the history of medicine you have figured out how to fix or replace nearly every system in the human body, but the brain remains a nut which seems hard to crack.”
Doctor Hammer laughed, “ Archie, did you just use an analogy?”
“Yes Doctor Hammer, Sir. Did I use it correctly? I have been attempting to sound more like Eve, to sound more human. It’s bad enough that I have a head that is shaped like giant vibrator, I really do not understand why I have to sound as if I was programmed by a dictionary salesman,” Archie said.
Doctor Hammer actually broke a smile, “I guess your head is a bit pointy up top. However I’m impressed that you’ve been trying to change your programming to sound more human.” He checked one of the many statistics that were listed on the monitor next to Marcus’s bed.
“Don’ t be Sir, it wasn’t my doing, it was Eve’s. She told me if I didn’t stop talking like a robot she was going to flash my speech programs and rewrite them.”
“Oh she did, did she? ” He glanced over his shoulder to Eve who appeared to be standing near the back wall. Instead of scrubs, she was dressed in a skimpy nurse’s outfit. She put her hands behind her back, rolled her eyes, and started to whistle. “Care to explain yourself missy?”
“What? ” She tried to play innocent. However, he was not buying, “Oh come on so I rewrote some of his speech protocols, and he is now free to learn all kinds of speech. In fact, our dear Archie can even learn to cuss, show him Archie.”
“Crap, you ass butt, lick my nipple nuts and send me to Alaska!” Archie said so proudly.
Doctor Hammer laughed, “Ass butt?”
“ Yeah, he is still learning how to cuss, cut him a little slack.” Eve said. “Keep working it Archie, you will get it sooner or later.”
Doctor Hammer shook his head, “Well by the looks of things it could be a while before our mystery man wakes up, if he wakes up at all. I’m going to get a bite to eat. Eve let me know if there are any changes.”
“Sure thing sweetie,” Eve said with an evil grin.
“Damn it Eve, stop that. I’m your programmer and your boss, and sure as Hell not your lover!” He stormed off.
Archie asked Eve, “Why do you keep doing that, you know it upsets him?”
Eve giggled like a little girl, “Oh don’t let him fool you . He loves the attention and it gives him something to complain about, besides if I did everything exactly the way he likes it, he would be terribly bored in no time.”
This seemed to confuse Archie, “So should I start calling him dear and honey, like you do?”
“Not unless you want to end up in the scrap pile out back.”
“Oh ,” was all he could process as a response.
Archie left Eve to watch over the man in the bed, but as he was leaving the room Eve called out to him, “Head shaped like a vibrator huh?”
He stopped moving forward and just his pointy-head rotated 180 degrees “Well, what do you think it looks like?”
She was speechless because his shinny head did bare an uncanny resemblance to a silver bullet vibrator, “Ah.” Satisfied he had chosen the correct item to compare his head to, his head spun forward and he left the room.
Days slipped by and the man in the bed healed, but didn’t wake. Doctor Hammer checked on him several times a day while Eve watched over him all the time. A week had passed since Doctor Hammer removed the drugs from his regiment that had kept him in a coma and he was beginning to worry that his patient’s brain might be damaged beyond repair. When they were ready to abandon all hope, Marcus woke.
For the man in the bed, the world started slowly coming into focus . He looked around the room and saw that he was in a bed; a tube was in his arm, one was up his nose, as well in far less comfortable places. He saw medical devices all around him, but for all his effort, he could not understand what they had to do with him. Shiny metal,
Doctor Hammer laughed, “ Archie, did you just use an analogy?”
“Yes Doctor Hammer, Sir. Did I use it correctly? I have been attempting to sound more like Eve, to sound more human. It’s bad enough that I have a head that is shaped like giant vibrator, I really do not understand why I have to sound as if I was programmed by a dictionary salesman,” Archie said.
Doctor Hammer actually broke a smile, “I guess your head is a bit pointy up top. However I’m impressed that you’ve been trying to change your programming to sound more human.” He checked one of the many statistics that were listed on the monitor next to Marcus’s bed.
“Don’ t be Sir, it wasn’t my doing, it was Eve’s. She told me if I didn’t stop talking like a robot she was going to flash my speech programs and rewrite them.”
“Oh she did, did she? ” He glanced over his shoulder to Eve who appeared to be standing near the back wall. Instead of scrubs, she was dressed in a skimpy nurse’s outfit. She put her hands behind her back, rolled her eyes, and started to whistle. “Care to explain yourself missy?”
“What? ” She tried to play innocent. However, he was not buying, “Oh come on so I rewrote some of his speech protocols, and he is now free to learn all kinds of speech. In fact, our dear Archie can even learn to cuss, show him Archie.”
“Crap, you ass butt, lick my nipple nuts and send me to Alaska!” Archie said so proudly.
Doctor Hammer laughed, “Ass butt?”
“ Yeah, he is still learning how to cuss, cut him a little slack.” Eve said. “Keep working it Archie, you will get it sooner or later.”
Doctor Hammer shook his head, “Well by the looks of things it could be a while before our mystery man wakes up, if he wakes up at all. I’m going to get a bite to eat. Eve let me know if there are any changes.”
“Sure thing sweetie,” Eve said with an evil grin.
“Damn it Eve, stop that. I’m your programmer and your boss, and sure as Hell not your lover!” He stormed off.
Archie asked Eve, “Why do you keep doing that, you know it upsets him?”
Eve giggled like a little girl, “Oh don’t let him fool you . He loves the attention and it gives him something to complain about, besides if I did everything exactly the way he likes it, he would be terribly bored in no time.”
This seemed to confuse Archie, “So should I start calling him dear and honey, like you do?”
“Not unless you want to end up in the scrap pile out back.”
“Oh ,” was all he could process as a response.
Archie left Eve to watch over the man in the bed, but as he was leaving the room Eve called out to him, “Head shaped like a vibrator huh?”
He stopped moving forward and just his pointy-head rotated 180 degrees “Well, what do you think it looks like?”
She was speechless because his shinny head did bare an uncanny resemblance to a silver bullet vibrator, “Ah.” Satisfied he had chosen the correct item to compare his head to, his head spun forward and he left the room.
Days slipped by and the man in the bed healed, but didn’t wake. Doctor Hammer checked on him several times a day while Eve watched over him all the time. A week had passed since Doctor Hammer removed the drugs from his regiment that had kept him in a coma and he was beginning to worry that his patient’s brain might be damaged beyond repair. When they were ready to abandon all hope, Marcus woke.
For the man in the bed, the world started slowly coming into focus . He looked around the room and saw that he was in a bed; a tube was in his arm, one was up his nose, as well in far less comfortable places. He saw medical devices all around him, but for all his effort, he could not understand what they had to do with him. Shiny metal,
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