Here's the Situation by Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

all our shit! Is she mindgaming us?!” So the six abs dragged Grenade-i-Locks outside by her extensions and stomped her ass until one of her fake tits popped out. Suddenly, they heard the wail of approaching sirens. And since most of the abs were on probation, they fled into the wilderness. The end.
    Hopefully, at story’s end, your one-night stand will be in deep REM, snoring like a buzzsaw. But, if the chick still won’t go to sleep, here are some proven strategies that The Sitch has used to jettison a lingerer:
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    The “Early Departure”
    This strategy requires the use of your wingman. (Note: If you’re famous, you may also consider using your road manager or another member of your entourage.) Have him call your cell—or better, knock on your door—and remind you that you have an early flight. This works best when your buddy can physically lurk in the doorway until the chick gathers her things and leaves with him. If you employ this tactic while staying in your share house down The Shore, watch out you don’t run into her the next night at Karma. That is not going to go well.
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    The “Bro in Need”
    When she’s not looking, text a buddy to call your cell. Then, run this script:
    (Phone rings.) “Yo. Whoa, buddy, calm down. What’s the trouble? Where are you? Okay, sit tight. I’m on my way.” (End call.) “I’m sorry, baby, I gotta go. My best friend needs my help. I’ll wait while you get dressed.”
    The “Social Network”
    If you don’t care if you ever see a girl again, and you don’t want her number, you can be very direct while still remaining polite. There’s no benefit to being a jerk to a girl, regardless of the circumstances, so when you really want to give her the brush-off, the line is: “Listen, sweetheart. I had a great time. I’ll Facebook you.” She’ll know then that you’re basically saying, “See you later, babe. But not really.”
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    The “Li’l Sis”
    Tell the girl that your little sister just got dumped by her boyfriend. She’s hysterical and you need to go comfort her. Not only will this score you a fast exit (you are literally allowed to run from the building), but it will endear you in the eyes of the chick you’re blowing off. This could lead to her telling her friends what a sweet guy you are, and down the road, you might be able to pound out one of them, too.
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    The “Point Blank”
    You also need to be prepared for the chick who, no matter what tactic you try, simply won’t leave. That’s not a fun situation. Your only play is to be very forward with her: “Listen, sweetheart, I had a lot of fun tonight. This wasn’t a joke. Leave me your number and I promise I’ll give you a ring tomorrow. But I’ve got to get some sleep and I need you to go home. Now.” She will find your honesty refreshing.
    SITCH AB FACT: To fall asleep, my abs count abs jumping over abs.
    Handling the “L-Bomb”
    W hen your situation is tight and girls are flocking to you, you’re going to run into situations when a chick drops the L-bomb on you. So what do you say when a girl tells you she loves you? You say, “Awesome.” And that’s it. What do you do if she again tells you that she loves you? You roll.
    Any conversation that begins with a chick telling you she loves you is bad news, my bros. She’s going to take whatever you say to mean that you care for her, too, even if you never send an L-word sailing back at her on a wave of soft kisses. The Sitch himself has made this mistake. It only prolongs the pain and kills your game. An impromptu L-bomb is how a cool hookup can morph into a clinger right quick.

Multiple Partners
    If you follow all my advice in this book and start creeping like a pro, you’ll soon find yourself faced with going home with chicks in precariously unmanageable numbers.