walk with some more training.’
Chapter 9
As Jack and Annie walked into a nearby city centre park, Jack paused briefly to tickle the ears of a small dog, whose lead was tethered to a bench at the entrance. ‘Okay, an essential skill for any private detective is the ability to conduct effective covert surveillance and part of that skill is the classic foot pursuit, which sounds simple but isn’t, especially if you’re working on your own. So that’s what you’re going to be practicing this morning, Annie. I’ll be the target, so you give me exactly one minute of a start and then try to tail me along the main path through the park, without me seeing you. Got it?’
Annie was quietly confident and said, ‘Yes boss, I’ll be like a shadow flitting across the sun.’
‘Of course, if your target is anyone under thirty, doing this is a piece of cake. The way young people wander around like zombies, looking at their mobile phones all the time, you don’t need to do anything terribly clever when you’re tailing them. In fact you could be walking two feet behind them stark naked, with a bright flashing light strapped to your head and an ostrich feather sticking out of your arse, and they wouldn’t even notice.’
‘Lady Gaga beat you to it, boss. I’m sure she did that one on her last tour.’
‘Okay then, listen up. I’m well over thirty and I won’t be staring at my phone, so you wait one minute, then begin. And remember, no cheating.’
Jack walked briskly away and, once out of sight round a bend, he left the main path and concealed himself in the middle of a patch of dense undergrowth, to observe how his protégé would deal with an unexpected change of plan, and then muttered to himself, ‘Okay, let’s see if Ms bloody WiFi Bluetooth can find me in here .’ After the required one minute interval, Annie quickly followed along the path, but Jack was nowhere to be seen. Anxious not to fail such an apparently simple test, she began to jog while scanning the numerous small trails leading off from either side of the main path.
After several minutes of searching she paused, frustrated, with hands on hips and looked around a full three hundred and sixty degrees and exclaimed, ‘He can’t have come this far, no way. He’s either been mugged, or the old fool’s fallen down a hole somewhere.’
Resigned to going back to the car and waiting, she began to retrace her steps along the path when she heard the sound of breaking branches and Jack’s raised voice, clearly in some distress. Thinking that her boss was either being robbed, or having a heart attack, Annie ran round to the other side of a thick clump of bushes, following Jack’s voice, where she found him frantically hopping around in circles, as a small wiry mongrel enthusiastically dry-humped his leg.
Feigning embarrassment at catching Jack in flagrante delicto, Annie sensed that this was perfect payback time for Jack’s constant teasing. ‘Boss … I’m so sorry. I know that you said every man’s got to have a hobby. Look, I’ll come back later, okay. When you two are finished.’
Red faced and sweating profusely, Jack squealed, ‘Get this bastard dog … off my leg.’
Thoroughly enjoying winding Jack up, Annie merely simpered and said, ‘Oh look, it’s sooo cute. What’s his name?’
‘I don’t fucking know, we haven’t been introduced.’
Anniethen s hrugged and said, straight-faced, ‘Okay, I get it, for you it’s just quick anonymous sex in the park. Hey, whatever , I’m not, like, judging anyone here.’ Taking out her
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