Hear the Wind Blow by Mary Downing Hahn Page B

I shook my head. Surely I'd feel his passing. He'd come to me in a dream or send me a vision. If my brother had joined Papa across the River Jordan, I'd know.
    To keep from fretting, I took the water to the horse. "Since I have no idea what the captain named you, I'm calling you Ranger." I stroked his muzzle, pleased with the name, for I knew it was one the captain would despise. "Ranger," I repeated, "Ranger. Like one of Mosby's company. You think you can remember that, Ranger?"
    Ranger bent his head over the bucket and drank. I stayed with him a while, telling him about myself and my family and how he was now our horse. I was hoping he'd get used to my smell and the sound of my voice.

    After a time, I heard Rachel calling me. Her voice filled me with alarm, for it rang with urgency and fear. Leaving Ranger, I ran toward the house as fast as I could go.

6
    "H ASWELL !" R ACHEL HURRIED to meet me. "Where have you been? Mama's gone down to the river to wash. I couldn't stop her!" She pulled at me, frantic with fear. "I said it's too cold, but she told me to leave her be, she had to wash the blood away."

    I ran toward the river, with Rachel leading the way. We found Mama up to her neck in the water. Her long hair floated on the surface, and her dress billowed around her. I plunged in and grabbed her hands, shocked breathless by icy-cold water.
    Mama looked at me as if I were a stranger. "Is the blood gone? Is it washed away?" she asked.
    "Come out of the water, Mama," I gasped. "You'll freeze to death."
    "But is the blood gone?"
    "Yes," I said. "Yes, it's gone."
    "Are you certain?" She peered at me. "The Lord won't allow me into heaven with blood on my hands. I broke a commandment. I killed a man."
    I kept pulling her toward shore. The current ran swift. I lost my footing a couple of times and fell, but I kept hold of Mama. Rachel stood on the bank, shivering and crying.
    "Sweet Jesus," Mama prayed, "forgive me. Please forgive me."
    Somehow I got her to the edge of the river. With Rachel pulling from above and me pushing from below, we got her up the muddy bank. Out of the water, the cold air hit me like a gust of wind from the North Pole.

    "Mama, Mama," Rachel wept.
    Mama pushed her aside and staggered on through the trees. Rachel ran beside her. "Mama, what's wrong? Be yourself, please, Mama, be yourself!"
    But Mama didn't so much as look at Rachel. She was too deep in prayer to notice where she was or what she was doing. Somehow, we steered her to the root cellar. The fire had died down with no one to tend it. I got it going again and turned to Rachel.
    "Get Mama out of those wet clothes and wrap her in a blanket. I'll fetch more wood."
    For once, Rachel did as I told her. By the time I came back with logs from the woodpile, Mama was sitting by the fire, draped in blankets but shivering. Her long brown hair waved over her shoulders like a young girl's, but the grief in her face was an old woman's.
    I stripped in a corner and wrapped up in my blanket. Rachel had hung Mama's clothing near the fire, and I put mine beside them. I was still cold, but at least I was dry.
    Mama looked at me. "Haswell." She touched my cheek. "Why is it so easy to kill a man? In an instant he was gone."
    While I tried to think of an answer, she went on talking, more to herself than me. "I only meant to stop him. Not kill him."
    "Mama, it was the same as killing in war. The good Lord understands such acts."
    Rachel put her arms around Mama. "He was a wicked man, and he's in hell right now."
    "No," Mama whispered, "no, I didn't mean to send him there. I should have let him repent, I should have given him time to save his soul."

    "Please stop fretting, Mama," I begged. "You did what you had to, that's all."
    "But the trigger," Mama went on as if I hadn't spoken. "I just gave it a squeeze and it—" She broke off and began crying. "Oh, Haswell, I never dreamed I could kill a man."
    I don't know how long Rachel and I tried to comfort Mama. Nothing we