Fungus of the Heart
you’re not a friend to yourself, then you’re an enemy. And that’s no way to live.”
    Then, out of nowhere I can imagine, Milena kisses me.
    But don’t worry. The tentacles of warmth extending from my stomach don’t mean a thing. Her lips simply remind me of yours.
    “I belong to Cailin,” I say.
    “I know,” Milena says. “I’m sorry.”
    “If that’s true, then why are you smiling?”
    “Sometimes I smile when I’m embarrassed.”
    “Just don’t let it happen again.”
    Milena nods, and escapes into the kitchen with the dishes.
    Soon, I’m asleep in my bedroom as my dreamself vomits blood into a scrying bucket on the table.
    The water boils, rises. Transforms into the Imposter.
    I try to walk away, but my feet root into the floor. “You don’t give up, do you?”
    “No,” she says. “I need to talk to you.”
    “I’ve never fallen for your trickery before. What makes you think you’ll succeed this time?”
    “Just hear me out. Please?”
    “I don’t actually have choice in the matter, do I?”
    “I suppose not.”
    “Then let’s get this over with.”
    The Imposter plays with a long ashen braid. “I just…I want you to know I won’t mind if you give yourself to Milena. I know how you feel about her.”
    “You don’t know anything. I belong only to Cailin, and I wish you’d stop trying to interfere with our relationship.”
    “For the last time, Night. I am Cailin.”
    I shake my head. “You’re nothing but a shadow who preys on people’s hearts.”
    The Imposter sighs. “If you won’t let yourself love Milena, at least promise me you won’t go through with your mission.”
    “I’ll promise you nothing, nightfiend.”
    And before the soulsucker can respond, a hand reaches out from the scrying bucket. My hand. Only stronger. Bigger. More grotesque.
    The monster I’m destined to become pulls the Imposter down into the blood.
    She reaches out to me with your familiar hand.
    And I feel like saving her. Everything about her reminds me of you.
    But I let the monster consume her.
    Of course I do.
    For you, I’d devour anyone.
    *
    Just as Milena climbs into bed, a young girl peeks into the bedroom. For all I know, she’s one of those child warriors from the west, so I enter a battle stance.
    “Come in, Hada,” Milena says, smiling.
    And I return to a relaxed position.
    “I made you this,” Hada says, and hands over a soap carving of a dog, perhaps.
    “Thank you so much,” Milena says.
    “She’s an elephant.”
    “I’ll cherish her always.”
    “What about when you burn her all up?
    “I’ll still cherish her.”
    “Do you know my cousin Abran?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Abran says that lion candles are better than elephant candles, but I don’t think so.”
    “I don’t think so either.”
    Hada grins. “I gotta go now, because I told my mom I’d help her with the corn.”
    “Alright.”
    She bows. “Thank you for your protection.”
    “Thank you for your cuteness.”
    Hada giggles and rushes away.
    “I know she’s only a child,” I say. “But even she should know better than to enter someone’s dwelling without knocking.”
    “Don’t patronize her, please.” Milena sets the elephant on her nightstand. “Hada’s an intelligent girl, and she was following my orders. I’ve told all the children in the village they can enter my home at any time. No permission necessary.”
    “And you didn’t think to inform me of this?”
    “I didn’t think you’d mistake a child for a threat.”
    “Now who’s patronizing children? They can be just as dangerous as adults, under certain circumstances.”
    Milena sighs. “Fine. I should’ve told you. Happy?”
    “I’ll be happy when you start sleeping soundly through the day.”
    “You’re one to talk, with all the nightmares. You talk in your sleep. Scream, sometimes.”
    “I’m sorry.”
    “Don’t apologize.”
    “I’ll sleep outside from now on.”
    “That’s ridiculous, Nightingale.”
    “It’s my job

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