others to come back to you.”
“How long am I supposed to wait?” she said. “Weeks? Months? Years ? And what, Jax – I’m just going to live off you the whole time that I sit around and wait?”
“What do you mean, ‘live off’ me?”
“What do I mean?” Her voice was rising now. “I mean, I live here in your house, Jax, rent-free. I have zero income, so I can’t even buy the goddamn groceries… you pay for literally every little thing, including my toothpaste and tampons. Do you have any idea how fucking humiliating that is for me? Do you?”
“No,” he said quietly.
“You paid all my medical bills, you’re paying for Noah’s private care provider, you’re paying for my lawyer and my physical therapy, you’re giving my Mom money, you’re handing Naomi half-a-million dollars… and there’s no end in sight to any of it. I’m just – I’m a goddamn gold-digger, living off my rich boyfriend.” She was shouting now. “I’ve been taking care of Noah since I was four years old and working to help my family since I was eighteen, and now I’m this useless nothing who can’t do anything remotely productive, except when I’m lying flat on my back.”
“OK.” Jax’s voice was hard. “You just about done?”
“For the moment.”
“Listen close now. You paying attention?”
She nodded, her arms crossed tight against her body.
“First, you don’t earn your keep around here by fucking me, and I can’t believe you even said that to me out loud. You shake that idea out of that head of yours and I mean right the hell now. We clear?”
She looked away.
“Sarah? We clear?”
“Yeah.”
“Next, you’re no goddamn charity case, so stop acting like one. You’re the woman that I love, and that makes you my family. And if that’s what you are, then Annie and Noah are my family too, and I take care of family. End of fucking discussion.”
“But –”
“I’m not finished talking yet. Next up, whatever you think you’re taking from me, I can promise you that it’s nothing compared to what you’re giving me… and no, I don’t mean sex. I mean love, baby, and total forgiveness and understanding. You think just anyone would be able to look at my life and all the shit I’ve done, and still see any good in me? You think just anyone could know that I planned to kill their ex, and then forgive me for that? See the man that I’m trying so fucking hard to be?”
“Jax...”
“Still not done, doll. I know that you’re not used to letting someone else take care of you, but you’d better fucking learn how and I mean damn quick. Because I’m not going to stop taking care of you, no matter how many mugs you throw across the room. You hear me? I love you, and you’re the most important thing in my life, and you’re mine to take care of. It won’t be like this forever – it’s just for now. So, let me, Sarah. Let me, just for now.”
Something inside of her broke and Sarah covered her face and sobbed, hard enough to make her whole body shake. Jax crossed the kitchen in two steps, caught her in his arms. She was almost hyperventilating and he ran his hands up and down her back, trying to calm her.
“Shhhh. Baby, breathe, OK? Just breathe for me.”
“I – I’m sorry… Jax, I’m so, so sorry…”
“Nuh-uh, none of that.” He stroked her hair. “No apologies… all I need right now is for you to come back to me.”
She held on tighter, inhaling the musky scent that was pure Jax. She couldn’t see, couldn’t think, couldn’t even stand unaided; all she could do was cry and hold on to him. She lost all track of time, stopped caring about anything except being in Jax’s arms – and being forgiven.
Jax held her until her breathing evened out, then he picked her up and carried her to the living room sofa. He sat, cradling her in his lap, and she pressed her face to his chest, gripped his thickly-muscled shoulders. Small tremors still shook her every few seconds, but at
“How long am I supposed to wait?” she said. “Weeks? Months? Years ? And what, Jax – I’m just going to live off you the whole time that I sit around and wait?”
“What do you mean, ‘live off’ me?”
“What do I mean?” Her voice was rising now. “I mean, I live here in your house, Jax, rent-free. I have zero income, so I can’t even buy the goddamn groceries… you pay for literally every little thing, including my toothpaste and tampons. Do you have any idea how fucking humiliating that is for me? Do you?”
“No,” he said quietly.
“You paid all my medical bills, you’re paying for Noah’s private care provider, you’re paying for my lawyer and my physical therapy, you’re giving my Mom money, you’re handing Naomi half-a-million dollars… and there’s no end in sight to any of it. I’m just – I’m a goddamn gold-digger, living off my rich boyfriend.” She was shouting now. “I’ve been taking care of Noah since I was four years old and working to help my family since I was eighteen, and now I’m this useless nothing who can’t do anything remotely productive, except when I’m lying flat on my back.”
“OK.” Jax’s voice was hard. “You just about done?”
“For the moment.”
“Listen close now. You paying attention?”
She nodded, her arms crossed tight against her body.
“First, you don’t earn your keep around here by fucking me, and I can’t believe you even said that to me out loud. You shake that idea out of that head of yours and I mean right the hell now. We clear?”
She looked away.
“Sarah? We clear?”
“Yeah.”
“Next, you’re no goddamn charity case, so stop acting like one. You’re the woman that I love, and that makes you my family. And if that’s what you are, then Annie and Noah are my family too, and I take care of family. End of fucking discussion.”
“But –”
“I’m not finished talking yet. Next up, whatever you think you’re taking from me, I can promise you that it’s nothing compared to what you’re giving me… and no, I don’t mean sex. I mean love, baby, and total forgiveness and understanding. You think just anyone would be able to look at my life and all the shit I’ve done, and still see any good in me? You think just anyone could know that I planned to kill their ex, and then forgive me for that? See the man that I’m trying so fucking hard to be?”
“Jax...”
“Still not done, doll. I know that you’re not used to letting someone else take care of you, but you’d better fucking learn how and I mean damn quick. Because I’m not going to stop taking care of you, no matter how many mugs you throw across the room. You hear me? I love you, and you’re the most important thing in my life, and you’re mine to take care of. It won’t be like this forever – it’s just for now. So, let me, Sarah. Let me, just for now.”
Something inside of her broke and Sarah covered her face and sobbed, hard enough to make her whole body shake. Jax crossed the kitchen in two steps, caught her in his arms. She was almost hyperventilating and he ran his hands up and down her back, trying to calm her.
“Shhhh. Baby, breathe, OK? Just breathe for me.”
“I – I’m sorry… Jax, I’m so, so sorry…”
“Nuh-uh, none of that.” He stroked her hair. “No apologies… all I need right now is for you to come back to me.”
She held on tighter, inhaling the musky scent that was pure Jax. She couldn’t see, couldn’t think, couldn’t even stand unaided; all she could do was cry and hold on to him. She lost all track of time, stopped caring about anything except being in Jax’s arms – and being forgiven.
Jax held her until her breathing evened out, then he picked her up and carried her to the living room sofa. He sat, cradling her in his lap, and she pressed her face to his chest, gripped his thickly-muscled shoulders. Small tremors still shook her every few seconds, but at
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