any of us can really change our minds and move away from here. We have no money of our own, nowhere to go. Andit doesn’t make much sense to even consider it, since the world is about to end. Still, I can’t help wishing that I could go out with Cody and maybe see what a kiss feels like when Will’s not on the other end of it … but this kind of wishing is foolish and I can’t indulge it.
“Lyla.” Pioneer’s standing by the picnic tables with the sheriff and the other man. He looks irritated and ready to be rid of our guests. Cody’s father hands a piece of paper to Pioneer, and Pioneer nods and puts it in his front shirt pocket. I stand up and brush the grass from my shorts. Cody gets up more slowly and stretches.
“It was nice to meet you,” I say loudly in a more formal tone than I used when we were alone. And then I surprise myself, lean closer to him and whisper something I know I shouldn’t.
“You know, my family’s assigned to the next supply run into town this Saturday.” I can’t quite look at him afterward.
What am I doing?
He shoots me a sidelong glance and a slow smile spreads across his face, lighting up his gray-green eyes. “Maybe we’ll run into each other. Could happen … especially if I have a general idea of where you’re going to be.”
My breath quickens. I can feel his smile becoming contagious and I return it with one of my own. “We’ll probably be at Walmart for most of the morning.”
“I happen to love that store. Where else can you get a haircut, goldfish, and camping gear all at the same time?”
He winks at me and I have to clamp my mouth shut tokeep from laughing. I’ve never felt so reckless. It’s terrifying, but exhilarating too. I look over to where the adults are standing. Pioneer is watching us now, so I force myself to sober up.
“I hope you enjoyed your tour.”
Cody catches on quickly and shakes my hand stiffly. Still, his thumb strokes the top of my hand for half a second and my stomach takes a free fall to my shoes. “I did, thank you very much.”
I turn toward Pioneer and together we walk Cody and the other two men the rest of the way to their car. We wave. The car turns toward the gate and then rolls slowly through it. I know that as soon as the gate is completely closed, Pioneer will want a detailed accounting of my time with Cody. I should tell him everything, right down to the “chance encounter” Cody and I might have on Saturday. I can redeem myself, and shake off this awful temptation before it takes root. I promised myself after target practice that I would follow the rules from now on, that I wouldn’t knowingly put the Community in danger.
So why am I already preparing to lie?
Funi
We can’t let the propagation of humanity be decided
by a fickle rush of hormones.
—Pioneer
I was thirteen when I found out that Will and I would get married someday. Will had just celebrated his fourteenth birthday the month before, and Jessica, the youngest kid in the Community, had just turned twelve. Now no one was under what Pioneer called “the age of accountability.” We were all finally old enough to know who the Brethren meant for us to pair with, and the Community was abuzz about it.
I was all knocking knees and shivery insides as I walked the other girls to the clubhouse. Pioneer was planning to announce our Intendeds before that night’s movie and just after dinner. We were dressed up for the occasion, something we rarely ever did. Pioneer had our moms order us new dresses and our very first high heels. They were all exactly the same, right down to their colors, because we bought them in bulk just like everything else, but it didn’t really matter—at least not to me. I loved the staccato click my heels made as I walked toward theclubhouse. Our parents, along with the boys, were waiting for us there.
When we entered the dining room, the boys stood up. They were equally dressy in shirts, ties, and black pants. They
“Lyla.” Pioneer’s standing by the picnic tables with the sheriff and the other man. He looks irritated and ready to be rid of our guests. Cody’s father hands a piece of paper to Pioneer, and Pioneer nods and puts it in his front shirt pocket. I stand up and brush the grass from my shorts. Cody gets up more slowly and stretches.
“It was nice to meet you,” I say loudly in a more formal tone than I used when we were alone. And then I surprise myself, lean closer to him and whisper something I know I shouldn’t.
“You know, my family’s assigned to the next supply run into town this Saturday.” I can’t quite look at him afterward.
What am I doing?
He shoots me a sidelong glance and a slow smile spreads across his face, lighting up his gray-green eyes. “Maybe we’ll run into each other. Could happen … especially if I have a general idea of where you’re going to be.”
My breath quickens. I can feel his smile becoming contagious and I return it with one of my own. “We’ll probably be at Walmart for most of the morning.”
“I happen to love that store. Where else can you get a haircut, goldfish, and camping gear all at the same time?”
He winks at me and I have to clamp my mouth shut tokeep from laughing. I’ve never felt so reckless. It’s terrifying, but exhilarating too. I look over to where the adults are standing. Pioneer is watching us now, so I force myself to sober up.
“I hope you enjoyed your tour.”
Cody catches on quickly and shakes my hand stiffly. Still, his thumb strokes the top of my hand for half a second and my stomach takes a free fall to my shoes. “I did, thank you very much.”
I turn toward Pioneer and together we walk Cody and the other two men the rest of the way to their car. We wave. The car turns toward the gate and then rolls slowly through it. I know that as soon as the gate is completely closed, Pioneer will want a detailed accounting of my time with Cody. I should tell him everything, right down to the “chance encounter” Cody and I might have on Saturday. I can redeem myself, and shake off this awful temptation before it takes root. I promised myself after target practice that I would follow the rules from now on, that I wouldn’t knowingly put the Community in danger.
So why am I already preparing to lie?
Funi
We can’t let the propagation of humanity be decided
by a fickle rush of hormones.
—Pioneer
I was thirteen when I found out that Will and I would get married someday. Will had just celebrated his fourteenth birthday the month before, and Jessica, the youngest kid in the Community, had just turned twelve. Now no one was under what Pioneer called “the age of accountability.” We were all finally old enough to know who the Brethren meant for us to pair with, and the Community was abuzz about it.
I was all knocking knees and shivery insides as I walked the other girls to the clubhouse. Pioneer was planning to announce our Intendeds before that night’s movie and just after dinner. We were dressed up for the occasion, something we rarely ever did. Pioneer had our moms order us new dresses and our very first high heels. They were all exactly the same, right down to their colors, because we bought them in bulk just like everything else, but it didn’t really matter—at least not to me. I loved the staccato click my heels made as I walked toward theclubhouse. Our parents, along with the boys, were waiting for us there.
When we entered the dining room, the boys stood up. They were equally dressy in shirts, ties, and black pants. They
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