Four Temptations by PJ Adams

ohmygod moment.
    Brandon was jealous. He’d been Jimmy’s star client, he’d brought me to the agency, encouraged Jimmy to humor me, and then, rapidly, had fallen into my shadow.
    And Jimmy... Poor, darling, always-there-for-me Jimmy.
    How blind had I been?
    I backed away from the two of them, until my heels hit the curb, and then I turned and walked, right away from my own book launch, away from it all.
    How blind...
    §
    He called, of course.
    He had to. No man could leave things like that. Not if he wanted to walk again.
    So many unanswered questions. So many things I had to reassess, all of them swirling around inside my skull since I’d walked away from my book launch only a few hours before.
    The phone trilled – my mobile, on the little chest of drawers by my bed. I was sitting there on the duvet, my knees drawn up to my chest. I may even have been rocking back and forth a little, in true One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest style. I was still in my clothes from the launch: my favorite Boden skinnies, and a tailored jacket over a vest top, only my shoes kicked off on the floor.
    How could I have been so blind?
    “You could have said something.” That’s not how I normally answer my phone, but the caller’s number was in my Contacts and his picture popped up on the little screen when the phone rang. “You could have at least dropped a little hint . But no–” I kept going, filling the silence; why call if you’re not going to speak? “–you’re the consummate professional, aren’t you? You keep work and private separate. I don’t even know if you’re married, for God’s sake! Or gay. Or a creepy, predatory stalker who steals ladies’ underwear from their washing. Eugh... You could be all these things, but you’re never anything other than professional, and... and...”
    “Let me see,” he said, finally. “Yes, I try to be professional: you’re special, Maggie; I couldn’t risk that. And yes, I like to be discreet. Not because I’m married or gay or some kind of stalker pervert, but because I’m professional about what I do and I’m damned good at it.”
    “I know. I know. You sell my shit to Hollywood. You’ve told me that often enough, Jimmy.”
    “But as you kind of ask, no I’m not married any more, and not because I’m gay but because I can be stupid and blind sometimes and I realized too late and ever since then I’ve been very cautious about opening up my heart to someone. And no, I don’t steal underwear. I’ve never even felt the slightest inclination in that direction, which I hope will be a relief to you.”
    “It is. Believe me it is. I don’t think I could handle that, as well as...”
    “As well as what?”
    “As well as whatever this is.”
    Silence, then: “I’m sorry about your book launch.”
    “It was a fabulous book launch.”
    “I know. But I’m sorry about your book launch. That thing with Brandon... You weren’t really...?”
    “I don’t know.” I thought back to that exchange on the street. “No. No, I don’t think I was. I just...” What had Ellie said? “I was just flattered, and a part of me was thinking that maybe that thing with Brandon had been it .”
    “You really think that?”
    No. I’d always known, really, even when I’d tried to kid myself that this time could be different. Doomed relationships, volatile lovers who can never make things work together, all the fights and making up. I’d been there. I’d seen it all. I’d written the book and sold the movie.
    “So,” I said, after another long silence. “Where to from here?”
    “Well you could start by letting me in. I’ve been standing out here for ages and it’s starting to rain, and the longer I’m out here the more I’m going to look like that pervy stalker you mentioned.”
    I went to my window, twitched a curtain aside and looked down.
    Over on the far side of the street, under a street lamp, dark jacket pulled tight as if it might somehow ward off the steady rain