his delicate skin too. “A shame,” I said to Becky Sue while keeping a straight face.
“A
crying
shame,” she said in agreement.
My life fell into a pattern for the time that Mama was away receiving cancer treatments. Weekdays, Adel and Papa went to work and I went to school. On Saturdays we’d drive to Atlanta and visit with Mama. Papa had found her a nice private room with an elderly widow two blocks from the hospital, where Mama went daily.
After our Saturday visits with Mama, Papa would drive Adel to the base, where Barry would meet her. Papa and I would come on home and Adel would ride home later at night with her friend Sandy, who also had a soldier beau at the base. On Sundays we’d go to church, then out to eat at the Southern Grille. Sunday nights, I’d attend teen group with Becky. Then it would be Monday, and the cycle would start all over.
After school I worked in the gardens, digging up annuals, planting bulbs and deadheading spent blossoms from plants getting ready to cozy down for the winter. I also did my homework, including research for my special project. After talking to Barry, world events had a whole lot more meaning for me. The Irish Republican Army was blowing up buildings in Great Britain, the Palestine Liberation Organization was formally recognized, and fighting continued in Vietnam and also its neighbor Cambodia. Seemed to me like the whole world was at war.
In the middle of October, Pastor Jim reminded us about the not-to-be-missed annual hayride.
“Our group’s so large that we’re getting two trucks of hay this year,” the pastor announced. “Middle-schoolers in one, high-schoolers in the other. We’ll go along the Simmons property to their south field. It’s not planted this year and they’ve kindly said we can build a bonfire and raise our voices to praise the Lord.
“And,” Pastor Jim added, “I expect all of you to come.”
He looked straight at Jason when he said that, and my pulse raced, for I spent much of my free time daydreaming about Jason. He seemed mysterious to me, not needing or wanting anybody’s company or approval. If I saw him in the halls, my heartbeat went crazy and my breath felt knocked out of me. My reactions appalled me—hadn’t I teased Becky Sue about the silliness of such things? And yet now it was happening to me and there wasn’t a soul I’d dare tell. I decided that my feelings toward Jason were part of a conspiracy of nature to mess up teenagers’ minds. Trouble was, I couldn’t figure out
why.
What was the point in making us feel like we were going crazy? All I wanted was the safety of my old world. Instead, I was being dragged into this new one, where the water was deep and dark. And I didn’t know if I’d be able to swim.
Seven
“This one, or this one?” I asked Becky Sue, holding up two pullover sweaters for her inspection.
We were in my room and she was helping me decide what to wear for the hayride on Saturday night.
“It gets awful hot around that bonfire,” Becky Sue said.
The weather didn’t turn really cold in our part of Georgia until near Thanksgiving, but I liked wearing loose-fitting sweaters because they hid my skinny body and flat chest. “Good point,” I said. “I’ll wear a long-sleeved shirt under the sweater, and if I’m burning up, I can strip.”
“That will impress the church crowd.”
“You know what I mean.” I pawed through my closet, looking for my favorite denim shirt.
“Why are you trying so hard?” Becky asked. “It’s just the hayride. It’s not like we’ve never gone before.”
That was true. But before, we’d just been kids and Jason hadn’t been on my mind morning, noon and night. I turned back to my closet. If Becky suspected for one second that I wanted to look good for Jason, I’d never live it down. “Are you saying you’re not planning what you’re going to wear?”
“Why? Russell won’t be there.”
Russell’s family attended the Second Baptist Church,
“A
crying
shame,” she said in agreement.
My life fell into a pattern for the time that Mama was away receiving cancer treatments. Weekdays, Adel and Papa went to work and I went to school. On Saturdays we’d drive to Atlanta and visit with Mama. Papa had found her a nice private room with an elderly widow two blocks from the hospital, where Mama went daily.
After our Saturday visits with Mama, Papa would drive Adel to the base, where Barry would meet her. Papa and I would come on home and Adel would ride home later at night with her friend Sandy, who also had a soldier beau at the base. On Sundays we’d go to church, then out to eat at the Southern Grille. Sunday nights, I’d attend teen group with Becky. Then it would be Monday, and the cycle would start all over.
After school I worked in the gardens, digging up annuals, planting bulbs and deadheading spent blossoms from plants getting ready to cozy down for the winter. I also did my homework, including research for my special project. After talking to Barry, world events had a whole lot more meaning for me. The Irish Republican Army was blowing up buildings in Great Britain, the Palestine Liberation Organization was formally recognized, and fighting continued in Vietnam and also its neighbor Cambodia. Seemed to me like the whole world was at war.
In the middle of October, Pastor Jim reminded us about the not-to-be-missed annual hayride.
“Our group’s so large that we’re getting two trucks of hay this year,” the pastor announced. “Middle-schoolers in one, high-schoolers in the other. We’ll go along the Simmons property to their south field. It’s not planted this year and they’ve kindly said we can build a bonfire and raise our voices to praise the Lord.
“And,” Pastor Jim added, “I expect all of you to come.”
He looked straight at Jason when he said that, and my pulse raced, for I spent much of my free time daydreaming about Jason. He seemed mysterious to me, not needing or wanting anybody’s company or approval. If I saw him in the halls, my heartbeat went crazy and my breath felt knocked out of me. My reactions appalled me—hadn’t I teased Becky Sue about the silliness of such things? And yet now it was happening to me and there wasn’t a soul I’d dare tell. I decided that my feelings toward Jason were part of a conspiracy of nature to mess up teenagers’ minds. Trouble was, I couldn’t figure out
why.
What was the point in making us feel like we were going crazy? All I wanted was the safety of my old world. Instead, I was being dragged into this new one, where the water was deep and dark. And I didn’t know if I’d be able to swim.
Seven
“This one, or this one?” I asked Becky Sue, holding up two pullover sweaters for her inspection.
We were in my room and she was helping me decide what to wear for the hayride on Saturday night.
“It gets awful hot around that bonfire,” Becky Sue said.
The weather didn’t turn really cold in our part of Georgia until near Thanksgiving, but I liked wearing loose-fitting sweaters because they hid my skinny body and flat chest. “Good point,” I said. “I’ll wear a long-sleeved shirt under the sweater, and if I’m burning up, I can strip.”
“That will impress the church crowd.”
“You know what I mean.” I pawed through my closet, looking for my favorite denim shirt.
“Why are you trying so hard?” Becky asked. “It’s just the hayride. It’s not like we’ve never gone before.”
That was true. But before, we’d just been kids and Jason hadn’t been on my mind morning, noon and night. I turned back to my closet. If Becky suspected for one second that I wanted to look good for Jason, I’d never live it down. “Are you saying you’re not planning what you’re going to wear?”
“Why? Russell won’t be there.”
Russell’s family attended the Second Baptist Church,
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