other?”
Charlotte sighed. “There’s only my mother.”
He raised his brows, determined that she would speak.
“I haven’t told her yet.”
His brows rose higher. “Why not?”
“I don’t believe she’ll approve.”
“Sometimes relatives don’t understand how important it can be for someone to have a particular operation. Nonetheless, it is important that you discuss it with her if only to determine the degree of support you can expect.”
“I can do this alone.”
“Miss Godowski, after any operation there is a physical and psychological stress that may affect both your stamina and mood. That is only natural.”
“I’m very fit. I have great stamina.”
“By this I mean many people feel blue and down for a while. You will need some support. I encourage you to talk to your mother. Honestly and frankly.”
Charlotte nodded in compliance. “I’ll try.”
“You will let me know her reaction?”
Charlotte nodded again.
“What if your mother opposes surgery? What will you do?”
Charlotte looked up and met his gaze squarely. “I will still have the operation.”
Dr. Harmon narrowed his gaze. “This operation means so much to you?”
“Yes. It means everything.” She forced herself not to shrink away from his questioning gaze.
“Why?” he pursued. “Why now? Usually women who are born with your condition have surgery at least by their adolescence. You are—” he again checked her chart “—twenty. What prompted you to seek help now?”
The image of Lou Kopp flashed in her mind. She couldn’t tell him that. Definitely not. And if she was honest with herself, Lou Kopp wasn’t the only reason why she wanted change. Truth was, he was just the tip of the iceberg, the proverbial last straw.
“I guess it just took me longer to grow up than those other women,” she replied slowly. Then, thinking of her old dreams, she added, “I used to believe that beauty was in the eye of the beholder. I had to. If I didn’t, I’d have to give up the dream that someday, someone would see beyond this face and love the person I am inside.” She looked at her shoes and her shoulders slumped. “I finally figured out no one will give me a chance with this face.”
“By give you a chance you mean…”
“Love me.”
“Ah, I understand.” Dr. Harmon tapped his fingers together. “And you believe that this operation will make someone love you?”
“No,” Charlotte replied, wise to the trap. “I know my face alone won’t make someone love me. That’s why I said ‘chance.’ All I want is a chance.”
“That’s a fair answer. So, in general, would you say that life treats you pretty well?”
She gave another crooked smile. “To be totally honest with you…no. This face hasn’t made life easy.”
“Have you ever seen a psychiatrist, or any other mental health professional?”
“I’m ugly, not crazy.” Charlotte dropped her hands and sighed. “I know you have to ask all these questions, Doctor. But I’m not asking you for some cosmetic repair here, like a nose job or a face-lift. I have a legitimate deformity. You said so yourself. I’m physically well. I exercise, eat well and have no known ailments. I’m a prime candidate. And though my life has been dull, Doctor, it has been stable. There are no skeletons in my closet. I assure you, I am not crazy.”
“No one is suggesting that you are. You must realize, however, that a surgery such as this, that can dramatically alter your appearance, will require psychological adjustment, too. It will take time—weeks, perhaps even months—for you to accept your new appearance. You may even experience a personality change.”
“I’m not afraid, Doctor. I’m ready for a change. I’ve waited for twenty years.”
She could tell by the way he tilted his head and stroked his chin that Dr Harmon was making far more than superficial observations.
“Very well, Miss Godowski,” he said, closing her chart. There was no warmth in the
Charlotte sighed. “There’s only my mother.”
He raised his brows, determined that she would speak.
“I haven’t told her yet.”
His brows rose higher. “Why not?”
“I don’t believe she’ll approve.”
“Sometimes relatives don’t understand how important it can be for someone to have a particular operation. Nonetheless, it is important that you discuss it with her if only to determine the degree of support you can expect.”
“I can do this alone.”
“Miss Godowski, after any operation there is a physical and psychological stress that may affect both your stamina and mood. That is only natural.”
“I’m very fit. I have great stamina.”
“By this I mean many people feel blue and down for a while. You will need some support. I encourage you to talk to your mother. Honestly and frankly.”
Charlotte nodded in compliance. “I’ll try.”
“You will let me know her reaction?”
Charlotte nodded again.
“What if your mother opposes surgery? What will you do?”
Charlotte looked up and met his gaze squarely. “I will still have the operation.”
Dr. Harmon narrowed his gaze. “This operation means so much to you?”
“Yes. It means everything.” She forced herself not to shrink away from his questioning gaze.
“Why?” he pursued. “Why now? Usually women who are born with your condition have surgery at least by their adolescence. You are—” he again checked her chart “—twenty. What prompted you to seek help now?”
The image of Lou Kopp flashed in her mind. She couldn’t tell him that. Definitely not. And if she was honest with herself, Lou Kopp wasn’t the only reason why she wanted change. Truth was, he was just the tip of the iceberg, the proverbial last straw.
“I guess it just took me longer to grow up than those other women,” she replied slowly. Then, thinking of her old dreams, she added, “I used to believe that beauty was in the eye of the beholder. I had to. If I didn’t, I’d have to give up the dream that someday, someone would see beyond this face and love the person I am inside.” She looked at her shoes and her shoulders slumped. “I finally figured out no one will give me a chance with this face.”
“By give you a chance you mean…”
“Love me.”
“Ah, I understand.” Dr. Harmon tapped his fingers together. “And you believe that this operation will make someone love you?”
“No,” Charlotte replied, wise to the trap. “I know my face alone won’t make someone love me. That’s why I said ‘chance.’ All I want is a chance.”
“That’s a fair answer. So, in general, would you say that life treats you pretty well?”
She gave another crooked smile. “To be totally honest with you…no. This face hasn’t made life easy.”
“Have you ever seen a psychiatrist, or any other mental health professional?”
“I’m ugly, not crazy.” Charlotte dropped her hands and sighed. “I know you have to ask all these questions, Doctor. But I’m not asking you for some cosmetic repair here, like a nose job or a face-lift. I have a legitimate deformity. You said so yourself. I’m physically well. I exercise, eat well and have no known ailments. I’m a prime candidate. And though my life has been dull, Doctor, it has been stable. There are no skeletons in my closet. I assure you, I am not crazy.”
“No one is suggesting that you are. You must realize, however, that a surgery such as this, that can dramatically alter your appearance, will require psychological adjustment, too. It will take time—weeks, perhaps even months—for you to accept your new appearance. You may even experience a personality change.”
“I’m not afraid, Doctor. I’m ready for a change. I’ve waited for twenty years.”
She could tell by the way he tilted his head and stroked his chin that Dr Harmon was making far more than superficial observations.
“Very well, Miss Godowski,” he said, closing her chart. There was no warmth in the
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