God Hates You, Hate Him Back: Making Sense of The Bible by C.J. Werleman

do what you like to them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof’.” (Genesis 19:3-8 NIV)
     
    I dare any follower of Judaism, Islam or Christianity to defend this moral position, which is accepted as an act of decency or nobility in the book of God. This is abhorrent by any stretch and I hope demonstrates that religion is made by self-serving, morally corruptible men and not the work of a morally superior power.
     
    We can pause for a moment’s sigh of relief, however, as there is absolutely zilch evidence, archeologically or otherwise, that the twin-cities were anything but a piece of literary fabrication and therefore a story for our own amusement. Thus, there never existed any town of Sodom or Gomorrah in the sands of the Middle East or elsewhere. And more thankfully, these innocent daughters were not gang raped by a pack of lecherous bastards.
     
    However, we only have to move a few paragraphs from this point of the Bible before we stumble across further bizarre sexual standards or norms that do not solicit any moral judgment or condemnation. In Genesis 19 it describes Lot living alone with his two daughters in a cave outside of a town called Zoar.
     
    “ One day the older daughter said to the younger, ‘Our father is old and there is no man around here to lie with us, as is the custom all over the earth. Let’s get our father to drink wine and then lie with him to preserve our family line through our father.’ That night they got their father to drink wine and the older daughter went in and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.”
     
    On the following night, they got their father drunk again and this time the younger daughter slept with Lot and within a matter of weeks both daughters became pregnant and bore sons to him. (Play banjo music) There is no sub-text that follows this story. No footnote to say God was displeased with Lot or his daughters. Hell, God was smiting people all over the place for far less than this. Heck, he turned Lot’s wife into salt for merely sneaking a peak at the destruction of Sodom, after God told her not to look back. Tough love!
     
    I guess, God, the jealous and petty god, was too consumed with his own jealousy and insecurities to be concerned over matters of gang rape and incestuous sexual relations. Too busy testing Abraham’s faith with his command that Abraham should sacrifice his own son, Isaac, on a nearby mountain. This guy, God, has a wicked sense of humor, huh? Abraham, always obliging though, does as God wishes and just before he slashes the throat of his only son an angel appears telling Abraham words to the effect, “Hey, it was just a joke. You just got punked, muthafucka!” (It’s funnier with a Samuel L. Jackson voice)
     
    What kind of god would ask you, as proof of your love for him, to look into the innocent and trusting eyes of your child before slashing his or her jugular vein, watching your very own bleed slowly to death before your very eyes? This can only be the test of a deeply wicked and insecure sadist.
     
Jacob, Esau… and the Invisible Man
     
    At the age of one hundred and eighty years, Abraham passed away, but on his deathbed he anointed his eldest son Isaac to lead the family. Isaac inherited all that was Abraham’s and in his new role as patriarch, he wasted no time in impregnating one of his favorite wives, Rebekah. Mind you it took God’s IVF program to deliver the sperm to her ovaries, as Rebekah had been ‘barren’ for many years in unsuccessfully trying for children. Rebekah and Isaac slaughtered an animal as a token of thanks for allowing them to finally become parents. They didn’t give cholcoate and flowers in those days. The glowing mum-to-be realized mid-way through her pregnancy that she was bearing twins. Whilst a ‘two-for-the-price-of-one’ deal was reason to further praise God, Rebekah became confused and concerned because the two