Happy Chaos by Soleil Moon Frye

I’d involve him in getting the baby’s room ready, buying things for the baby—just making him feel involved and important. And I would assure him the baby wouldn’t affect my love for him.”
    â€”Sheila
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“I involved her in as much as possible. Dr visits, baby shower, etc. I made sure to show her and tell her that I love her at every possible opportunity. I explained that even though there will be a new baby, that I love her the same as always—more and more each day, but I would have to give the baby a lot of attention for a while. After her sister came, I involved her in diaper changes, baths, feedings, etc. so she wouldn’t feel as left out and ignored . . . and gave big praises for her help.”
    â€”Dana
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“I made a big deal out of what a cool thing it was to be a big sister—I was one, after all. Not that she agrees at this point . . . lol.”
    â€”Cari
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    always wanted a big family. I remember being really little and telling my mom that I wanted to have a hundred kids. She told me to be a teacher. Now, of course, there are some days when I feel like I can barely handle the two kids I have. Other days, especially when I hold my youngest and I realize how big she’s getting, I want to have more.
    Poet was just about two when we got down to business and decided to have another baby. I’d heard all the stories about older siblings who wanted to send the baby back when they came home from the hospital. Yikes , I thought. I really didn’t want that to happen.
    So from the very start we set out to make Poet feel totally included. We told her the news right away, and we let her know that as the big sister she was really, really important to this baby. We all talked about our favorite names, and Poet was constantly talking to the baby in my belly.
    The last few weeks of my pregnancy were this incredibly defining experience for our little family. I slowed down to be with Poet—totally and completely, with no distractions. We walked around the neighborhood and looked at butterflies and trees. We got ice cream and took our time eating it. We smelled the flowers. We cuddled close and talked about the baby coming. My godmother, Patricia, came to stay with us, and she showered both of us with attention. It was a totally magical time that set an amazing tone of love and welcoming.

    Poet and me enjoying the moment together as we waited for Jagger’s arrival
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    Jagger was born two weeks late, on March 17, 2008. Once again I had my playlist and my sheets from home, but this time I added a picture of Poet to my room at the hospital. The Soleil Moon Frye Birthing Team was back together again—Demi was a coach, Tori was right alongside her, and so were my mom and godmother. The whole room vibrated with music just the way it did when Poet was born.
    After Jagger was born, we just wanted to get home. We didn’t even take the time to bathe her in the hospital! Jason brought Poet to pick us up, and the look on her face was this amazing mixture of shock, awe, and pure love at first sight.
    We wanted to keep that loving feeling going, so at home, we included Poet in everything. Jason and I each had our special moments with Jagger—she was this little Buddha baby, totally peaceful. And when one of us was with her, the other one was focused on Poet. Three days after Jagger was born, she stayed with my mom for a few hours while we took Poet to see the trains in Griffith Park. It was one of our favorite places to go before Jagger was born, and we wanted Poet to know that the world she knew before wasn’t closing down—it was just getting bigger and more colorful.
    A few weeks later, Jason was working in San Diego, and I took Poet to LEGOLAND and the San Diego Zoo. It seems totally crazy now that I look back on it—I’d just gotten rid of that beautiful mesh granny panty and ice pack combo, and I was running around an amusement park