him.
Especially after failing to find him a decade ago.
But now he had another reason to keep the secret. The kids were all he had, and without Elizabeth, he wasn’t sure how he could make them understand. If they found out they had an older brother, they were bound to have mixed reactions.
Shock,
40
FORGIVEN
certainly, and a sense of loss. But they might even feel betrayed, both by him and Elizabeth.
And that was something he couldn’t risk.
Seeing Ashley with the letter in her hand that day last summer,John had felt his heart crash to his knees. What other letters had he written to Elizabeth about their firstborn son? No, there was no way he could let Ashley have the box of letters. If it meant that much to her, he’d have to make time to go through them, find a few poignant pieces, and copy them for the girls and Luke. That way their longing for a piece of their mother’s past would be met, and Ashley’s interest in the box of letters would be fulfilled.
The whole thing felt nerve-racking. What if Ashley grew tired of waiting and snooped around his room again, maybe thinking she would surprise him by putting together a scrapbook of Elizabeth’s letters without his help? He took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly.
“Elizabeth… I miss you.” His words came as easily as breathing, and a smile tugged at his mouth. “Ashley and Landon are having a baby.” He brought his lips together and waited. A chorus of distant crickets filled in the spaces, reminding him of early autumn days gone by. “Can you believe it?” The question kept him company for a few seconds, but he was still alone. The way he would be forever. He stared at his knees and felt the familiar stinging in the corners of his eyes. Then he looked to the farthest places in the sky. “God, tell her I love her.”
The temperature was still dropping. John gripped the swing’s thick chains and pulled himself to his feet. As he did, the phone rang. He picked up his pace as he headed into the house and answered on the third ring. “Hello?”
“John? It’s Elaine. Elaine Denning.” She hesitated. “I hope I’m not calling too late?’
Elaine Denning? The woman had been Elizabeth’s friend for many years. Over the summer she was part of a group of people
41
KAREN KINGSBURY
he spent time with, friends who attended church together and sometimes met for cards or a picnic at Lake Monroe. He hadn’t seen her in several weeks. “Hey, Elaine, how are you?”
“Good.” She uttered a shy-sounding laugh. “I’ve been up in northern Michigan with my daughter. She just had a baby.”
“Congratulations!” John smiled at the picture of Elaine helping her daughter with a newborn. But he ached at the same time. Elizabeth should’ve been Ashley’s help when her little one came along. It was just another of the losses that never seemed to stop coming at them. He walked into the kitchen, grabbed the kettle,
and began filling it at the sink. “A boy or a girl?”
“Little girl. Maisy Anne.”
“You must be thrilled.” He put the kettle on the stove and flipped the burner on. “She’s your second grandchild, right?”
“Third. My son in Indianapolis has two little boys.”
John leaned back against the kitchen counter. “My daughter Ashley told us today that she and Landon are expecting.” He chuckled. “Must be the season.”
“Congratulations to you too, then.” A smile sounded in her voice. “Ashley deserves this. I’m happy for them.”
“Me too.” There was silence for a moment. A time when he should’ve been telling her about Elizabeth’s excitement, how she was right here a few feet away, and that he’d put her on the phone now so the two of them could talk. Instead he said, “So you’re back, huh?”
“Yes. A month’s a long time to be gone.” Her tone changed, and she sounded almost nervous. “Hey, John, I have a question for you.”
“Okay.” The water in the kettle was starting to boil. John
Especially after failing to find him a decade ago.
But now he had another reason to keep the secret. The kids were all he had, and without Elizabeth, he wasn’t sure how he could make them understand. If they found out they had an older brother, they were bound to have mixed reactions.
Shock,
40
FORGIVEN
certainly, and a sense of loss. But they might even feel betrayed, both by him and Elizabeth.
And that was something he couldn’t risk.
Seeing Ashley with the letter in her hand that day last summer,John had felt his heart crash to his knees. What other letters had he written to Elizabeth about their firstborn son? No, there was no way he could let Ashley have the box of letters. If it meant that much to her, he’d have to make time to go through them, find a few poignant pieces, and copy them for the girls and Luke. That way their longing for a piece of their mother’s past would be met, and Ashley’s interest in the box of letters would be fulfilled.
The whole thing felt nerve-racking. What if Ashley grew tired of waiting and snooped around his room again, maybe thinking she would surprise him by putting together a scrapbook of Elizabeth’s letters without his help? He took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly.
“Elizabeth… I miss you.” His words came as easily as breathing, and a smile tugged at his mouth. “Ashley and Landon are having a baby.” He brought his lips together and waited. A chorus of distant crickets filled in the spaces, reminding him of early autumn days gone by. “Can you believe it?” The question kept him company for a few seconds, but he was still alone. The way he would be forever. He stared at his knees and felt the familiar stinging in the corners of his eyes. Then he looked to the farthest places in the sky. “God, tell her I love her.”
The temperature was still dropping. John gripped the swing’s thick chains and pulled himself to his feet. As he did, the phone rang. He picked up his pace as he headed into the house and answered on the third ring. “Hello?”
“John? It’s Elaine. Elaine Denning.” She hesitated. “I hope I’m not calling too late?’
Elaine Denning? The woman had been Elizabeth’s friend for many years. Over the summer she was part of a group of people
41
KAREN KINGSBURY
he spent time with, friends who attended church together and sometimes met for cards or a picnic at Lake Monroe. He hadn’t seen her in several weeks. “Hey, Elaine, how are you?”
“Good.” She uttered a shy-sounding laugh. “I’ve been up in northern Michigan with my daughter. She just had a baby.”
“Congratulations!” John smiled at the picture of Elaine helping her daughter with a newborn. But he ached at the same time. Elizabeth should’ve been Ashley’s help when her little one came along. It was just another of the losses that never seemed to stop coming at them. He walked into the kitchen, grabbed the kettle,
and began filling it at the sink. “A boy or a girl?”
“Little girl. Maisy Anne.”
“You must be thrilled.” He put the kettle on the stove and flipped the burner on. “She’s your second grandchild, right?”
“Third. My son in Indianapolis has two little boys.”
John leaned back against the kitchen counter. “My daughter Ashley told us today that she and Landon are expecting.” He chuckled. “Must be the season.”
“Congratulations to you too, then.” A smile sounded in her voice. “Ashley deserves this. I’m happy for them.”
“Me too.” There was silence for a moment. A time when he should’ve been telling her about Elizabeth’s excitement, how she was right here a few feet away, and that he’d put her on the phone now so the two of them could talk. Instead he said, “So you’re back, huh?”
“Yes. A month’s a long time to be gone.” Her tone changed, and she sounded almost nervous. “Hey, John, I have a question for you.”
“Okay.” The water in the kettle was starting to boil. John
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