mobile, Annie then started to video the frantic dog-on-man action and enthusiastically advised Jack, ‘This is so great, it’ll definitely go viral on YouTube.’
Jack first threatened, ‘Don’t you fucking dare ,’ and then quickly changed tack to try for the sympathy vote.‘ Please Annie, these are clean trousers.’
Observing the blissed-out, eyes closed, tongue-dangling expression on the little dog’s face, Annie offered wise counsel. ‘All things considered boss, it might be easier to just shut your eyes, moan a little bit and let him finish. Anyway, that’s what I used to do with my last boyfriend. I mean this little guy could turn really nasty, if I try to stop things now.’
Rapidly succumbing to dizziness and clearly at the end of his tether, Jack raged, ‘Okay, that’s it, I’m going to kill the little fucker, right now.’
Realising that the time to intervene had sadly arrived, Annie then took a half-eaten chocolate bar from her back pack and whistled, ‘Here boy, see .’
The randy little mutt immediately disengaged from Jack’s leg and, tail wagging furiously, took the offered treat from Annie, who was bent double with laughter. ‘Hey, that proves it’s not just us girls who have a sweet tooth. Obviously if a cute boy has a straight choice between sex and chocolate, it’s no contest.’
The little dog ran away yelping as Jack aimed a wild kick at its rear end. Hearing the commotion, its obviously camp male owner then burst through the bushes in a complete lather.
‘Oh no , what have you done to poor little Fluffy?’
‘What have I done? I haven’t done anything,’ an indignant Jack spluttered. ‘ It bloody well attacked me .’
Dismissive, the dog owner gathered up the little pooch in a protective embrace and said, ‘Oh, don’t be silly. Fluffy wouldn’t hurt anyone. He’s just like me, we can’t help being affectionate and trusting with big, rough strangers. What on earth were you doing here in the middle of the bushes anyway?’
He then sidled closer to Jack and nudged him hopefully with his elbow. ‘Ooh, you’re not a very bad man, are you?’
Annie was also curious and asked, ‘Yeah boss, what were you doing in there?’
Realising he was now on a hiding to nothing the way the conversation was heading, Jack decided that discretion was the better part of valour. He walked away with as much dignity as he could muster, with a gruff parting shot to the dog owner, saying, ‘I’ll tell you what, pal. If you promise to take little Fluffy to the vet, to get seen to, I’ll pay. My treat, as long as I get to watch … but there’s definitely no anaesthetic to be used.’
Re-joined by Annie back on the path, he then attempted to wipe something warm and sticky from his trouser leg. ‘It must have been the scent of the other dog, at the park entrance, you know, on my trousers.’
Annie smirked and took the opportunity provided to enjoy a final snipe. ‘Maybe you just overdid the Lynx this morning.’
Reluctantly conceding that his “classic foot pursuit” training module was probably in need of a bit more work, Jack then muttered, ‘Enough fucking training, I need a drink.’
‘I have a suggestion, boss. Let’s take a detour on the way to the pub and let me show you something.’
Chapter 10
‘Okay, I give in,’ said Jack. ‘Why have you brought me here? It looks like a poncy women’s hairdresser.’
‘I worked here for a couple of months after I left college, covering reception and answering the phones. Ever since then, I’ve had my hair done once a month by one of the senior stylists, Justin. But he does men as well.’
‘I bet he does,’ said Jack grumpily
‘Look, try and be nice. Let’s just go inside and I’ll see if he can fit you in now for a cut. They’ve also recently started doing hot shaves. So since you’re here, you might as well go the whole hog and have one of them as well.’
As they paused at the reception desk, a spotty young man with a flamboyant blond
Jack first threatened, ‘Don’t you fucking dare ,’ and then quickly changed tack to try for the sympathy vote.‘ Please Annie, these are clean trousers.’
Observing the blissed-out, eyes closed, tongue-dangling expression on the little dog’s face, Annie offered wise counsel. ‘All things considered boss, it might be easier to just shut your eyes, moan a little bit and let him finish. Anyway, that’s what I used to do with my last boyfriend. I mean this little guy could turn really nasty, if I try to stop things now.’
Rapidly succumbing to dizziness and clearly at the end of his tether, Jack raged, ‘Okay, that’s it, I’m going to kill the little fucker, right now.’
Realising that the time to intervene had sadly arrived, Annie then took a half-eaten chocolate bar from her back pack and whistled, ‘Here boy, see .’
The randy little mutt immediately disengaged from Jack’s leg and, tail wagging furiously, took the offered treat from Annie, who was bent double with laughter. ‘Hey, that proves it’s not just us girls who have a sweet tooth. Obviously if a cute boy has a straight choice between sex and chocolate, it’s no contest.’
The little dog ran away yelping as Jack aimed a wild kick at its rear end. Hearing the commotion, its obviously camp male owner then burst through the bushes in a complete lather.
‘Oh no , what have you done to poor little Fluffy?’
‘What have I done? I haven’t done anything,’ an indignant Jack spluttered. ‘ It bloody well attacked me .’
Dismissive, the dog owner gathered up the little pooch in a protective embrace and said, ‘Oh, don’t be silly. Fluffy wouldn’t hurt anyone. He’s just like me, we can’t help being affectionate and trusting with big, rough strangers. What on earth were you doing here in the middle of the bushes anyway?’
He then sidled closer to Jack and nudged him hopefully with his elbow. ‘Ooh, you’re not a very bad man, are you?’
Annie was also curious and asked, ‘Yeah boss, what were you doing in there?’
Realising he was now on a hiding to nothing the way the conversation was heading, Jack decided that discretion was the better part of valour. He walked away with as much dignity as he could muster, with a gruff parting shot to the dog owner, saying, ‘I’ll tell you what, pal. If you promise to take little Fluffy to the vet, to get seen to, I’ll pay. My treat, as long as I get to watch … but there’s definitely no anaesthetic to be used.’
Re-joined by Annie back on the path, he then attempted to wipe something warm and sticky from his trouser leg. ‘It must have been the scent of the other dog, at the park entrance, you know, on my trousers.’
Annie smirked and took the opportunity provided to enjoy a final snipe. ‘Maybe you just overdid the Lynx this morning.’
Reluctantly conceding that his “classic foot pursuit” training module was probably in need of a bit more work, Jack then muttered, ‘Enough fucking training, I need a drink.’
‘I have a suggestion, boss. Let’s take a detour on the way to the pub and let me show you something.’
Chapter 10
‘Okay, I give in,’ said Jack. ‘Why have you brought me here? It looks like a poncy women’s hairdresser.’
‘I worked here for a couple of months after I left college, covering reception and answering the phones. Ever since then, I’ve had my hair done once a month by one of the senior stylists, Justin. But he does men as well.’
‘I bet he does,’ said Jack grumpily
‘Look, try and be nice. Let’s just go inside and I’ll see if he can fit you in now for a cut. They’ve also recently started doing hot shaves. So since you’re here, you might as well go the whole hog and have one of them as well.’
As they paused at the reception desk, a spotty young man with a flamboyant blond
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