Thoughts
about having dinner with her every night. Thoughts about Sienna
meeting Evie. Thoughts mingled with memories of how she felt in his
arms and the look in her eyes when she told him she loved him. And
desperate, reckless thoughts about lifting her from her chair,
carrying her up to that bed, and showing her exactly what he’d
dreamed about every single night for the last ten years.
“California,” she sighed. “Yeah, I did,
actually. I lived there for a little while.”
Ryan nodded, but she’d abruptly stopped
talking. “Well, did you like living out there?”
Sienna fought not to whimper. California.
Oh geez . This was not exactly how she’d seen this dinner
conversation going. After admitting to herself that her libido had
invited him to dinner and that there hadn’t been a whole lot of
thought involved, she decided she might as well give him some idea
of what she’d been up to the last ten years.
Maybe if she spilled, he would. She wasn’t
certain she wanted to know, but the longer he sat there the more of
him she wanted to absorb. She wanted to be a part of him again, as
stupid as that was.
“I kind of went on an extended road trip for
several years. College and I didn’t really get along.” She wrinkled
her nose.
A huffed grunt sounded from Ryan. “Oh,
believe me, I get that.”
Sienna wasn’t certain what to make of his
understanding. Surely he’d gone on to college. His parents would
have forced him to, wouldn’t they? He always used to complain about
how they planned his life for him.
At first, she’d told herself that his family
was the reason he’d disappeared, and she’d eventually moved on to
blame Nana. Though it hurt so deep down inside of her to admit it,
that’s why she’d stayed away so long. She’d never spoken the
accusation, but she’d believed her mother’s lies that Ryan’s family
hated her Gypsy ancestry. That Nana’s pride in her Romani heritage
and all of that talk of Gypsy magic is what had driven him away
because they believed, just as her mother believed, that Nana and
her ways were something to be scorned.
She’d gone on with her mother’s plans after
spending six weeks praying that Ryan would magically appear on the
beach that summer. She’d been so lost and heartbroken she hadn’t
had much fight left in her. That was how she’d ended up at
Katherine Deaton. Good God, what a joke that had been. It was
almost laughable, and had she not been in the very depths of a
deep, consuming depression, she would have laughed, right in her
mother’s face.
A conservative, women’s college, full of
wide-eyed disciples of the belief that men were the answer to any
woman’s desires, which were largely unintelligent anyway. Boys’ bad
behavior was to be expected, and once a girl secured herself a
husband then all of the problems in the world would magically
disappear. It made Sienna sick. The misogyny of it all ate at her
soul. She swallowed down another sip of her wine trying to wash
away the misery.
Sienna’s papers on women’s rights and the
downfall of humankind, all at the hands of money-hungry,
self-indulgent, men, had earned her several castigating letters
sent home. After her mother and stepfather thrust them in her face
with a lecture on what a horrible disappointment she was, she would
hang them proudly on the bulletin board in her dorm room.
She spent two months being sent daily to the
Headmaster’s office due to her adamant refusal to adhere to the
ridiculous dress code. She hated bras and panties and saw no
purpose in them whatsoever, and who the fuck actually wore
pantyhose anymore, anyway?
A nasty professor, something akin to a god to
the holier-than-thou girls of KD, had offered her another way to
improve her grades, and with the quick whip of her backhand across
his sanctimonious face, she’d gotten herself expelled. No one
believed that he’d made a pass or an offer. The hypocrisy of it all
drove her insane. It also drove her to the
about having dinner with her every night. Thoughts about Sienna
meeting Evie. Thoughts mingled with memories of how she felt in his
arms and the look in her eyes when she told him she loved him. And
desperate, reckless thoughts about lifting her from her chair,
carrying her up to that bed, and showing her exactly what he’d
dreamed about every single night for the last ten years.
“California,” she sighed. “Yeah, I did,
actually. I lived there for a little while.”
Ryan nodded, but she’d abruptly stopped
talking. “Well, did you like living out there?”
Sienna fought not to whimper. California.
Oh geez . This was not exactly how she’d seen this dinner
conversation going. After admitting to herself that her libido had
invited him to dinner and that there hadn’t been a whole lot of
thought involved, she decided she might as well give him some idea
of what she’d been up to the last ten years.
Maybe if she spilled, he would. She wasn’t
certain she wanted to know, but the longer he sat there the more of
him she wanted to absorb. She wanted to be a part of him again, as
stupid as that was.
“I kind of went on an extended road trip for
several years. College and I didn’t really get along.” She wrinkled
her nose.
A huffed grunt sounded from Ryan. “Oh,
believe me, I get that.”
Sienna wasn’t certain what to make of his
understanding. Surely he’d gone on to college. His parents would
have forced him to, wouldn’t they? He always used to complain about
how they planned his life for him.
At first, she’d told herself that his family
was the reason he’d disappeared, and she’d eventually moved on to
blame Nana. Though it hurt so deep down inside of her to admit it,
that’s why she’d stayed away so long. She’d never spoken the
accusation, but she’d believed her mother’s lies that Ryan’s family
hated her Gypsy ancestry. That Nana’s pride in her Romani heritage
and all of that talk of Gypsy magic is what had driven him away
because they believed, just as her mother believed, that Nana and
her ways were something to be scorned.
She’d gone on with her mother’s plans after
spending six weeks praying that Ryan would magically appear on the
beach that summer. She’d been so lost and heartbroken she hadn’t
had much fight left in her. That was how she’d ended up at
Katherine Deaton. Good God, what a joke that had been. It was
almost laughable, and had she not been in the very depths of a
deep, consuming depression, she would have laughed, right in her
mother’s face.
A conservative, women’s college, full of
wide-eyed disciples of the belief that men were the answer to any
woman’s desires, which were largely unintelligent anyway. Boys’ bad
behavior was to be expected, and once a girl secured herself a
husband then all of the problems in the world would magically
disappear. It made Sienna sick. The misogyny of it all ate at her
soul. She swallowed down another sip of her wine trying to wash
away the misery.
Sienna’s papers on women’s rights and the
downfall of humankind, all at the hands of money-hungry,
self-indulgent, men, had earned her several castigating letters
sent home. After her mother and stepfather thrust them in her face
with a lecture on what a horrible disappointment she was, she would
hang them proudly on the bulletin board in her dorm room.
She spent two months being sent daily to the
Headmaster’s office due to her adamant refusal to adhere to the
ridiculous dress code. She hated bras and panties and saw no
purpose in them whatsoever, and who the fuck actually wore
pantyhose anymore, anyway?
A nasty professor, something akin to a god to
the holier-than-thou girls of KD, had offered her another way to
improve her grades, and with the quick whip of her backhand across
his sanctimonious face, she’d gotten herself expelled. No one
believed that he’d made a pass or an offer. The hypocrisy of it all
drove her insane. It also drove her to the
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