everything.
After the virus spread, things were grim for civilization, but it wasn’t until the blackout swept the world that everything stopped, forever. All the innovation and transformation that took centuries to create collapsed. All the energy sources the people in these photos relied on were too interconnected and power dependent.
I don’t want to depend on anything anymore. Depending gets you nowhere.
A thin book slides under the bedroom door. No knock, or words, just the volume slipped to me. I jump off the bed, curious as to what this is. Flipping open the leather cover, my heart races. These are Integrity’s words. I’d sworn to myself I wouldn’t ask Lukas for it because I don’t want to want to know what he thinks of me and my light. I want to make my decisions without any input from anyone or anything. That’s why I wanted to come to the compound in the first place.
Scanning the first page quickly, I try and absorb his reflections of me. My chest burns, I feel scorched, exposed. He wrote about my test, and recounts the words I spoke in the Councilmen’s Chamber , “I just said the truth. My truth, now. Before I had nothing, and now, now I have honey and blueberries and a person partnered to help me. And hopefully a future. Here.”
It sounds foolish, looking back on it now, but that’s truly how I felt. Now my old words sting, knowing how The Light abused Mom, hurt Basil and Hana. It’s strange how many times we can change what we believe in a lifetime. In a year, a month, a day. We constantly transform into different versions of ourselves. Versions that grow more complicated the more we have experienced.
I flip the pages, pausing as I read Integrity’s thoughts on the dark room, but I remember those words from our conversation . “Girls like Basil are different. They need to see The Light more than girls like you. So, we help them see when they can’t … for certain ones it’s through confinement in the dark, to remind them how much they need The Light.”
Charlie said we need to have Dark to see the Light, but I don’t know what I think anymore. I flip to the next page, and that’s when my breath catches . “These two are the Rainbow Children I had hoped they were.”
What is that? What’s Integrity saying I am? I turnto the next page wanting to understand, but there are only a few lines in his sharp scrawl , “Lukas must bring her back. If he doesn’t, The Light will die and the world will return to darkness forevermore, never having a chance to reignite. The darkness that ate away the earth’s population in the first place will consume us all, and we will fade. As the sacred text says, ‘What once was lost will never be found, the unbelieving will stifle The Light, until it is gone, forever. And we will all flail in Darkness until the end of time.’ We need them, we need them to believe or else the Council will lead us into the darkness on their own. ”
His writing stops, and I look around my empty room as if Integrity would be standing there to fill in the blanks formulating in my mind.
He needs me to believe, but I don’t want to believe for anyone else.
I want to believe for me.
But I don’t know if I can take that risk. What if Integrity is right? What if the weight Lukas has always carried was for more than just supplying energy? What if he is the prophet, like everyone in the compound suddenly believes?
What if this is the moment? The moment that changes everything.
The moment I gave in, and chose to believe.
19.
Charlie
The voices rushing toward me grow louder. I strain to make out the words, and when one rider breaks away, I hear what he’s shouting, “Charlie!”
Jax.
The Cowboy Coalition is here, and the timing couldn’t be more perfect, because I’m not prepared to fight The Light on my own. I didn’t intend to come here today to start a fight, I came for Perfection.
“Are they waging war?” Jax asks, breathless as he greets
After the virus spread, things were grim for civilization, but it wasn’t until the blackout swept the world that everything stopped, forever. All the innovation and transformation that took centuries to create collapsed. All the energy sources the people in these photos relied on were too interconnected and power dependent.
I don’t want to depend on anything anymore. Depending gets you nowhere.
A thin book slides under the bedroom door. No knock, or words, just the volume slipped to me. I jump off the bed, curious as to what this is. Flipping open the leather cover, my heart races. These are Integrity’s words. I’d sworn to myself I wouldn’t ask Lukas for it because I don’t want to want to know what he thinks of me and my light. I want to make my decisions without any input from anyone or anything. That’s why I wanted to come to the compound in the first place.
Scanning the first page quickly, I try and absorb his reflections of me. My chest burns, I feel scorched, exposed. He wrote about my test, and recounts the words I spoke in the Councilmen’s Chamber , “I just said the truth. My truth, now. Before I had nothing, and now, now I have honey and blueberries and a person partnered to help me. And hopefully a future. Here.”
It sounds foolish, looking back on it now, but that’s truly how I felt. Now my old words sting, knowing how The Light abused Mom, hurt Basil and Hana. It’s strange how many times we can change what we believe in a lifetime. In a year, a month, a day. We constantly transform into different versions of ourselves. Versions that grow more complicated the more we have experienced.
I flip the pages, pausing as I read Integrity’s thoughts on the dark room, but I remember those words from our conversation . “Girls like Basil are different. They need to see The Light more than girls like you. So, we help them see when they can’t … for certain ones it’s through confinement in the dark, to remind them how much they need The Light.”
Charlie said we need to have Dark to see the Light, but I don’t know what I think anymore. I flip to the next page, and that’s when my breath catches . “These two are the Rainbow Children I had hoped they were.”
What is that? What’s Integrity saying I am? I turnto the next page wanting to understand, but there are only a few lines in his sharp scrawl , “Lukas must bring her back. If he doesn’t, The Light will die and the world will return to darkness forevermore, never having a chance to reignite. The darkness that ate away the earth’s population in the first place will consume us all, and we will fade. As the sacred text says, ‘What once was lost will never be found, the unbelieving will stifle The Light, until it is gone, forever. And we will all flail in Darkness until the end of time.’ We need them, we need them to believe or else the Council will lead us into the darkness on their own. ”
His writing stops, and I look around my empty room as if Integrity would be standing there to fill in the blanks formulating in my mind.
He needs me to believe, but I don’t want to believe for anyone else.
I want to believe for me.
But I don’t know if I can take that risk. What if Integrity is right? What if the weight Lukas has always carried was for more than just supplying energy? What if he is the prophet, like everyone in the compound suddenly believes?
What if this is the moment? The moment that changes everything.
The moment I gave in, and chose to believe.
19.
Charlie
The voices rushing toward me grow louder. I strain to make out the words, and when one rider breaks away, I hear what he’s shouting, “Charlie!”
Jax.
The Cowboy Coalition is here, and the timing couldn’t be more perfect, because I’m not prepared to fight The Light on my own. I didn’t intend to come here today to start a fight, I came for Perfection.
“Are they waging war?” Jax asks, breathless as he greets
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