work.
He picks up the glass of water I set on the counter after we'd arrived. I briefly doubted my decision to invite him into my apartment but knowing that he wanted to talk about his sister, I couldn't stop myself. I kept seeing Ben's face in my mind and the comfort that it always brings me when he listens to me talk about my family. Clive needs that and regardless of everything that has happened between us, we do share a common bond that I can't ignore.
"Have you ever met any of the people?" He swallows a large mouthful of water. "Ever since I found out about your family, I've wondered if you've met any of the people who received their…"
"Their organs," I finish for him. "I met two of them. It was years ago and we haven't stayed in touch."
He nods his chin towards my chest. "I see the woman who got Coral's heart all the time."
I've been able to connect the dots enough to know that. In a rare twist of fate, the woman who is raising Clive's nephew also happens to be the same woman who received his sister's heart after the car accident that took her life. "I can't imagine what that must feel like."
"I hate it," he murmurs. "I need it too. At this point we've become friends and I care about what happens to her."
"Is she like family to you?" I ask out of pure curiosity. I've tried to envision the same scenario in my own life time and time again but the situation is so far removed from my own reality that I can't piece it all together emotionally.
"Not exactly like family," he says with a faint shake of his head. "We both care about Cory, my nephew, and we both want what's best for him."
"You love him a lot, don't you?" I smile through the question. I first saw the tender affection Clive has for his nephew in his office when he told me he had to go see Cory because he was feeling under the weather. It sounded as though it was something as simple as a common cold, but the weight of worry was there, pushing on Clive's shoulders.
"He's the only family I have left." His voice is even and steady. "I have other family but they're not like Cory. I feel close to him."
"What about his mother?" I jump to clarify not wanting to assume anything about Sadie. "Your sister is Cory's mother, right?"
"Christina." He fills in the blank effortlessly. "I have no idea where she is. She gave up custody of Cory to chase after her own dreams."
I had read a few articles online about Christina Parker. She's a few years younger than Clive and often popped up in searches related to him. She didn't seem to have any clear direction in life and I have to wonder if it's related to the fact that she'd been in the car the day Coral had been killed. She'd witnessed her sister's gruesome death first hand and I personally know the toll it can take. Judging her isn't part of my agenda.
"I want to know more about you, Lilly." His voice jars me from my thoughts. "I look at you and I don't know how you've accomplished everything you have after what happened to you."
I seriously debate how to respond. I've never liked talking about what happened that night six years ago. Giving voice to it always takes me right back to the moment when I heard my father walk through the front door of our home and methodically start his murderous rampage. "I try to stay focused on the future. I don't like thinking about the past."
"I can't let go of the past." His eyes flash over my face. "I admire you so much."
He says that because he can't see within me. He doesn't know that I'm so badly fractured that I'll never fully heal. I've had enough therapists tell me that the key to moving on is acceptance. It's easy for a stranger to toss that advice out when they have the comfort of a family's loving embrace to retreat to every night after a long day's work. All I have is the memory of my sister's screams, my mother's pleas and my father's vacant stare as he pulled the trigger over and over again.
"I'm trying to let go," I offer back. "I don't think it's possible to ever
He picks up the glass of water I set on the counter after we'd arrived. I briefly doubted my decision to invite him into my apartment but knowing that he wanted to talk about his sister, I couldn't stop myself. I kept seeing Ben's face in my mind and the comfort that it always brings me when he listens to me talk about my family. Clive needs that and regardless of everything that has happened between us, we do share a common bond that I can't ignore.
"Have you ever met any of the people?" He swallows a large mouthful of water. "Ever since I found out about your family, I've wondered if you've met any of the people who received their…"
"Their organs," I finish for him. "I met two of them. It was years ago and we haven't stayed in touch."
He nods his chin towards my chest. "I see the woman who got Coral's heart all the time."
I've been able to connect the dots enough to know that. In a rare twist of fate, the woman who is raising Clive's nephew also happens to be the same woman who received his sister's heart after the car accident that took her life. "I can't imagine what that must feel like."
"I hate it," he murmurs. "I need it too. At this point we've become friends and I care about what happens to her."
"Is she like family to you?" I ask out of pure curiosity. I've tried to envision the same scenario in my own life time and time again but the situation is so far removed from my own reality that I can't piece it all together emotionally.
"Not exactly like family," he says with a faint shake of his head. "We both care about Cory, my nephew, and we both want what's best for him."
"You love him a lot, don't you?" I smile through the question. I first saw the tender affection Clive has for his nephew in his office when he told me he had to go see Cory because he was feeling under the weather. It sounded as though it was something as simple as a common cold, but the weight of worry was there, pushing on Clive's shoulders.
"He's the only family I have left." His voice is even and steady. "I have other family but they're not like Cory. I feel close to him."
"What about his mother?" I jump to clarify not wanting to assume anything about Sadie. "Your sister is Cory's mother, right?"
"Christina." He fills in the blank effortlessly. "I have no idea where she is. She gave up custody of Cory to chase after her own dreams."
I had read a few articles online about Christina Parker. She's a few years younger than Clive and often popped up in searches related to him. She didn't seem to have any clear direction in life and I have to wonder if it's related to the fact that she'd been in the car the day Coral had been killed. She'd witnessed her sister's gruesome death first hand and I personally know the toll it can take. Judging her isn't part of my agenda.
"I want to know more about you, Lilly." His voice jars me from my thoughts. "I look at you and I don't know how you've accomplished everything you have after what happened to you."
I seriously debate how to respond. I've never liked talking about what happened that night six years ago. Giving voice to it always takes me right back to the moment when I heard my father walk through the front door of our home and methodically start his murderous rampage. "I try to stay focused on the future. I don't like thinking about the past."
"I can't let go of the past." His eyes flash over my face. "I admire you so much."
He says that because he can't see within me. He doesn't know that I'm so badly fractured that I'll never fully heal. I've had enough therapists tell me that the key to moving on is acceptance. It's easy for a stranger to toss that advice out when they have the comfort of a family's loving embrace to retreat to every night after a long day's work. All I have is the memory of my sister's screams, my mother's pleas and my father's vacant stare as he pulled the trigger over and over again.
"I'm trying to let go," I offer back. "I don't think it's possible to ever
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